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Original poster

Dd choosing friend over our outing together

205 replies

Whatsthepointhey · 22/12/2024 15:40

Dd is 6.
She’s not been well for a while, but started to get better in the last few weeks.
I arranged to go to a special Christmas show as a treat, booked the tickets, we read the book and she got a fancy new dress. I was really excited about this special mother/daughter outing as it’s something I’ve always wanted to go to and to take dd felt really special.
I started to get ready earlier and was asking her to get dressed, whilst I did my make up and would do her hair. She was running around saying she was playing etc. I then heard her calling to her friend over the back, who comes to stay with her auntie some weekends.
She came running upstairs saying how she didn’t want to go to the show, wanted to play with this friend and could she please play with her as she didn’t want to go to the show, she said sorry and pleaded.
What would you have done?

OP posts:
Candlesandmatches · 22/12/2024 15:54

She is 6. She doesn’t get to choose/order the day. You go. That’s the end of it.

Frankiedear · 22/12/2024 15:54

You are the parent, so parent. Children thrive of boundaries, giving them too may choices / decisions is not good for a 6 year old. It's odd that you are giving this a 2nd thought, she goes to the pre_arranged booked event

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 22/12/2024 15:52

Whatsthepointhey · 22/12/2024 15:52

Like what? Please can you explain further? 🙏

Show quote history

Every kid is like that. This isn’t symptomatic of ASD 🙄

Original poster
Whatsthepointhey · 22/12/2024 15:52

Accidentallyrude · 22/12/2024 15:50

My daughter was like that and is now four years older than your daughter and has just been diagnosed with autism.

Like what? Please can you explain further? 🙏

OP posts:
DeliciousApples · 22/12/2024 15:52

Go to the show.
She won't understand that it was expensive and time and thought went into it etc.

She can play with the girl later.
Once she's there she will forget all about her.

It's nothing personal. She's a kid.

If she's not complained if feeling sick in the last hour she's well enough to go. Take a plastic bag just in case she is unwell unexpectedly.

sonjadog · 22/12/2024 15:51

Obviously she goes to the show. She is six. She can't weigh up the options and think about the consequences of not choosing one, that's what the adults in her life are for. The tickets are bought, you go.

Stormyweatheroutthere · 22/12/2024 15:51

If she is running rings round you at 6 heaven help you at 16....

Accidentallyrude · 22/12/2024 15:50

My daughter was like that and is now four years older than your daughter and has just been diagnosed with autism.

TwinklyAmberOrca · 22/12/2024 15:50

Whatsthepointhey · 22/12/2024 15:47

Sorry, to explain further, she still feels sick some days and has been saying she doesn’t want to go out anywhere (yesterday we offered to take her to the local Christmas village with ice skating) and she said she just wanted to stay at home
Earlier today she was saying she didn’t want to go anywhere out of the house

Then you stay at home and she goes to bed.

If she is too poorly for the show she is too poorly for a friend play date.

Raindancer411 · 22/12/2024 15:49

If she still feels sick she shouldn't be playing with anyone...

If you think she is well enough , she should go to the show. You are the adult

ilovesooty · 22/12/2024 15:49

If she feels too sick to go to the show perhaps she's too sick to play with her friend.

Goldengirl123 · 22/12/2024 15:48

Say no. Simple as that

Toddlerteaplease · 22/12/2024 15:48

She still needs to go. Some distraction will be good for her.

Original poster
Whatsthepointhey · 22/12/2024 15:47

Sorry, to explain further, she still feels sick some days and has been saying she doesn’t want to go out anywhere (yesterday we offered to take her to the local Christmas village with ice skating) and she said she just wanted to stay at home
Earlier today she was saying she didn’t want to go anywhere out of the house

OP posts:
TwinklyAmberOrca · 22/12/2024 15:47

@Whatsthepointhey she is 6 years old. It's not her choice!

You just say it's nice she wants to play with her friend but you already have something special planned so another time. Then close the conversation down.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 22/12/2024 15:47

MiddleParking · 22/12/2024 15:45

Weird framing OP. She isn’t choosing her friend over you. She doesn’t choose.

Yes that part is very weird. She isn't choosing she's over excited and distracted

ilovesooty · 22/12/2024 15:47

You take her to the show. It's already booked and she knows that.

Doyoumind · 22/12/2024 15:47

YABU to ask the question. No one is going to say you should have cancelled going to the show on the whim of a 6yo.

mammaCh · 22/12/2024 15:45

I'd take her to the show. Definitely

MiddleParking · 22/12/2024 15:45

Weird framing OP. She isn’t choosing her friend over you. She doesn’t choose.

DuesToTheDirt · 22/12/2024 15:45

Take her to the show. I'm not sure why this is even a question.

biscuitsandbooks · 22/12/2024 15:44

She's six! She doesn't get to decide.

DelphiniumBlue · 22/12/2024 15:44

If you've already bought the tickets then of course you're going, she can play with her friend tomorrow.
Were you really going to cancel on the whim of a 6 year old who obviously doesn't understand about money, prices or the importance of making commitments and sticking to them? You wouldn't be doing her any favours.

Mysteryfemale · 22/12/2024 15:44

Show. She's 6.

cleanasawhistle · 22/12/2024 15:44

I would take her to the show,you were looking forward to this day too.
I hope you have a lovely time.