DP not wanting to drive my DD to hospital to say goodbye to her dying dad

This is what I think.
You have been way overly reliant on him, if you can't drive then you need to sort out a taxi or get public transport sometimes.
He was obviously pissed off with all the chauffeuring - however, you're right that this was not the time to raise it.

It was awful what he said.

You don’t live together, so how involved are you as a family? Some posters have called him stepdad, does he have that role or is he just your partner?

Has he experienced loss where he was traumatised by being by the bedside of someone dying?

First response as always nailed it. He’s a cunt. He’s shown you who he is; believe him and dump him. Don’t be considering how when you’ve passed your test you can “pay him back with lifts”. Fuck sake-he’s not worth it. Put your children first.

Why didn't he want to drive?

First time I’ve ever said it on MN; LTB!!!!!!!! Unforgivable. You DD will never forget this, ever.

Well he has just ruined any potential happy future relationship with your daughter. Anytime she thinks of her father she will remember this sulky bad behaviour. He’s made an indelible link in her mind and in that of your son and of course yourself.
Sorry, OP. 💐

You don’t have to explain any of that. Any normal person would take their Step Daughter to see their dying Dad. I’d take my neighbour who I barely speak to, your DPs behaviour is outrageous.

Similarly my exh complained at ferrying me to see dgm over 6 weeks... When she died he went ballistic that I refused to ask her dd for fuel costs.... Our relationship didn't last much longer... True colours op. Their true colours. Ltb and don't look back..

Op had already said that her driving test is next month.

OP has said upthread that she has her test next month.

I think a lot of people (particularly those who have been driving a long time), forget/aren't aware of how bloody expensive learning to drive is now. Where I am the CHEAPEST instructor is £40 an hour. Even just one two hour lesson a week would be £320 a month. Then a test itself is £120. Then the cost of running a car... for many it is completely unaffordable.

No it wasn't his esponsibility but any decent person would do it in a heartbeat and put their own feelings aside.

Sorry for your loss op.
Give dp the petrol money and then tell him it’s over.

All the treating him like a chauffeur comments, ffs. He's a member of their family supposedly. Family are supposed to support each other in whichever means is necessary when they are going through the hardest points of their life. He also doesn't get to determine and decide if it will affect a 16 year old to see their dad die. That was her decision solely. Who the hell would sit home and let their 16 year old stepdaughter who is upset and about to lose her dad, take a taxi to the hospital.

Personally I couldn’t get past this. I couldn’t love someone who was so cruel.

Yesterday was not the day to be expressing any resentment. And no day was the day to speak to your daughter so cruelly.

Im sorry for your and especially your DC’s loss.

Try reading all the OP's replies before you reply to a thread for gods sake.

He was a massive cunt OP and I doubt your dd will ever forgive him. I'm so glad you don't live with him, makes it much easier to move on.

This is one of the worst things I've read on here.
Your poor daughter, I hope she's ok

Why do women stay with men who can behave this way?
Quite a lot of the time I look at posts and think “Gosh, what would I do?”
but something like this is so far outside the bounds of how my husband (as a normal, decent human male) would behave.
For the sake of your DD you need to reconsider your relationship with this man, she won’t forget this.

You don't live with him - he is your boyfriend and it sounds like he has spent the last 6 weeks ferrying people to the hospital and back. I imagine yesterday he was told he was doing it regardless of his own ideas for his day.

It's a shame he couldn't bite his tongue for one more day knowing it would be the last but I imagine he reached the end of his tether

Rather than ditching him as many previous posters have suggested I would say that you as a family have been through an extraordinary amount of stress the last 6 weeks and this has strained your relationship - but it is over now.

I think blaming your boyfriend for adding to your daughters stress is probably just deflecting your and her anger at her dad dying onto your boyfriend. She was going to visit her dying dad - I can't imagine she gave much of a shit if the driver was grumbling. It was never his responsibility to facilitate that visit.

Your boyfriend is a person too in his own right not an employee so if you want to continue to see him I would suggest you phone him - tell him that the last couple of months have been stressful buy it's now over and you are sorry for the strain it has put on your relationship. I think he did a lot that he didn't have to do - for you.

You might find that your boyfriend wants to end the relationship after the last few days anyway.

He was being unreasonable given the circumstances, but why are you all relying on him? Two grown adults and a 16yo should be able to organise travel by themselves.

Why don't you or your son drive? What are you doing to put that right? Why couldn't you get a cab?

Maybe your dp doesn't like hospitals- who does! Maybe there was somewhere else he wanted to be. How many times had he already had to run you back and forth? You don't live together so you aren't a family unit.

If you rely on him all the time, I can easily see why he is fed up.

That’s unforgivable. What an absolute cunt

Absolutely dump his arse.

What a cunt.

I do not give a shit that he thinks he’s a taxi driver. Her dad was dying and what a way to speak to your child when her dad is dying. How to make it about him? Yeah not about the fact that the Dad is dying. I’m sorry but that is absolutely disgusting. My mouth dropped wide open. How could he have even said that?

What an awful, awful man. You and your daughter deserve better. My dad passed away recently, my partner can't drive and he left work immediately to get a bus, train and taxi to be with me. If your partner had any care for you and your daughter he would have taken her without question as many times as she needed. I'm so sorry for your son and daughters loss x

He is a monumentally awful man to behave like that. I’d drive through hell and high water to get anyone to visit a dying relative. Nevermind the child of a partner. Your first reply gets it right.

leave him behind.