Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

But for those people to use the "wrong" one is a choice. They know they're using one which does not match their sex. This person does not have a toilet appropriate for their use, and either choice is the "wrong" one. That is thefore not a choice.

There is no unisex facility for this person. The accessible toilet is therefore the best option. Yes, it does add to the list of people needing to use the accessible toilet. But that is not this person's fault.

I think it's the best place for them - are you disabled and unable to use the 'right' one for you? If someone in the workplace has a condition that means they have to use the disabled loo and can't hold it then I'd complain, if it's barely/not used that YABU.

Well in short it’s not identifying with either A or B. But in practice you’re right, it’s a very complex question. And I suspect there would be as many different answers as there are people.

No issue for you you mean

No I did not say I am not disabled. What I actually said was " I don't consider myself disabled"

But as you clearly have no imagination to understand why someone with no obvious phyical impairments might want to use the accessible toilet I'll tell you. I have Crohn's Disease. It's generally under very good control but sometimes I need the privacy to wash properly. My condition however is nowhere near that I would be able (or even want ) to claim disability payments and it has no effect on my ability to work, travel etc.

I don't have a stoma bag, but many Crohn's sufferers do. They need privacy too.

Anyone with urinary incontinence is in the same position- not "disabled" but needs the privacy occasionally.

@Bromptotoo Sunflower lanyards are a literal laughing stock nowadays and seriously disabled people are encouraged not to wear them because of that.

I am well aware of invisible disability and that can be a valid reason sometimes to use a disabled toilet (eg Crohns). I don't question that at all. That doesn't mean a fleeting sense of discomfort is a disability.

Then you lobby for separate disabled toilets for men and women.

We have had single sex toilets for years and they are fine, as they are, thank you. I don’t see why they should be changed for someone who says they are non-binary, which is just the lasted trendy label and a fad that will disappear in the next few years before the next attention seeking fad comes along.

Btw, I do have to use the disabled toilets on the odd occasion due to a bowel issue and I definitely don’t find them as bad as men’s toilets (which I used to have to clean, when I had a part time cleaning job).

Yes there is. They have sex. They can use the appropriate sexed toilet.

How they consider their ‘gender’ represents that sec or other wise is their own business/obsession/issue.

Diasbled toilets are for the disabled who have no other choice.

Gender ideology enforces this as does the idea of ‘non-binary’ that suggests they are somehow special but everyone else must conform to binary gendered expectations.

Yes, my point is that if op is so bothered about disabled people why not speak to the management about the fact that disabled colleagues have to share with colleagues when non disabled colleagues don't.

@verysmellyjelly gosh, no of course I wasn't saying gender is a disability.

Please don’t tell me what I mean.

@DaphneduMaureen it's not your right because you're not disabled 👍 Keep abusing others' provisions! The fact you're defending it in such an awful way shows that at some level you do know how wrong your behaviour is.

Disabled toilets are for disabled people. No one who is not disabled should be using them.

Your nonbinary colleague's use of one is yet more evidence of the lack of understanding about what disabled people require. It is discrimination... against the dignity and freedom of movement for people with disabilities.

What do you mean by 'not disabled'?

If using either gendered loo causes them anxiety then that's a disability.

Why do you think we have Sunflower badges on lanyards and signs to remind us not all disabilities are visible.

Thisssss. Virtually everyone saying it's not a big deal isn't disabled. A tiny sprinkling of people claiming disability and desperate to throw our rights away.

When you're actually in a chair and have major serious disabilities and it is THE ONLY toilet you can get into... things are very different. You should all be praying it's never you.

So, let me get this straight - I'm transphobic because I believe disabled toilets should be reserved for disabled people? For the record, I’m not disabled, but I firmly believe these facilities should serve those they’re designed for - people with genuine physical needs.

A non-binary person should use the toilets designated for their sex. Disabled toilets are not a fallback option for those who don’t want to make that choice.

Love that those who understand basic biology and know that humans can't change sex, and that people don't have to subscribe to an ideology they don't believe in - if they don't want to (like religion) are labelled the 'GC brigade' 🤣. Love it.

Ok, I’ll do that while still continuing to use them as is my right. All the best, have a nice Christmas.

I think the issue of men entering women's spaces (which will be used by many women) is bigger than than them using the separate, disabled loo which in the average workplace will only be used by maybe one person. It isn't perfect by any means, it's annoying and trans people should lobby for their own toilet but we know that's unlikely to happen and this is an imperfect temporary solution.

@wombat15 it's also the customer toilet.

No, the person who is not disabled at all but using the disabled toilet is the one being a bit of a dick. They may well not have thought it through so I'm not going to assume malice. But OP isn't wrong to take issue with it.

Single sex rules would work as long as it was made clear that people of the opposite sex could only enter the toilet if they were a carer. Regardless, it is not "fairly common" for disabled people in workplaces to have female carers with them.

Cross post. You haven’t defined it. You say it’s existed for ages, but in that extremely long time no one has come up with a definition?

Proof it’s nonsense.

I am disabled, use a chair, and just wanted to say I feel
part of a group at the bottom of a pile.
It is a fair enough comment ‘what’s your problem, it’s only a toilet’ if you are able-bodied.
But might I add it is really adding to our anxiety when people who are using facilities designed for us when they are able-bodied and don’t technically need to.
The sense of isolation we feel is real.
Please do not dismiss us.