DP not wanting to drive my DD to hospital to say goodbye to her dying dad

What a vile piece of shit. I hope you dump him. Your relationship is over. Your dd will never forgive him.

He’s pretty heartless but other means of transport exist

I couldn’t forgive him talking to my dd like that though. So the relationship would be over for me

Oh so your staying with him then? He's been unimaginably cruel to your child but you've got a 'stand by your man' mindset?

Why are some people focusing on him being the only driver? That's not the fucking point. He's an arsehole and I'd leave the twat.

Exactly what I was just thinking. I can’t get my head around his cruelty. Your poor DD.

Mumsnet is very weirdly anti non-drivers (and I say that as someone who does drive), so I'm not surprised someone has brought it up already. But your DP is a heartless bastard. I can understand if he was a bit fed up being the taxi driver for weeks, but now is NOT the time to bring it up. I would be seriously reconsidering the relationship.

No I am not being funny but you need to leave this man.

How could the right man for you POSSIBLY be someone who made your daughter cry (even more) on the morning of her father’s death, called her a “little girl” to her face in a derogatory way and then made you and her get back from the hospital alone after she has seen her dad for the last time?!

Fair enough it’s probably been annoying for him having to do all the driving but for fuck’s sake there’s no excuse. You genuinely cannot keep seeing this man. It would be such a betrayal for your daughter.

Oh for gods sake don't feel bad for him. He abused your daughter while her Dad was dying. If you stay with him know it will affect your relationship with her forever.

If I were you I would have told him to move out as soon as I got home. What an arsehole.

Sorry for Dds sad loss.
DPs timing for his outburst was terrible but it’s not on to treat him like a chauffeur. And he could well have been thinking of DDs welfare wanting to avoid her witnessing a death. Being forced to do something he felt would harm her must have been infuriating. Could you not have asked a friend to drive her, or got a taxi?

TBH being used as a chauffeur for your entire family would piss me off no end. Why don't you or your DS drive FGS? And why can't you use taxis, if not? But you're right that yesterday wasn't the day to make a stand.

Oh my good lord. Absolute depths of humanity.

The more I read on MN the more I can't understand the state of the world today and how selfish people are!

You've been together 7 years, an established, long-term relationship. It was six weeks of driving. To visit the dying father of his step-children, whom he has known for 7 years. Although he was your ex-h, I am sure this was upsetting for you also (I don't know the backstory but even just on behalf of your children losing their father so young).

Yes your 'D'P might have been annoyed about all the lifts he was asked to do within the last 6 weeks but the day her father was dying was not the day to kick off about it (if he was really such a twat that he felt he needed to say anything at all).

Honestly, you need to bin him off. Seven years together with you and part of your family and this is how he treats your 16-year-old child on the day her father dies? Your daughter deserves better.

He's showing you who he is OP

Bin him and book yourself some driving lessons. He’s not a kind person and has made a very upsetting situation all about himself with no consideration for what your poor dc are going through. Never give someone like that any element of control / power over you because they will abuse it as and when they feel like it.

People say the wrong thing at the wrong time so it depends if he usually makes things about him or withholds stuff, saying that it sounds like he’s done a lot for you and everything is highly charged when someone is terminally I’ll so I don’t know

Jesus Christ.

Really!!??

I can't imagine ever being annoyed at that time at being the only driver, it's no excuse AT ALL. I'd drive my neighbour to hospital for weeks if their loved one was dying never mind a step child. I don't think I could be with someone who lacked empathy towards my child at such a time.

You should have taken your daughter by taxi. However I couldn’t get past what he said so relationship would be over for me.

Leave the twat

I’d drive a stranger off the street to say goodbye to their father.

You should have taken her yourself and avoided her exposure to this absolute bastard. Last thing she needed.

What a horrible man. The death of your father will be imprinted on your brain and having your step dad do that on the morning of his death! I am lost for words but absolutely know this would be the end for me. He shown his true colours and has zero empathy. What a pathetic human moaning about a lift and being inconvenienced by a 16 year old about to say good bye to her dad. I mean at the first grumbles I would have ordered my daughter an uber/asked a friend. I hope your children are ok.