Page 13 | Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

DefendingPan · 2024-12-22T10:14:25+00:00

Where I work there’s employee male and female toilets, customer male and female toilets and one customer disabled toilet. This colleague is non-binary, is not disabled, and uses the disabled toilet/ baby change (with their own Radar key) because they “don’t feel comfortable) using either the male or female toilets. I mentioned to my boss that I didn’t think this was appropriate and got accused of transphobia and threatened with discipline. I was made to feel like I was being offensive and discriminatory for bringing it up. We have many elderly customers and many young families who all also need to use it. Was I being unreasonable?

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 22/12/2024 15:39

Mercurial123 · 22/12/2024 10:17

I wouldn't have an issue. I certainly wouldn't report them.

Guess your able bodied then?

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 22/12/2024 15:39

nonbinaryfinery · 22/12/2024 10:18

What would you have them do? Or is this just to stir the pot?

Don't care what anyone does. Just don't fucking use toilets designed for disabled people.
Simple

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 22/12/2024 15:36

Scabetty · 22/12/2024 10:19

As you say the toilets are larger but aren’t just for disabled people so I can’t see an issue. Can you explain the issue you have?

The toilets are made larger and have wee bars to accommodate wheelchair users. Not that difficult to understand really.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 22/12/2024 15:34

Scabetty · 22/12/2024 10:16

What would you suggest they do?

Go anywhere else.!!! The difference is, disabled people have NO choice. FFS

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 15:31

PiperLeo · 22/12/2024 15:07

If I'm correct, I think you're saying that they are using a disabled toilet/baby changing room when they don't physically need to and it has irritated you. Which in all fairness, irritates a lot of us. Same with people who are non disabled parking in a disabled car space or a parent and child space when they have no children with them. The fact that the person is non binary is irrelevant but it's being made big deal of. To solve that problem, management could just remove the male and female symbols from the single toilets and just put "toilet" instead if they are the same. Problem solved and no need for anyone to be using the disabled customer toilet except from customers.

Not really. Because what about customers who want single sex facilities? Why should they give it up for one person? Who's needs trumps who's? Pandering to all this is NOT a solution. It why women all.over the country suddenly have to share previously single sex facilities with blokes who get a kick out of using the ladies. The "just remove the signs" solution solves nothing

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 22/12/2024 15:20

verysmellyjelly
@Didshejustsaythatoutloud All manner of invisible problems are currently favoured and must be considered and prioritised! But wheelchair users, sadly for those of us who still need said chairs, are old hat. Fuck us, indeed.

I guess you would have to have experienced it to understand, depressing eh

///

This

SameAsItEverWas24 · 22/12/2024 15:19

Em4lyf · 22/12/2024 14:59

But if it's not affecting any disabled colleagues then why is it a problem? If there are no unisex toilets other than this one, let this person use it because they feel comfortable in a space that's a gender

In the hierarchy of identities, "gender" always always trumps disability. That's the BeKind era we live in. Basically "fuck them, my needs are more important". ESPECIALLY when those needs are totally made up. A wheelchair user has to wait sorry while a non-binary employee validates themselves on the loo. You can't make it up

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 22/12/2024 15:16

verysmellyjelly · 22/12/2024 14:23

@Didshejustsaythatoutloud All manner of invisible problems are currently favoured and must be considered and prioritised! But wheelchair users, sadly for those of us who still need said chairs, are old hat. Fuck us, indeed.

I guess you would have to have experienced it to understand, depressing eh

fairycakes1234 · 22/12/2024 15:10

JubileeJuice · 22/12/2024 14:32

I haven't read the thread yet but am going to go and do that after posting this.

The disabled toilet is for DISABLED PEOPLE. Believing you are non-binary is not a disability. They should either use the toilet for their biological sex, or bloody campaign for their own damn toilets like us disabled people had to.

Disabled people suffer enough as it is. Leave our toilets alone. It's not fucking hard.

