Dd choosing friend over our outing together

Children don't get to make decisions in the family.

This is also the kind of thing my autistic son would have done at that age and if we'd pushed him to go there would have been an awful meltdown so even though normal parenting would say put your foot down and take them, experience has taught me that sometimes backing off is the best thing to do

My teenage dumps me near enough every single day for her friends. At 6 it wouldn’t be happening.

You need to tell her to get ready to go to the show. It’s paid for, she’s 6, and she does what you say. 🙂

Just a hunch, but I do think it's pertinent to your question.

Given the recent situation, I think I'd have let her do what she wanted to (she's probably missed out on so much so I'd have been led by her). Although of course very frustrating when you had something so lovely planned.

PS: I'm not a stalker but after reading a prior thread I read up on the condition as I'd never heard of it and I just had a feeling you were the same poster. I'm glad your DD seems to be on the mend.

Really?

She's 6, not 16.

If she is well enough to be running around the house asking to go and play with a friend then she can't be very poorly now - thank goodness!
I would have taken her. You are the adult, she is the child. It's difficult to know sometimes when to take them seriously but you have organised the event and she should be going with you as planned.
Of course, we can't see your DD, take her temp, or know how ill she has been so you need to make the call really.

So you didn't go to the show and instead let her play with a friend even though she is 'sick' and may pass her illness to her friend over Christmas.

Obviously go to the show.
Don't let her grow up into a flaky and spoilt brat.

Obviously you take her to the show.

"Not today Jennifer. We've got tickets to see Show."

This. Too sick to go to the show too sick to play.

Someone is trying to make out that you are an egomaniac because you used the pronoun "I" five times in your post, even though the majority of the uses of that were describing factual things from your point of view.

It's true that you had the "temerity" to tell us that "I was really excited about this special mother/daughter outing as it’s something I’ve always wanted to go", which for the person who called you out is evidence of this egomania. 🙄

Ignore them. But also, as PP have said, don't worry. Your daughter just sees two immediate alternatives (the show or playing with her friend), and cannot be expected to understand all of the subtleties (e.g., how much effort you put into organising it, the cost of the tickets, etc) that make going to the show the right choice. Tell her how great the show will be, promise her that she can meet up with the friend asap and that the friend will also love to hear how good the show was, and you'll be fine. 🙏

Well if she feels sick she shouldn’t be playing with anyone in case it it’s infectious and someone else gets sick for Christmas. She’s not sick if she is well enough to play is she?

How much did you pay for the tickets and new dress. If it cost a lot money I think I would have made her go.

If she is feeling that sick, I'm sure the friend's family will love you for encouraging their child to stay and play 🙄

Then she stays home and goes to bed.

She doesn't stay home and play with her friend

If she feels sick, then she doesn't get to play with another child and infect them right before Christmas. Why are you not getting this?!

If she is well, she goes to the show as planned. If she is not well, she stays at home. None of the options should involve playing with her friend.

That. If you didn't go, you've made a huge rod for your own back in the future. Total madness.

If you thought that maybe she wasn't well enough to sit on a seat and watch a show, she sure as hell wasn't well enough to go off and play with friends.

You're going to have to to tighten up or you're going to have a nightmare when she's a teen.

Are you the lady with the child who has suspected PANS / PANDAS?

You are the adult. Tell your daughter that she can play with her friend next time she comes. She needs to learn who is in charge and not be allowed to get away with having her own way. You will make a rod for your own back if she does. Children of that age need firm but gentle structure. Tell her how amazing the show will be and she can't afford to miss it. She can tell her teacher and friends about it later.

And yes, very normal child behaviour.

I'd acknowledge what she wants, because at that moment she was having lots of fun and didn't want it to stop. But chances are, she'd have enjoyed where you were going too. So if have just lightly said "ah wouldn't that be fun! I'm so glad you're having a great time. We have to leave in 15 (or whatever) but luckily it's the holidays so you'll have loads of time to play another day."

My kids often didn't want to stop whatever they were doing, even if it was for something objectively more fun like an outing or treat, just because they didn't have the insight yet to think outside of the enjoyment they were getting from what they were doing. Once we'd moved on, they were fine and enjoyed it.

If it was something run of the mill, like a trip to the library or whatever, by all means be flexible and give t a miss.