Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

@JubileeJuice The thread is gonna be a rough read. You're totally right, of course.

I haven't read the thread yet but am going to go and do that after posting this.

The disabled toilet is for DISABLED PEOPLE. Believing you are non-binary is not a disability. They should either use the toilet for their biological sex, or bloody campaign for their own damn toilets like us disabled people had to.

Disabled people suffer enough as it is. Leave our toilets alone. It's not fucking hard.

In the meantime, I’m content to live in a world where people get to use the loo that is appropriate and comfortable for them.

Well I'm most people would prefer to use the disabled loo, regardless of how they interact with gender stereotypes. So where does that leave us?

@HocusFord Literally not one thing I've said has minimised your disability. All I've said is that it would impact me to have more and more abled people using disabled toilets. If you argue that abled people using them is okay, then obviously I will think we are in different situations! It's unreasonable for you to expect me to treat our situations as identical. Not doing so doesn't mean I think you are not disabled. I know nothing about you.

I also have every right to be angry about people like you who don't value our hard won rights. I don't really care if that annoys you.

My point is that the OP herself doesn't care, for her this was never about the bathroom,

OP does care; she raised it with her boss.

fact that she literally contradicted herself points to that, because first she said said the person isn't disabled, later she said they're not disabled and they don't consider themselve to have a disability.

’isn’t’ Is a contraction of ‘is not’ and in ‘is not disabled’

Where is the contradiction?

@Tsama Ah, okay, sorry. FWR is Feminism and Women's Rights, which is a board on this site for discussing trans issues, sex and gender, etc. So I was annoyed because I wanted this thread to be more focused on disabled toilets whereas it seemed like it was turning into more of a general argument about the "usual" topics that come up relating to trans stuff. I'm not saying that shouldn't be discussed of course.

I think it's impossible to know OP's opinions. For me it's less about the specific workplace in question as we just can't know for sure, and more about how common it is for abled people to have the view that it's okay to use disabled facilities. It is very very common for the design of a disabled toilet to include the only baby change so I don't personally take issue with OP not seeing that her post was logically inconsistent. But I can see what you're saying.

So what do you do if a disabled person is in the loo before you?

At no point has anyone suggesting chucking our rights away, though you’re obviously very pleased with the phrase. You’re also very keen to minimise my disability despite knowing nothing about it, which would be funny except it’s sad. You ought to be able to accept that we’re not a hegemony, and that me disagreeing with you on this issue doesn’t mean my views are somehow less valid or justified than yours.

If disabled people are being prevented from using the loo because OP’s colleague is occasionally using it, management can resolve it by removing the gendered signage from the other loos. In the meantime, I’m content to live in a world where people get to use the loo that is appropriate and comfortable for them.

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Great job contributing to perpetuating a culture of ableist hate 👍 Remus would be so proud.

@verysmellyjelly
By side of debate I was talking about disabled bathroom, just to make clear, not the lgbt talk.

FWR I have to admit I'm not sure what mean, english isn't my native language.

And ok, I admit I at least helped derail the issue, so for that I do apologize lol.

As for the second part, I agree that parents might not have a choice, but you're missing the point I'm making.

You and a lot of people are ranting about disable bathrooms right and who should use it, which I admit you all make many valid points.

My point is that the OP herself doesn't care, for her this was never about the bathroom, fact that she literally contradicted herself points to that, because first she said said the person isn't disabled, later she said they're not disabled and they don't consider themselve to have a disability.

Seriously, it's pretty clear OP don't really know if they're actually disabled or not, after all if she knew 100% for a fact, why would she contradict herself later?

OP isn' t the hero fighting for disabled rights that you think she is, if it was anyone else using the bathroom this thread wouldn't even exist lol

Your comment is so ignorant.
As a clinician who cares for people with bowel cancer/stomas and the wife of someone who is terminally ill, I can assure you that it is a big deal if someone who does not need to is just ‘using the empty toilet to have a wee’. Part of the point of disabled toilets is that they are for people who as part of their condition, cannot wait as most of us are lucky enough to be able to.
Using disabled loo’s when it’s not an emergency or you don’t need to is so selfish.

I’m talking about ONE person in ONE place - the situation in the OP.

This is getting really boring now, but do carry on talking amongst yourselves if you want to. You’re choosing to see things that I’m not saying.

As I said, ours are labelled ‘inclusive’. As a blue badge holder myself, I use them or the female staff loo, whichever is closest/I can get to.

I have never seen male or female disabled toilets, so not about sex.

@Didshejustsaythatoutloud All manner of invisible problems are currently favoured and must be considered and prioritised! But wheelchair users, sadly for those of us who still need said chairs, are old hat. Fuck us, indeed.

Back to question. Why use a disabled loo if you don't need it? How does a non disabled person know someone else needs it if they're inside doing their business with the door closed?

Just because a disabled parking spot is free at a particular moment, does that mean we can all park up?

@HocusFord Well, you seem very happy for the disabled toilet to become general usage, so I presumed this would not have a major impact on you whether you use it or not. For many of us, it would.

Don't claim the right to chuck our rights away.

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie That literally is what people including you are arguing. You and others want our access to be restricted by making our toilet into just another loo for everyone who fancies it, and that makes it palpably more difficult for many of us.

You have been told this already. You just don't care.

Yeah she is. Meanwhile I wonder what's JKR's Remus Lupin thinks of his biggest groupie? That she'd happily deny a disabled person a usable loo for kicks?

What do you mean it doesn’t affect my disability? That’s not what I said at all. My disability means I do need to use the disabled toilet. I sometimes have to wait for the disabled toilet to be free, which can be a pain but is a fact of life.

I’m just pointing out that nothing OP has said indicates that disabled customers are actually being prevented from using the loo by OP’s colleague using it. If they are, management can address it. OP also doesn’t actually know if her colleague is disabled themselves. They might have an invisible disability they haven’t disclosed to her.

I think it’s weird that OP is monitoring her colleagues’ toilet habits like this, and I think it comes from a place of prejudice against her colleague rather than from a place of concern for people with disabilities.

They're not disabled and shouldn't be allowed use the disabled toilets, end of!

Yeah, but fuck the wheelchair user, eh

And not a single person on here is arguing that you shouldn’t have that right.

It is a toilet for us, disabled people. The only one we can access. We need access to it, sometimes urgently. The more that everyone is encouraged to think it's "just another toilet" the more restricted our access becomes.