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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I'm not liable to pay this?

115 replies

cadburyegg · 22/12/2024 11:43

I am panicking.

My exh moved out 4 years ago. About a year before that, he'd been made redundant. He did get a new job just before we broke up.

A couple of weeks ago I got a letter for him, this is unusual as he's changed everything to his new address, but anyway I gave it to him. He's told me that it was an invoice from his previous employer (the one he worked for before his 2020 redundancy) to say he'd been overpaid by £1000 and needs to repay it pronto. He's said that because we were together at the time and I kept some savings when he left, that I should pay half of it.

I've told him absolutely not but he's guilt tripping me and now I'm worried if I should morally give him something? I did have about 3k in savings but I've since spent it on house repairs and divorce costs. We are now divorced and the financial order came through a month ago. I've said the financial order means we can't claim off each other but he disagrees. It's a clean break order, I bought him out of the house and transferred him a LOT of money. He hasn't paid anything towards the divorce, he's never seen a solicitor, I paid for everything. He's also paid no regular child maintenance for a year because CMS says he doesn't have to.

I told him to use the money I transferred to him and he said absolutely not he's saving that for a new house. He's threatened to see a solicitor but I can't believe he will get anywhere. AIBU?

OP posts:
MyGingerNinja · 22/12/2024 14:03

My ex tried this over something after our divorce and financial order was finalised ... I just replied "What part of full and final settlement do you not understand?" he never mentioned it again!

HocusFord · 22/12/2024 13:59

You’re not liable for anything. Ignore the chancer entirely.

PureBoggin · 22/12/2024 13:58

"ok let me know how you get on" on repeat.

Clarinet1 · 22/12/2024 13:56

To me, it was his job, the overpayment went to
him, so it is his responsibility to pay it back!

Coldfinch · 22/12/2024 13:56

VickyEadieofThigh · 22/12/2024 11:44

Clean break divorce settlement means you're no longer liable for any further payments to him. Stand firm.

First post nails it.

Tumbler2121 · 22/12/2024 13:55

If he has had a letter from his employers it's important that he does not reply. This is because "For most debts, the time limit is 6 years since you last wrote to them or made a payment."

Any reply is opening up the situation. If it has been opened up, he can offfer them a tiny amount per month.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 22/12/2024 13:45

Absolutely stand firm. You are not morally or legally obliged to pay it. The clean break order is what it says. Best of luck.

ManchesterLu · 22/12/2024 13:41

What a cheeky bastard. If he texts you anything about it again, I'd just respond with laughing emojis. It's a joke and there's no way you're liable.

If he wants to take it to court, so be it. Make sure you keep all communications in case you need them.

Hwi · 22/12/2024 13:37

You seriously owe him nothing by law, unless you feel there is a moral obligation, which I don't think you do. Please check if any loans have been taken against any of your assets asap.

WhatColourIsThatBalloon · 22/12/2024 13:28

Don't be a muppet. He's not even paid CMS ffs. Tell him to go see a solicitor.

skyeisthelimit · 22/12/2024 13:26

Don't engage in any discussion over it, just remind him about the clean break order. The whole point of that is that there is no claim on either party.

Just rinse and repeat the phrase the PP have suggested

Mrsbloggz · 22/12/2024 13:23

I mean this kindly op but the truth is you are being a bit of a mug because you believe him. We are here to help you wise up and be tougher 💪🏻😎

Butchyrestingface · 22/12/2024 13:22

He didn't pay anything towards the divorce.
Didn't pay for his child for a year.
Now wants you to pay his ongoing life costs.

Can't imagine why you divested yourself of this prince.

I suggest you pay for one last thing: postal forwarding service.

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 22/12/2024 13:21

He hasn't paid anything towards the divorce, he's never seen a solicitor, I paid for everything. He's also paid no regular child maintenance for a year because CMS says he doesn't have to.

This explains everything, OP. He thinks you're a mug and he will try and get money out of you for anything he can think of.

He's the one who had the job where he was overpaid, this is his problem.

(if this is even true)

Mrsbloggz · 22/12/2024 13:20

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 22/12/2024 13:17

I would respond to this arsehole by laughing uncontrollably and saying "shame you weren't this funny when we were together - you should try stand up".

Seriously OP, he's a bloody chancer and you're giving him headspace. Legally and morally, he hasn't a leg to stand on.

Tempting, but why shoot him down this early in the game? It would be much more fun to let it play out and then shoot him down later on 😈

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 22/12/2024 13:17

I would respond to this arsehole by laughing uncontrollably and saying "shame you weren't this funny when we were together - you should try stand up".

Seriously OP, he's a bloody chancer and you're giving him headspace. Legally and morally, he hasn't a leg to stand on.

2catsandhappy · 22/12/2024 13:17

He is trying it on.

You KNOW you have a clean break order. The law is with you.
Courage @cadburyegg he is bluffing.
He admits he can cover this cost!

MouldWoes · 22/12/2024 13:16

clean break means clean break

DemonicCaveMaggot · 22/12/2024 13:16

'Let me know how that goes'.

If you do hear from a solicitor, and you won't, send back a bill for child maintenance and tell him to offset it against that.

Lunatic.

flyingfar · 22/12/2024 13:15

Tell him to take a running jump. Reminds me of when I found my boyfriend in bed with my flatmate. I moved out and he had the audacity to call me up 3 months later to ask me to pay my share of the bills. I told him to get lost.

NormanBateslonglosttwin · 22/12/2024 13:15

"Go fuck yourself Derek." and block.

Badburyrings · 22/12/2024 13:06

HPandthelastwish · 22/12/2024 11:46

Reply back "Great, let me know how that goes" and move on with your day.

This nails it.

MyDeftDuck · 22/12/2024 13:05

Tell the freeloading twat to bugger off and find a solicitor then - this is not your responsibility .

As for the overpayment, his old employer should liaise with him to instigate a repayment scheme agreeable to them both which causes no financial hardship for your ex but ensures they get the money back.

MounjaroOnMyMind · 22/12/2024 13:04

Tell him absolutely no chance.

Anotherfrozenpizzafortea · 22/12/2024 13:02

No to this ludicrous request.

And give CMS a call on Monday. I assume if he's got enough for a house deposit he's working and therefore able to contribute to his DC upbringing?

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