DD has regifted something to me for my birthday which has been lying around the house for 3 years

This is a good way to handle it.
Getting angry won't solve anything, and it seems like a lack of thought or bad budgeting rather than deliberate malice.
Probably not worth asking for the money back though as its already gone!

There are some incredibly low expectations of 13 year olds on this thread 😬

If she can choose nice presents for her aunt and for her friends, she can do the same for her mum - the fact that she can afford to take OP the cinema means she clearly hasn't run out of money, either.

When I was that age, I was expected to save my pocket money for presents. Obviously nobody expected me to spend loads - but I was expected to budget and think ahead, as were all my friends. I have vivid memories of going into town with my best mate at 13 and we would do all our shopping together before treating ourselves to a McDonald's

Get a life you’re just being horrible

But OP hasn’t caused drama or had a strop.

What if daughter does the same thing next year as her mother appreciated it so much? It would be so much worse to have to explain it was all an act.

Well done. You 100 per cent did the right thing

Plastic shit from Clinton’s Cards - MY FAVOURITE!

I remember one year my teenager sister gave me a bra in her size and dome chocolates I don't like. Teens are, well teens.

NRFT

As its pre Christmas and you know already I'd be like "where's my xxxx? I had it on my desk, it's been living there for years, I love it."

I'd also maybe be petty and take her bedside lamp and wrap it up for her. But it is a bit unkind when I don't think she's meaning to disrespect you, she's just a bit thoughtless and ran out if money BT the sounds of it. It's easiest to fudge something with mum in these circumstances because you have her unconditional love and she knows all your imperfections. Friendships on the other hand are delicate.

As a 13 year old I would assume she may have struggled with ideas / budgeting / importance. So I would take the opportunity to approach the subject in a nicer way and explain to her. Maybe show her how to budget and gift value depending on importance of the individual.

To be fair most mothers generally are forgotten about and we end up as an afterthought. Or that we don't mind. You are not the first and not the last to experince this.

@Thepeopleversuswork try to ignore nasty posters.

Teens can be thoughtless but this isn't nice. I'd have been hurt too.

Does dd get on ok with your OH? Just wondered if she's getting back at you somehow for changing the living arrangements?

LOL, my oldest who is 19 last year completely forgot to send me a birthday present in her first term at uni (she claims she sent a card but it never showed up), This year she claims she sent a present but that also never showed up – I do believe she did but I suspect she didn’t put the right postage on it because as a Gen Z it’s alien to her to go into the post office and ask how much you need to pay so she just sticks random stamps on things. I just found it funny and teased her about it. I didn’t take it as a sign of something terribly wrong with our relationship and if she done it when she was 13, I would’ve been even more forgiving. Teenagers do dumb things. If she does it again next year there will be trouble though … OP, sounds like you’re just being a bit oversensitive, and it also sounds like you’ve resolved things anyway so don’t worry

Yes but it’s about HOW you teach.

You don’t teach by causing drama and having a strop over a gift. Using overly emotive language like the OP has done. That’s shaming.

You teach by appreciating the gift given, and next year make sure the DC is supported when creating their list, expectations of who should be given a gift set, help with budgeting and taking to the shops.

I did RTFT. The comment you refer to doesn’t say ‘I gave her £50 for my birthday gift’ and also doesn’t say ‘I never make her do a chore I just throw money at her’ so stop making OP the bad guy. Teenagers can be thoughtful ffs

This is what I would do too. In lots of layers so it takes a while to open.

I think you have done all the right things. Teenagers can be thoughtless, but I think now you have pointed it out she will remember for next time. Ignore the horrible comments on here, some people just sit on this site waiting to make a mean comment.

I'd just wrap something up from around your house and give her that for Christmas. You can give her the real gifts later but it will be a good prank and make the point.

I’m genuinely surprised people think YABU.

Every Christmas and Mother’s Day, and at regular intervals for birthdays, there’s threads from posters who are disappointed at the lack of partners thought in their gifts (or their no gifts at all) and people usually agree it’s unfair.

If it’s alright to give things around the house as a gift at 13 then at what age does it become thoughtless?

A big part of parenting is teaching your children etiquette and social cues, should OP have just left her daughter thinking this is totally okay and appropriate, and if so and the daughter kept doing it, how many years before it’s okay for OP to say something?

I don't agree with this, I have always been thoughtful in my gifts for others including my children and make sure that they buy thoughtful gifts for my ex and help me choose things for their grandparents. I would be upset if they did not reciprocate- it's not about expense but thought and care.

OP I would get someone else to have a word with her.

Yeah it’s insane isn’t it. The number of adults piling on and carping on about shitty boxes of chocolates…

Slap in the face? Hardly

Some people chose drama, some don’t.

This was a small issue, and if blame is being placed anywhere- it’s that it’s a parenting fail not that of a young teen.

A young teen who we are just finding out, has had her mothers partner move in 18 months ago.

I think we need to stop focusing on the child and more so on the parent who is causing drama over this.

The original post by the OP says she gave the teenager a budget for Christmas shopping and her birthday - RTFT. The issue here is about understanding how money is earned and spent, the rest is focusing on small details and not the fundamental and underlying issue. As are pointless threads digging out teenagers.