DP not wanting to drive my DD to hospital to say goodbye to her dying dad

Me too. I don’t think it’s unusual to have a decent level of compassion for another human being at a difficult time. Unless you’re the OPs partner.

Whilst he may have been fed up with the constant driving you all around this was completely unacceptable behaviour. He has shown his true colours to you. Focus on your children who will need you more than ever now and it’s probably time to take a good hard look at your relationship and decide whether this is the sort of person you want in your and your children’s lives. Just remember, children no matter what their age, learn about healthy relationships by those modelled to them. Would you find this acceptable behaviour if it was the partner of your daughter behaving this way?

His behaviour was awful but bottom line is that it’s was and is your responsibility not his. He is not the parent nor your taxi driver.

So many dripfeeds. The DM will love this thread.

Her daughter is only 16 and op is taking driving lessons. They're expensive and a car can be expensive to keep so maybe she's only recently been able to start learning.

This.

Wanker. Leave him. Your daughter will remember his behaviour and the cold, callous thing he said for the rest of her life. I don't know why any of you don't drive, but the way he handled that and his timing was awful. Relationship-breaking stuff in my view.

I assume there are taxis or Ubers in your area? Two of you are adults presumably with credit cards, can’t you organise transport yourself. Why do you make yourself dependent on this man?

You should've intervened before your DD cried and begged. As soon as your boyfriend said no, you should've told your DD that you would book a taxi and go with her. Dump this dick head. Don't marry him. Your poor daughter. She lost her dad and panicked that she wouldn't be able to get to the hospital in time to say goodbye.

OP/ her DC were told to get to the hospital ASAP. So presumably every minute counted.

If you were in that situation and you didn't drive, would you want to be calling round mini cab firms hoping someone could get a taxi to you in the next 5 mins? Or be relying on public transport? Risking getting there too late?

And would you really want to be with a partner that would be happy to sit back and watch you do that, instead of saying "jump in the car, of course I'll take you"?

I get he might be pissed off at feeling like a chauffeur. But to make an issue of it when a 16yo's dad is literally dying is unforgivable.

He has behaved disgracefully. Perhaps he doesn't like not being the centre of attention

I am sorry for your children’s loss.
I think this is a classic ‘pick your moment’ scenario.
He is probably mightily fed up with being a taxi driver for you for the last 6 weeks when you don’t even live together, as that’s quite a commitment, but this was the very worse time for him to make his stand.
When we got ‘that’ call from the hospital for my DH last year we had 3 neighbours willing to drop everything to drive us an hour’s journey and wait with us as long as necessary. (We would do the same for them if necessary.)
I think you will find it hard to move past this. If he was genuinely concerned about your daughter seeing her father die then maybe there is a glimmer of hope if you want it.

He takes my DD to hospital appointments sometimes, she has a heart condition so needs to go every 6 months for ecg and scan.

I hate when MNers are judgemental of people who choose not to drive but this is absolute madness.

You have a child who has a heart condition who needs to regularly go to the hospital and she also really struggles getting into a car with a stranger or on public transport, but you’ve still not got your license or pushed her to get hers.

You’ve relied on this man for 7 years, you don’t live together and as this has proven if he doesn’t do it then you’re all pretty screwed.

Please keep trying to pass your test as you do not want you or your kids having to rely on a man for lifts.

Aside from that, I think you being in a state of panic and it bringing up a traumatic experience for him did bring out the worst in him.

However, this isn’t something that I could forget and staying together is only going to cause resentment.

How come if you are "fed up of being a taxi service" you are allowed to shout at a 16 year old whose father is about to die? That's ok with some posters then is it? It's "understandable"? Is it ok for everyone, or just penis privilege? Massive free pass to behave like a cunt for this guy?

Is there a physical reason you didn't read OP's posts before replying?

Sounds like he bent over backwards for you all and assumed his taxi duties were over once Ex passed away and being asked again was the final straw.

Only you know if he is a good guy or bad guy but either way, it's about time you all learned how to drive and stop expecting to be chauffeured everywhere or start getting Taxi's.

I'm sorry but that would be game over for me.

Good luck with passing your test.

There’s so many issues that are posted here that could be resolved by adults being able to drive. Glad you’re trying op as you really need to leave this man! So many posters claim not driving isn’t an issue for them but for most people it makes life a lot harder.

Because "the girl" is only 16, and "he" is a fully grown adult?

The empathy is just oozing out of you 🙄

This was not the time for him to have a strop. He could have had a quiet word with you about taxis or alternative arrangements.
You're daughter will never forgive him. And by extension, will judge you if you stay with him.
I'm glad he doesn't live with you. Presumably your son will come and live with you now. Your children need your full focus and support over the coming months.

Its not fucking goodwill... they are engaged (fairly normal not be accused of being a CF for getting a lift to the hospital for your sick child or in an emergency from the person you are MARRYING) and its an emergency short term situation where someone is DYING.

CF is a acquaintance asking you to drive 15 minutes in the wrong direction twice daily 5 days a week for years to drop their kid off at school while offering nothing of value to your life not you partner doing basic things.

Awful behaviour, in relation to anyone who is minutes/hours away from a massive bereavement, never mind a 16 year old girl.
Where's the support? Where's the 'partnership?'
He gave her a lift. Big bloody deal.
I'd be furious

That's one of the most selfish things I have ever read on here.
He made it all about him .
Your poor daughter