Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

@DaphneduMaureen

I am not registered disabled

Of course you are not, there is no such 'register'

@Hotflushesandchilblains Of course you have a condition! It's necessary that you must in order to argue with the mean nasty disabled woman who just wants access to her own toilet and not to have to wait so long she soils her very expensive wheelchair that is hard to clean.

But of course. Everyone else who wants it needs that toilet as much as I do. Of course.

but neither elderly people, nor young families are disabled either?

So it's actually a "disabled/baby change/people who need more room/people with young children (and, at least in my work 'open to anyone else when the other toilet is being used because it's silly to hang around and wait if there's an empty toilet right there,')" toilet. In essence, a "special circumstances" toilet, rather than strictly a "physical disabilities ONLY" toilet.

In which case one more person using it for, what, 5 minutes a day isn't going to make a huge difference in terms of general accessibility.

At work, we have ’Inclusive’ toilets

At our work we also have inclusive toilets:
One inclusive of all males regardless of how they dress, what they identify as, any cosmetic surgery they may have had, or what ever their religion.
One inclusive of all females regardless of how they dress, what they identify as, and cosmetic surgery they may have had, whatever their religion or their experience of male violence including sexual violence.
One inclusive of those who need a toilet due to physical disabilities and may need it at short-notice so part of the adjustment is to have a this toilet exclusive for their use.

But everyone who wants to do this using disabled loos whenever they want to does have a major impact. Try searching ALL the thread about this on MN. It comes up repeatedly and many women have spoken about how this affects them. We do absolutely end up waiting longer, in greater discomfort, and sometimes people positively enjoy making cripples wait. This is a real thing.

I did not twist anything. You said they are legally for disabled people, which is propping up what some people are saying on this thread - that they are ONLY for disabled people. I challenged that.

And how do you know I am not disabled? I do, actually, have a condition which means I have to use the disabled toilets. But I am not precious enough to think only I should have access.

I'm a wheel chair user so cant fit in the regular loos and honestly i object to the disabled loos now being dual purpose .In england recently i saw the disabled loo is now also the inclusive loo - all 3 were in use and when i got in absolutely stunk had pee all over the floor and seat i know hidden disabilities exist but i think disabled loos are now just considered a extra toilet !

I don’t have a disability, hence this conversation around the use of accessible toilets by able-bodied people. Is reading comprehension a problem for you? You might struggle with this link if so: commonslibrary.parliament.uk/registering-as-disabled/

Not sure when people became so bloody fragile, but at least he's not using the women's.

He should use the male toilet if he's a man though but I can't get upset with them using the accessible one.

If you had read the thread, you would see that this affects disabled people and that we care. It's sad that you think that doesn't matter.

@Bromptotoo

If using either gendered loo causes them anxiety then that's a disability.

Haha

@rwalker Baby change should be in both men's and women's, and a full size adult change in the disabled loo.

Can you explain why you care what toilet your colleague uses?

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle I would have been willing to discuss this with you if you hadn't been so needlessly rude and unpleasant, especially as I have been invisibly disabled (for years) myself before becoming very obviously visibly disabled and as such, know both sides. But tbh I just can't spend the effort on someone who reacts like you do.

Your boss is trying to navigate a tricky situation. Pander to the employee that thinks they’re special while we all know everyone is male or female. At least it isn’t a male “non-binary” trying to use the female toilet.

so what’s your view on sharing facilities with baby change

Regardless of your views on transgender people, this person can't do right for doing wrong.

Who the hell cares if they're using the disabled toilet??

And it's absolutely none of your business, how would you know they don't have a disability? Even if you've asked them and they've said no, they most likely wouldn't want to disclose it to a nosy parker at work

Neither you not the OP know how the person is affected.

If there's doubt I'd give them the benefit of it.

You are being discriminatory because you're bringing up something which has zero effect on you or anyone else just because you're unhappy with them being made more comfortable..

An employee popping into the disabled toilet for 2 minutes at a time, 3 or 4 times a day, is NOT having a major impact on disabled people. You're deliberately making an issue where there isn't one.

OP all discussion aside I would never ever ever bring this up to your manager again. Going through a disciplinary process will not be a good thing at all

Ridiculous comment.

Your attitude is actually unhelpful for anyone with a non visible condition who is then forced to explain that despite being fully mobile, active and healthy looking that they have a condition which entitles them to use the accessible toilet. And yes, I have been challenged in real life. Perhaps I should wear a badge to prove I meet the requirements?

@Hotflushesandchilblains No, but they are legally mandated to exist because of us. Good job twisting my words, though!

@Bromptotoo Similarly you can evolve a scenario in any situation to make the unreasonable and selfish act appear reasonable. Attenuate, exaggerate, twist the facts... I'm sure I too could come up with a sudden onset disability that means that the colleague does need to use the disabled toilet. That's not impossible, as many disabilities appear later on in life. If the colleague has a significant disability then it's fine for them to use that loo, but for the purposes of the thread I am taking OP at her word that they don't.

...

16 pages in so it’s probably been suggested but… just suggest to your employer to make both toilets unisex. If they are single occupier and exactly the same inside, it makes no sense to gender them. That way, the non binary employee feels comfortable using them, and people get an extra toilet to piss in 🤷‍♀️ win/win!