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Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

1000 replies

DefendingPan · 22/12/2024 10:14

Where I work there’s employee male and female toilets, customer male and female toilets and one customer disabled toilet.

This colleague is non-binary, is not disabled, and uses the disabled toilet/ baby change (with their own Radar key) because they “don’t feel comfortable) using either the male or female toilets.

I mentioned to my boss that I didn’t think this was appropriate and got accused of transphobia and threatened with discipline. I was made to feel like I was being offensive and discriminatory for bringing it up.

We have many elderly customers and many young families who all also need to use it.

Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
DaringLion · 22/12/2024 20:15

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 22/12/2024 20:01

The irony! 😂

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I know too far up there own arses

XenoBitch · 22/12/2024 20:13

YANBU, you said the toilets are single cubicle anyway (so the door into them from the corridor goes directly into the loo, not a bank of loos).

It would make more sense for all the loos to be gender neutral (like they are in cafes/small bars etc).

The non-binary person is BVU using the disabled loo.

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 20:13

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Abusing a disabled person online. Classy

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 20:10

JubileeJuice · 22/12/2024 20:03

The ableism on Mumsnet never fails to surprise me. Imagine not having the intelligence level to understand that many disabled people use SUVs because they need to transport wheelchairs and hoists. That same mental capacity where you believe disabled people can't be involved in gardening. It beggars belief that they walk among us.

Not only that, but then these people are happy to insult disabled people, who go through SO MUCH SHIT, from agonising pain to surgery, accessibility issues to being treated like a child, and suggest that someone who can't decide what gender they want to be suffers the same amount and it could be classed as a disability?! Fucking hell. Can you not hear yourselves?

Edited

That's the trans lobby for you. Really showing their colours here. Be Kind, diversity and equality and all that

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 22/12/2024 20:09

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LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 22/12/2024 20:04

Hear hear @JubileeJuice 👏

JubileeJuice · 22/12/2024 20:04

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 22/12/2024 20:01

The irony! 😂

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I'm a disabled person using speech to text software. Sometimes it adds an extra word. It still didn't stop me from getting my Doctorate, funnily enough.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 22/12/2024 20:04

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Vile comment.

JubileeJuice · 22/12/2024 20:03

The ableism on Mumsnet never fails to surprise me. Imagine not having the intelligence level to understand that many disabled people use SUVs because they need to transport wheelchairs and hoists. That same mental capacity where you believe disabled people can't be involved in gardening. It beggars belief that they walk among us.

Not only that, but then these people are happy to insult disabled people, who go through SO MUCH SHIT, from agonising pain to surgery, accessibility issues to being treated like a child, and suggest that someone who can't decide what gender they want to be suffers the same amount and it could be classed as a disability?! Fucking hell. Can you not hear yourselves?

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 22/12/2024 20:02

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DaringLion · 22/12/2024 20:01

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LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 22/12/2024 20:01

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The irony! 😂

visitbreakfast · 22/12/2024 19:58

@SameAsItEverWas24

These arent "convenient" toilets. They are DISABLED toilets. It really isn't rocket science. They are for people who actually need those facilities. Ffs

I never said I made my decision based on convenience, I said I made it based on the individual circumstances.

I am disabled. I get enhanced ADP for both care and mobility, I drive a mobility car, I have an access card which includes the symbol for both queuing and toileting. I could go on…

I am not able to use ladies toilets if they are downstairs or if they have a large queue. I am able to use them if they are on the level and available. That is my access needs according to my disability. I only ever use it if I really have to. That's not convenience, but thanks for your lovely post.

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 19:55

Tsama · 22/12/2024 18:39

Lmao, my homophobic cause? lololol

How ironic since I'm literally part of a lgbt community full of gays and lesbians and they don't buy your nonsense.

You're a riot my dude, since it's not my cause, I'm simply not a bigot, all you said are the same old cliche anti trans drivel used for years, and guess what? These arguments didn't work yesterday, don't work today, won't work tomorrow.

Stay mad, stay losing, trans are here to stay no matter how much you scream about it, be prepared to be disappointed for the rest of your life because you won't win.

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Yeah lyao all you want. Insert yourself into a movement that isn't yours, appropriate a struggle that doesn't belong to you. No one is buying it anymore. Toodle pip!

JubileeJuice · 22/12/2024 19:55

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Makingchocolatecake · 22/12/2024 19:53

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PiperLeo · 22/12/2024 19:51

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 15:31

Not really. Because what about customers who want single sex facilities? Why should they give it up for one person? Who's needs trumps who's? Pandering to all this is NOT a solution. It why women all.over the country suddenly have to share previously single sex facilities with blokes who get a kick out of using the ladies. The "just remove the signs" solution solves nothing

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If I read it correctly, OP said the staff toilets were single (as in one room with a door) but the person is using the customer disabled toilet. So it's only affecting the disabled users/parents with tots.

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 19:50

visitbreakfast · 22/12/2024 16:11

@Sirzy

If you can make an active choice between using the disabled toilet or not then chances are you don’t need the disabled toilet.

I don't always need it. Sometimes it's based on location - if the ladies toilets are down/up stairs I would need to use the disabled. Also if there is a massive line and I'm desperate I would use the disabled, but if it wasn't busy/I wasn't about to wet myself I would choose the ladies.

These arent "convenient" toilets. They are DISABLED toilets. It really isn't rocket science. They are for people who actually need those facilities. Ffs

WarmingClothesontheRadiator · 22/12/2024 19:49

Makingchocolatecake · 22/12/2024 19:47

I think this is your workplace's issue! Been using unisex toilets for years in lots of jobs with no problem.

I think all toilets will be neutral soon, saves space!

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They would need to change the law first

JubileeJuice · 22/12/2024 19:48

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I am just speechless.

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 19:48

Bromptotoo · 22/12/2024 16:30

@verysmellyjelly FFS if the anxiety is disabling then they're disabled.

How difficult is that to grasp?

Your second para is offensive.

Hang on, I thought gender/trans wasn't a mental health condition anymore? Isn't assuming that a bit.... Transphobic?

Makingchocolatecake · 22/12/2024 19:47

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 22/12/2024 19:39

In the toilet that aligns with their sex! Why should the toilets be changed to suit one person with a belief that no one can define?

Stop this pandering nonsense. If it's 'just a sign on a door' why can't a 'non-binary' person use the toilet no matter what symbol is there?

Unisex toilets are shit. My work has two toilets, male and female. They made them unisex and then were changed back as the women were fed up with the seat always being up and piss on the floor/rim.

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I think this is your workplace's issue! Been using unisex toilets for years in lots of jobs with no problem.

I think all toilets will be neutral soon, saves space!

JubileeJuice · 22/12/2024 19:45

TheGander · 22/12/2024 18:05

That’s literally never happened.

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It's happened to me.

DaringLion · 22/12/2024 19:44

Hunglikeapolevaulter · 22/12/2024 19:13

Who the fuck tells on someone for using a disabled toilet ,should be doing there job instead of be a little tell tale

"A little tell tale", are you five years old? And it's their job, not there job.

Yes but who tells ? Someone who should mind there own business .Yes I am 5 years old my mums letting me use her iPad .

DaringLion · 22/12/2024 19:39

I’m a person who obviously is very chilled in this world and am not bothered who uses what fucking toilet.Your still talking bullshit where dos it say the manager knew in the OP (strongly implying there aware)is not what the post says that’s what you have written (they defended him)also what you have written .Perhaps the manager is not a saddo who police’s the toilets .

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