Dd choosing friend over our outing together

Exactly!

If she’s too poorly to go to the show, she’s too poorly to see her friend.

So she either goes to the show and sees her friend afterwards or she stays home and doesn’t go to the show or see her friend.

What happens if the friend has a day off school, will you also let her have a day off too?

Why are you letting her walk all over you OP?

You may think you’re being nice but you’re not because kids actually need boundaries and they need the parent to be the parent.

I can’t understand why you wouldn’t take her to the show. She’s 6. She’s seen her friend and wants to play- totally normal. However you have pre booked a play and you’ve paid a lot for it. So it’s tough- she goes to the play and sees her friend next time. It’s important for kids to make their own choices sometimes yes. But it’s also important for kids to respect pre made plans that they helped make and the importance of sticking to them. Also, if she’s well enough to play out with friend then she’s well enough to sit and watch a show surely?

I say let's arrange for you play with friend next week (or whenever) but we are off now to our show. No way would she be not going to the show so she could play with her friend, kids are impulsive and they don't think stuff theough. If she said she didn't feel well I'd say well let's try as we have tickets and see how yiu feel.

If she feels too sick to go to the show, then she doesn't play with the friend. Can't pick and choose when she feels too unwell to do something she doesn't want to do

OP kids this age live in the moment. They want to do what they want to do right now. They can’t see that advanced planning is needed - ie if I do X now, I won’t be able to do Y later. Would you miss a flight because your daughter wanted to watch a particular programme on TV?!!

I would have made a time that suits for the friend to come and play- whether that was after you come back or tomorrow or next weekend or whatever - and taken her to the show.

Kids can struggle to think about the future.

If there is something happening now that’s fun, they will want to do that instead regardless of what else might be happening later on.

It’s like when kids don’t want to leave the park, even though they may be doing something just as fun afterwards but all they can think about is that moment.

Of course she’s going to want to see her friend.
But I would have told her that she’ll have to see her when she gets home or that you’ll arrange a play date at a later time because you already have plans.

I wouldn’t even consider not going to the event.

Of course you go to the show. You teach your daughter you can't just change your plans if something better comes along.

Yup.

I can't believe you stayed home. She's six, and you'd spent money. She'll be running circles around you in no time.

Does she have more complex health needs? We're you concerned about how she'd cope being taken out if she's had to miss school? I'm not familiar with the history here.

Ditto

100% this

have you missed the show?

She’ll probably ask later when the show is, and will cry when you tell her she missed it.

This.

And that's why society is going to hell in a handcart!!

"Independence in decision making" - she's fucking 6!!!

I would 100% make her go.

Are you sure she's actually feeling sick or has got used to using it to get her own way of things?

Quite.

I’m sorry, who’s the adult in the relationship?

Children of that age often go for the bird in the hand so to speak. They can't weigh up something fun right now and something that might be even more fun later. I would've taken her to the
Show but if she's missed out on friends recently ,spoken to neighbour and arranged a playdate for tomorrow

Sorry I don't understand the question.

The relevance being that it is a uniquely oddly worded thread AND given your previous thread on your daughter, it would be helpful to know the context of her missing significant amounts of time at school.

Take her to the show. You have bought tickets.
It's not unusual behaviour for a 6 year old to suddenly say she wants to stay and play with a friend instead if going out. She isn't choosing a friend over you, a 6 year old doesn't rationalise things like that.They think in the moment.
But that shouldn't make you change your plans. She will probably enjoy it when you are there

Don't know the history of her illness but if she has been housebound for a while she may feel uncertain about going out somewhere unfamiliar. Playing with a friend at her own house or next door may feel like a safe, fun thing to do in comparison. It may also feel like a legitimate reason to her for turning down the thing she is a bit worried about. Go big on your empathy, kindness and firmness and see where you go with it. No point making black or white decisions until you know the score. Hoping you get/ got your lovely trip out together. x