DP not wanting to drive my DD to hospital to say goodbye to her dying dad

But these people aren't strangers, this is his partners daughter who has been in his life for 7 years.

Your ‘D’P is a cruel and nasty man. Give yourself and your DC a great Christmas present by dumping him. He doesn’t care about your DD and he certainly doesn’t care about you. Nobody with any compassion would act like that. You’d be much better off away from this man.

It will also help ameliorate your DD’s memories of her DF’s passing. Yes, she’ll remember the words of this cruel bastard but that will be counteracted by how you stood up for her and dumped him.

This.

WTF!?

Did you start drinking before breakfast today?

Out of interest OP how many times has your boyfriend done the 2/3/4 hour round trip to the hospital in the last 6 weeks?

I F'ing would and I don't even bloody know them. Anyone that wouldn't and would complain about it is an asshat and deserves a double portion of hell.

Would you drive them backwards and forwards for 6 weeks? Half hour there, wait an hour or two or three and half an hour back.

Would you continue to accommodate them when they needed to go NOW regardless of your own need to be at work or if you had plans of your own.

If you say that you would I will assume that you are lying or have absolutely no responsibilities of your own.

There is no coming back from that. Leave that selfish and immature 'man'.

He made this all about him and threw a tantrum when your kids must have been so, so upset to lose their father within such a short period of time. What a terrible shock to them.

The fact that a grown man could watch an already upset girl cry her eyes out because she might not be able to say goodbye to her dying father because he was whining about driving is beyond the pale.

'@Edingril
He is you chauffeur not your partner, so maybe he has a point?'

Complete empathy bypass...frankly you should be ashamed of yourself for posting this.

'@OnlyMabelInTheBuilding
Why don’t any of you drive?'

Missing the point entirely.

Your poor DD. Describing a teenager who wants to see her father because he only has hours to live as a 'little girl' 'dictating' to people is absolutely appalling. I don't drive but I wouldn't think twice about giving taxi fare to an acquaintance in that situation if they needed it, never mind a family member.

He made an already traumatic situation even worse. Heartless. I couldn't stay with him after that.

Really Way to miss the point. The kids dad is dying suck it up. I have neighbours that have caused me legal troubles also serious they are just dicks. If they came to my gate and said my dad is dying I need a lift I would drive where ever they needed and wait for them. That is being a decent human being. Kindness is free and when you have a relationship with the people you wait in the waiting room you offer to get food or you have something nice for them waiting. People remember that stuff.

Stop calling this man a stepfather. He's not.

I can’t believe you would ever want to see him again after doing this to your daughter.

Yes yes yes. Thank god there are some reasonable and good people on here. I am appalled at the number of people who have any sympathy for this awful man child throwing a hissy fit and refusing to take a child to see their father on his death bed. My god. This thread has shaken me to the core

Oh and everyone saying he had a point, you are awful human beings.

Fucking hell. What have I just read?

He is your partner you’re a team, has massively let you and DD down in my opinion

He's not her step dad. He's her mother's boyfriend. Terrible behaviour regardless of what he is though.

Very disturbing.

Does he constantly get called on to drive your and your DD around? How do you manage with your job?
I agree that his timing wasn’t great, to say the least, and his words to your DD were unkind but what was the precursor to this argument? He doesn’t live with you so before he came round had you already asked him for a lift or did you wait until he arrived before you asked him? Did he then collect you from the hospital later?

Are you for real?

SEVEN YEARS this appalling man has been in their lives and he feels burdened by driving back and forth for 6 weeks whilst his step kids father is dying?

And then throws a strop on the eve of the man's death.

And you think there is even an ounce of reasonable about him?

Fuck me has the world descended to a new low.

A former colleague of mine was in your position. Her new (female, for clarity) partner was awful and unhelpful about the dying ex (male) partner even when he was alive, and extremely unkind to her grieving step daughter. She made absolutely everything about her, refused to help with anything practical or emotional, made inheritance conversations a complete nightmare, etc etc etc. It absolutely wrecked their relationship, they didn’t last another year. It had a really bad effect on the grieving child who really felt like nobody was on her side. I honestly think it says a lot about your partner that he’d behave like this at a time like this.

Unbelievably and unnecessarily cruel. There is no coming back from this.

I would drive a complete stranger 30 mins drive if it meant they could see their dying parent.

unless there is a huge backstory of abuse from your ex-DH or another there is just simply no excuse.

Love to your DD and DS, losing a parent so close to Christmas is deeply traumatic.

OP you keep talking about your driving tests. PLEASE do not stay with this man. He used the absolute worst day of your daughter’s life to exert control and be an asshole.

it will be the undoing of your entire family if you stay with him

That is really unforgivable. Your poor DD will remember that forever and possibly hate him. Honestly you have a very hard road ahead. Love to you and your kids I can't imagine their pain and yours watching their pain. Hugs

she Is clearly staying with him as she keeps ignoring the leave him comments and responds about booking a driving test. Your poor daughter.