Page 22 | Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

DefendingPan · 2024-12-22T10:14:25+00:00

Where I work there’s employee male and female toilets, customer male and female toilets and one customer disabled toilet. This colleague is non-binary, is not disabled, and uses the disabled toilet/ baby change (with their own Radar key) because they “don’t feel comfortable) using either the male or female toilets. I mentioned to my boss that I didn’t think this was appropriate and got accused of transphobia and threatened with discipline. I was made to feel like I was being offensive and discriminatory for bringing it up. We have many elderly customers and many young families who all also need to use it. Was I being unreasonable?

tuvamoodyson · 22/12/2024 13:00

I wouldn’t care a jot!

ThatRareUmberJoker · 22/12/2024 12:58

FionaSkates · 22/12/2024 12:56

Did you just refer to the person in question as ‘it’?

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They are non binary?

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 12:57

FionaSkates · 22/12/2024 12:56

Did you just refer to the person in question as ‘it’?

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Well. We don't know the pronouns do we? No one wishes to presume. How very transphobic

FionaSkates · 22/12/2024 12:56

MatronPomfrey · 22/12/2024 12:22

Your boss is trying to navigate a tricky situation. Pander to the employee that thinks they’re special while we all know everyone is male or female. At least it isn’t a male “non-binary” trying to use the female toilet.

Did you just refer to the person in question as ‘it’?

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 12:53

Bearsinmotion · 22/12/2024 12:48

Well, yes. As are disabled people. But accessible toilets aren't. If we actually had sex segregated accessible toilets this situation wouldn't arise. I have never understood why if single sex toilets are important (and they are) this goes out the window when applied to people with disabilities.

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Not difficult to understand..disabled loos are much bigger and fully enclosed. No one shares the space with another person. There is rarely space to apply that to all loos, especially when you need to provide a higher density of cubicles. And until about 2018, it didn't occur to anyone that single sex loos would be a problem...because of completely made up narcissistic conditions that require all toilets to be totally rebuilt everywhere and rebadged.

visitbreakfast · 22/12/2024 12:49

@DaphneduMaureen

In some LAs there is, actually.

I know, but unless it's national, then there is no official register as that would mean someone being considered disabled in one council area but not the next.

Sirzy · 22/12/2024 12:49

It’s no wonder so many disabled people struggle to go out when so many people don’t think twice about making life harder for them.

Bearsinmotion · 22/12/2024 12:48

WarmingClothesontheRadiator · 22/12/2024 12:44

’non binary people’ are male or female.

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Well, yes. As are disabled people. But accessible toilets aren't. If we actually had sex segregated accessible toilets this situation wouldn't arise. I have never understood why if single sex toilets are important (and they are) this goes out the window when applied to people with disabilities.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/12/2024 12:48

WarmingClothesontheRadiator · 22/12/2024 12:25

At work, we have ’Inclusive’ toilets

At our work we also have inclusive toilets:
One inclusive of all males regardless of how they dress, what they identify as, any cosmetic surgery they may have had, or what ever their religion.
One inclusive of all females regardless of how they dress, what they identify as, and cosmetic surgery they may have had, whatever their religion or their experience of male violence including sexual violence.
One inclusive of those who need a toilet due to physical disabilities and may need it at short-notice so part of the adjustment is to have a this toilet exclusive for their use.

Absolutely.

There is absolutely no one on the planet who doesn't fall into one of the following three categories:

Male and able bodied
Female and able bodied
Disabled

Everyone is already included.

The only way it could be more inclusive would be to have both male and female accessible toilets.

Cooriedoon · 22/12/2024 12:48

No-one other than disabled people should be using disabled toilets, parking spaces or any other space that is designated solely for disabled people.

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 12:48

latetothefisting · 22/12/2024 12:44

it's not illegal to only have gender neutral toilets, as long as they adhere to relevant legislation (i.e. fully enclosed with a hand basin in the same room). Essentially what you see in any small shop or cafe (or portaloos) where there is just one toilet, full stop.

If the toilets consisted of several cubicles and then a joint handwashing space that wouldn't be okay, but OP has confirmed that the current toilets are single occupancy so taking the male and female signs off so they both become gender neutral would be completely legal. Although a lot of people wouldn't be happy with that as a solution either.

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All this to satisfy one person's delusions.

