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AIBU?

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Original poster

The burden of being a man

185 replies

Boomboombooo · 22/12/2024 15:48

"Men will give up their happiness for their families but women will give up their families for their happiness."

My DH explaining the burden of being a man to me this morning.

OP posts:
ParsnipPuree · 24/12/2024 15:30

I think it depends. I'm in my 50's and In my circle working for women is optional, generally husbands take financial responsibility. My girlfriends who work (mostly part time) do because they love what they do.

I realise this is not the norm for everyone but I do feel for my ds knowing he'll carry this burden.

Echobelly · 24/12/2024 11:02

More like women give up everything for their families and so men can just carry on with their lives.

MumoftwoGirls11 · 24/12/2024 10:59

Ask him to do all the housework you will do over the next week then. 🙄

TwinklySquid · 24/12/2024 09:56

Mumsnet is littered with posts from women who have had their male partner do something selfish because they want to . Women, especially once kids come along, are constantly putting everyone else first. How many women have put their dreams aside because the kids or their partner comes first?

Your partner is living in dream world!

NonPlayerCharacter · 24/12/2024 09:21

Most divorces are initiated by women but it's rare for them to leave their kids.

Billyvy · 23/12/2024 22:31

It's certainly the opposite. I even see it in my kids. And something i always wonder why.

ErinAoife · 23/12/2024 22:26

Well in my case it is the other way around. I gave everything to my husband and kids and ex decided that I was not good enough after 25 years and he needed his freedom with the lovey comment: I should be grateful to him for not leaving me earlier when the kids were smalls. Our youngest daughter was barely 4 when he left but I guess for him she was all grown up.

Judecb · 23/12/2024 22:23

Ridiculous.

BennyBee · 23/12/2024 20:34

Nerdlings · 22/12/2024 15:53

Sorry but this is ridiculous

A large number of women give up so much of themselves for their families including their careers, financial security and independence. And that's not to mention the loss of identify so any women feel.

Who is it that generally leaves if a relationship breaks down? Because in most cases it isn't the woman

Actually, far more women than men leave their marriages. With cheating, the old adage that women cheat to leave and men cheat to stay has a lot of truth.

I agree with the rest, that women make more sacrifices- maybe that’s why they end up leaving!!

Cosycover · 23/12/2024 20:21

If my husband said this to me and genuinely believed it to be true then I'd divorce him.

DisabledDemon · 23/12/2024 20:02

Did you not realise that he was certifiable when you married him?

Snakebite61 · 23/12/2024 19:59

Boomboombooo · 22/12/2024 15:48

"Men will give up their happiness for their families but women will give up their families for their happiness."

My DH explaining the burden of being a man to me this morning.

I'm a bloke and this is nuts 🤣

Marine30 · 23/12/2024 19:47

Meanwhile back on Earth..

RealHousewivesOfTaunton · 23/12/2024 19:46

To be fair, Daddy Pig is made into a laughing stock in Peppa Pig. It's a bit sus.

Your DH has gotten it the wrong way round though. Just ask any of the work/golf/cycling/football/pub widows, or the 2.7 million single mothers in the UK.

Empressofall · 23/12/2024 19:35

Respectfully, this man is an idiot.

Loobieloogold · 23/12/2024 19:32

Wow. What was the context of this conversation?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/12/2024 19:09

Is in the middle of his monthly Battle of the Somme by any chance?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/12/2024 19:08

I think he’s literally got it the wrong way round!

Honestly, what is he talking about?

Owly11 · 23/12/2024 19:06

What the fuck am I reading? This is the absolute inverse of reality. I honestly could never share a space with a man who said that especially if he genuinely believed it.

Lurkingandlearning · 23/12/2024 19:02

So he said that in front of his daughter? Hope she was ignoring him. What a pathetic maudlin sack of gas he is when hung over.

asrl78 · 23/12/2024 18:54

I can think of at least one or two things that suck about being a man but giving up happiness for family isn't one of them.

Single50something · 23/12/2024 18:54

KimberleyClark · 22/12/2024 15:51

Isn’t it the other way around?

Was about to say the very same thing. So many men's lives don't change when responsibility happens
Still go out a lot/continue with same job/same hobbies etc.

Conat · 22/12/2024 19:45

How many women ever walk out on their husbands and children?

mondaytosunday · 22/12/2024 19:28

Uh I think he has it the wrong way round!

ElleneAsanto · 22/12/2024 19:06

I think he means that men tend stay with a partner (because it’s convenient to have wifey looking after him) even if he’s unhappy with the relationship - and only buggers off when he finds another woman to look after him.

Whereas women are happier to ditch a partner that’s bringing nothing to the relationship and be independent.