Guests haven't RSVPd for Xmas drinks and food

I'd send a text saying:

'Hi Dan/ Emma, this is your last chance to confirm that you'll be coming to 6pm Christmas Day drinks with us. We'd love to see you but if I don't hear anything from you by 8pm today I'll take it that you're not coming and adjust the catering accordingly. If we're not going to see you, have a great Christmas and we'll catch up in 2025.' Perhaps they don't realise that you're planning a meal and were hoping to play it by ear.

Madness. Just ask them. Some mumsnetters are weird.

Ha ha. Make them be the only ones not eating? A bit difficult in reality. OP's solution of having some food that can be prepared last minute is the best one.

Realistically, if people have had Christmas dinner, would anyone seriously eat a great deal later in the day?
In your situation I wouldn't chase them up again.......assume they aren't coming and cater for those who are. If they show up simply point out that they can have a drink but there's not much left to eat.

Incredibly rude. Would not chase them, and would not invite again

Leave it. It translates to a no imo.

This is priceless! I don’t think I could pluck up the courage to do it though! I wish!

Have they provided a reason for the delay? I'm struggling to think of an excuse for not giving you a straight yes or no beyond 'I am waiting for a better offer'. A 'maybe' would be acceptable if they were on call.

I no longer have any tolerance for people like this.

So rude OP I would always expect a reply and especially right now. Would re-evaluate my relationship with said folk either way

Chase them up, you don’t look needy you need to know for a reason. They are rude, if they can’t come then just say so.

It's rude. But very much a thing.

I was hosting a (non xmas) party w/food a few years back and about 50% were 'I'll let you know''s which came to about 30 heads inc kids. I didn't do a head count but about 4 families/15 individuals of that 50% turned up.

I figured I just wouldn't ever do a big food thing again. As I found it too stressful not knowing what quantities. Like you, I didn't care whether people were a yes or a no, I just wanted to know. I think it's about people wanting their options open and issues with commitment as well as simply not wanting to come. Just drinks and crisps going forward.

"Hi, nice you could make it. We didn't cater for you but you're welcome to a drink."

I always presume that when an English person doesn’t rsvp they aren’t coming. It’s like the “we must meet up” that never actually means it.

Could you send a group message to everyone you have invited. Reiterate the invitation, confirm timings and expectations, (that sounds really pretentious but I mean like, we're having a casual buffet and games, or, looking forward to a massive roast, bring a bottle' type thing) and please let you know if they can/can't make it.
I think especially if the confirmed invitation was quite late and they know you often have a crowd it might have come across as more of a casual drop in party and not necessarily requiring a definite commitment.

I agree. Why should you remind them. I wouldn't prepare extra foodl.

Some people seem to think that they only need to respond if they're coming - if not, they just don't bother.

Tbf drinks in the evening, I'd take as a casual drop in affair that an rsvp wasn't expected - that's how it's always been with friends round here. If you arrive late and there's not much left, you don't worry, and if you arrive early you don't take huge amounts until it's clear that there is plenty.

At this time of year it may have slipped their mind too. Wednesday evening was the first evening (and the last until Christmas day) that I didn't have anything on at all. Seeing you probably jogged his mind, then he forgot again.
Drop a quick text saying "are you able to let me know if you're coming on X day, for catering numbers."

You really don’t want them deciding they’re bored and suddenly turning up though, so I would text with one of the suggestions above. Along the lines of “as we haven’t heard back, we assume you have plans and we will catch up with you in the New Year”…and don’t invite them again 😊

Passive aggressive

I think for a xmas day evening buffet you can't really be too precise about food quantity anyway. It's not like you're hosting a sit down meal on a normal day. People may not be very hungry if they've already had a big meal. They may not feel like going out and prefer to slump in front of the tv so may ring up with an excuse anyway. Teens are unlikely to want to attend.

As others have said, a Xmas day buffet sounds like a 'drop in if you want' sort of affair not a formal invitation.

I wouldn’t contact them. It’s rude not to respond, just send a text you don’t have to ‘speak’ to anyone. FFS I despair that simple interactions are now so challenging.

I'd text and say that I'm just finalising the food for Xmas Day and assume they aren't coming as I hadn't heard, but let me know today if it's any different. Then wish them a lovely Christmas.

And never invite again.

I dont think it's very common to host like this on Xmas Day so I'd not be surprised that they don't intend to come but it's very rude of them not to reply.

In my experience, 'I will let you know' also means no. Some people have the decency to 'let you know it's a no' and many only do so when chased and sometimes chased multiple times. I now don't chase because it annoys me having to do so for an invite! I would just assume it's a no.

I think I’d message them to say, ‘Since I haven’t heard from you, I take it that you won’t be coming on Christmas Day evening?’

This is perfect. They haven't the decency to let you know, so make the decision for them.