WarmingClothesontheRadiator · 22/12/2024 12:47

healthybychristmas · 22/12/2024 12:45

Nobody is bloody non-binary. It's just a load of rubbish. I couldn't care less about going to the disabled toilets though

And another ableist.

So many posters seem quite happy to post about how discriminatory they are.

WarmingClothesontheRadiator · 22/12/2024 12:45

Scabetty · 22/12/2024 12:44

It is an accessible toilet and I will use it if it is free or if directed by shop staff, which often happens. It is not your facility at all.

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Another ableist poster

healthybychristmas · 22/12/2024 12:45

Nobody is bloody non-binary. It's just a load of rubbish. I couldn't care less about going to the disabled toilets though

Scabetty · 22/12/2024 12:44

verysmellyjelly · 22/12/2024 12:37

@Scabetty If you're not disabled, don't use our facility.

It is an accessible toilet and I will use it if it is free or if directed by shop staff, which often happens. It is not your facility at all.

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 12:44

GoldenLegend · 22/12/2024 12:41

You’re clearly making an issue where there isn’t one because you’re a transphobe. Anyone can use a toilet adapted for disabled people. You don’t have to be disabled. The point is there must be an adapted toilet available.

And you're an ableist.

But more importantly, how does one adapt a toilet for an enby? Half a pink toilet and half blue? Paint it purple? Put pictures of Sam Smith up to help them pee??

latetothefisting · 22/12/2024 12:44

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 12:36

So do something illegal to make person feel better?

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it's not illegal to only have gender neutral toilets, as long as they adhere to relevant legislation (i.e. fully enclosed with a hand basin in the same room). Essentially what you see in any small shop or cafe (or portaloos) where there is just one toilet, full stop.

If the toilets consisted of several cubicles and then a joint handwashing space that wouldn't be okay, but OP has confirmed that the current toilets are single occupancy so taking the male and female signs off so they both become gender neutral would be completely legal. Although a lot of people wouldn't be happy with that as a solution either.

WarmingClothesontheRadiator · 22/12/2024 12:44

Bearsinmotion · 22/12/2024 12:42

I think it's interesting that it's very rare to see gender specific toilets for people with disabilities. Non binary disabled people do exist (in as much as any non binary people exist), but so do male and female people with disabilities but that isn't important when it comes to designing toilets, we're all just bundled in together...

’non binary people’ are male or female.

WarmingClothesontheRadiator · 22/12/2024 12:43

Particlee · 22/12/2024 12:36

Plenty of anecdotes from people who have had the same experience. Just plain transphobia, not a mental health issue.

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It is pure ableism to think you should be entitled to use the disabled toilets due to your belief system.

Bearsinmotion · 22/12/2024 12:42

I think it's interesting that it's very rare to see gender specific toilets for people with disabilities. Non binary disabled people do exist (in as much as any non binary people exist), but so do male and female people with disabilities but that isn't important when it comes to designing toilets, we're all just bundled in together...

DailyEnergyCrisis · 22/12/2024 12:42

Rosbeet · 22/12/2024 10:21

I'm extremely gender critical and I think that is the best solution.

I wouldn't want them in the toilet that's their opposite sex, thwy don't want to be in the toilet that matches their sex.

It's a disabled toilet but also a baby change.

If there's no 'gender neutral ' toilet I think it's the best solution.

And I have a radar key/blue badge

Completely agree with all of this.

verysmellyjelly · 22/12/2024 12:41

GoldenLegend · 22/12/2024 12:41

You’re clearly making an issue where there isn’t one because you’re a transphobe. Anyone can use a toilet adapted for disabled people. You don’t have to be disabled. The point is there must be an adapted toilet available.

The disabled toilets are for disabled people. It's nothing to do with anyone's gender. Should we presume you're posting this because you're an ableist?

GoldenLegend · 22/12/2024 12:41

You’re clearly making an issue where there isn’t one because you’re a transphobe. Anyone can use a toilet adapted for disabled people. You don’t have to be disabled. The point is there must be an adapted toilet available.

verysmellyjelly · 22/12/2024 12:41

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle We are going in circles. I am aware you find "disability" a negative term. I don't. I'm sorry, but the link to a page on the outdated and offensive concept of "registered disabled" is not a compelling argument! I favour more progressive views of disability.

DaphneduMaureen · 22/12/2024 12:40

I’m bored now, cheers guys.