Totally agree

PiperLeo · 22/12/2024 15:07

If I'm correct, I think you're saying that they are using a disabled toilet/baby changing room when they don't physically need to and it has irritated you. Which in all fairness, irritates a lot of us. Same with people who are non disabled parking in a disabled car space or a parent and child space when they have no children with them. The fact that the person is non binary is irrelevant but it's being made big deal of. To solve that problem, management could just remove the male and female symbols from the single toilets and just put "toilet" instead if they are the same. Problem solved and no need for anyone to be using the disabled customer toilet except from customers.

WarmingClothesontheRadiator · 22/12/2024 15:03

Em4lyf · 22/12/2024 15:01

But they do consider themselves in need of an a gender space maybe the workplace should create a unisex toilet then the problem would be solved??

Making the men’s toilet into a unisex toilet seems sensible in this case.

JubileeJuice · 22/12/2024 15:02

verysmellyjelly · 22/12/2024 14:33

@JubileeJuice The thread is gonna be a rough read. You're totally right, of course.

Yeah, you weren't wrong.

Em4lyf · 22/12/2024 15:01

But they do consider themselves in need of an a gender space maybe the workplace should create a unisex toilet then the problem would be solved??

WarmingClothesontheRadiator · 22/12/2024 15:01

Em4lyf · 22/12/2024 14:59

But if it's not affecting any disabled colleagues then why is it a problem? If there are no unisex toilets other than this one, let this person use it because they feel comfortable in a space that's a gender

The other toilets are also a gender. Their use is based on sex not gender. A male of any gender is welcome to use the male toilets.

Tsama · 22/12/2024 15:01

verysmellyjelly · 22/12/2024 14:57

@whoputallofthatthere OP has said they don't consider themselves disabled.

Which means they might have disability but simply don't consider themselves disabled.

Like a few posters in this discussion

Hairyesterdaygonetoday · 22/12/2024 15:00

@DefendingPan , thanks for trying to protect facilities for disabled people, while your colleague chooses to disregard them and your boss threatens you. It takes courage.

Em4lyf · 22/12/2024 14:59

Why?

Tsama · 22/12/2024 14:59

@WarmingClothesontheRadiator
I find this a very ironic post considering your other views.

Says the person who call trans "mutilated" and talk about the eeeeevil trans groups who try to turn gay people into trans

Also, "other views", which I assume are assumptions pulled out of your ass since I barely gave my views

Says the ableist

Right because one justifies the other, oh wait, no it doesn't

Em4lyf · 22/12/2024 14:59

But if it's not affecting any disabled colleagues then why is it a problem? If there are no unisex toilets other than this one, let this person use it because they feel comfortable in a space that's a gender

verysmellyjelly · 22/12/2024 14:58

Em4lyf · 22/12/2024 14:57

But is it actually affecting people? I'm able bodied and cis gender and I've nipped into the disabled toilet when there's been big queues and no disabled folks have needed it. It's really not a big deal unless it's actively preventing disabled people from using the facilities.

Yes, it is a big deal and you shouldn't do it.

verysmellyjelly · 22/12/2024 14:57

@whoputallofthatthere OP has said they don't consider themselves disabled.

Em4lyf · 22/12/2024 14:57

But is it actually affecting people? I'm able bodied and cis gender and I've nipped into the disabled toilet when there's been big queues and no disabled folks have needed it. It's really not a big deal unless it's actively preventing disabled people from using the facilities.

WarmingClothesontheRadiator · 22/12/2024 14:57

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verysmellyjelly · 22/12/2024 14:57

@Em4lyf Who do you think is being transphobic? You haven't quoted or tagged anyone

whoputallofthatthere · 22/12/2024 14:56

I can't say this would bother me, provided the person isn't taking ages in there and blocking the facilities for people who need them. For all you know they may have an actual disability - people aren't always comfortable talking to their colleagues about these things.

I've worked at my office for around 15 years and I would say only 2-3 of my colleagues know that I have a serious health condition. Most of my colleagues who have known me for many years would probably be astonished to see me using disabled facilities (although I am perfectly entitled to do so) as my disability is an "invisible" one.