Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

Not all disabilities are visible.

If the non binary person has anxieties about using gendered toilets, whether for their birth sex or the other, that to me, and I think in law, would be a disability.

Whether PPs like it or not, gender reassignment (including identifying as non-binary) is a protected characteristic in the UK, so your outdated views will, I hope, one day be viewed in the same way as racism and homophobia are today.

If they’re identical single occupancy and people often use the wrong one they may as well be unisex.

Maybe this person is actually disabled, they don’t need to tell you if they are.

Having the disabled toilet double up as baby changing is pretty shit anyway.

How are they attention seeking?!? They need a wee!!! Not offending anyone, not announcing to the world - it's just weird op spying on where a person wees

I’d also be annoyed OP. Disabled toilets are for disabled people. Not people who seem to disagree with biology. I don’t know a better ‘solution’ but I do share your irritation with this. Completely unfair on disabled people.

Mind your own business. It's been discussed and approved. Nobody needs to explain anything to you.

I mentioned to my boss that I didn’t think this was appropriate and got accused of transphobia and threatened with discipline.

It seems like you may have some personal bias against this person. Would you say you dislike them?

It’s the OP who’s making a big performance out of this, by complaining to the manager. I doubt that the employee makes an announcement wherever they’re going to the toilet: “Hey everyone, I’m just off to use the accessible toilet again, because there’s no toilet for me, the non-binary one.”

Far more likely that they just quietly nip away to the toilet and then get back to work. None of the non-binary people I know make a big deal of it; this seems to be something that only happens on Mumsnet.

Like most, you know, PEOPLE, most non-binary people just want to get on with their lives in peace. That includes being able to use a toilet.

You are so right op.
Being severely disabled it's annoying when non disabled people use the disabled toilet.. usually there is only one compared to many other toilets.
Some use them in supermarkets as changing rooms to try on clothes now they don't have changing rooms.. and here l am stuck outside leaking...
You did the right thing.
Non disabled people simply don't understand.
My friends stoma bag was leaking once and coming unstuck.. she needed the disabled loo to use the private sink.. out comes a fella with an armful of jeans he'd be trying on.. my friend questioned if he was disabled.. he said no.. but it wasn't his fault ASDA had done away with the changing rooms.

Jesus fucking Christ. You sound a right charmer. Reported.

That has literally been my experience. Or "lived experience", to make it sound more meaningful.

I agree. In addition for some disabled people whose disability affects continence, being able to get to a suitable toilet in time could be the difference between an enjoyable day out and having to go home after a mishap.

👏👏👏

Yes, you are being unreasonable. What is it to you where someone visits the toilet 🤷 i would absolutely hate to work with a petty vindictive individual like you. If i was your manager you would be on my radar for sacking. Ffs

Jesus fucking Christ. You sound a right charmer. Reported.

This is not really about the disabled toilet being occupied by a non disabled person and it's disingenuous to pretend that's what you're upset about. You could instead direct your outrage at not having unisex toilets and more toilet facilities for both sexes as well.

Anyone can buy a radar key online.

TBH anyone who doesn't know if they're male or female despite having been born either male or female has mental health issues IMO. I'd just leave them to their confused and deluded lives. Many people don't consider themselves disabled despite having a disability.

If your colleague is male he should use the male toilet. If your colleague is female she should use the female toilet. Their belief system doesn't need to come into it and certainly needn't result in them using a disabled toilet in this circumstance. If the colleagues belief system means they are uncomfortable using the facilities on offer they should request additional facilities, not assume they can take those reserved for others.

And don't forget by adding a San pro bin too!

Really they should use the toilet for their actual sex. But it's not really any of your business.
If the toilets are all single occupancy units, using the disabled one is just attention seeking, look how different I am imo...

I agree with the OP, in my opinion there are two genders only so they should use either the male or female toilet. That said after raising the issue I would do nothing as there is nothing you can do. I think the wider issue is what happens when someone appears who says they have a right to use the female or male toilet when this is not the biological sex they were born with - this may or may not happen. Less likely I think than it was 2 years ago but still possible.

I think it sounds like there is an issue with an inadequate number of accessible toilets.

Rather than focusing on who is using it at any particular moment, surely the solution is to ask for more accessible loos to be installed.

Good grief just keep your nose out. There are eleventy billion MN threads berating trans people for using the gendered loos. What the blazers do you think is the solution? Probably causes the least upset for all if they just go alone into the disabled toilet. I assume this single person using the disabled loo two or three times a day isn't in there for hours every time?

It’s better than a man dressed up as a woman using the female toilets.

It is an accessible toilet for all who need it, not just people with physical disability or young children.

Honestly, you are being discriminatory and wrong to bring it up. This colleague doesn't feel comfortable using either of the gender assigned toilets. You don't say what their sex is, but assuming they are XX chromosome and "female" i can completely understand not wanting to use the male bathroom. They will also have their reasons for not wanting to use the female toilets.

They must feel so uncomfortable in their own body, if using the unisex accessible toilet that is completely contained and private allows them to relieve themself most comfortably then thats nobody elses business and they have every right to do so. I say this as a disabled person myself who also has a radar key as regular cubicled toilets are incredibly difficult for me to use.