DD has regifted something to me for my birthday which has been lying around the house for 3 years

Sounds like she already gave the things to OP several years ago, so no this isn't the same

It's not her money though, it's money OP gave her to buy thoughtful gifts. So to run out before getting to her mum and not even make something new for her (which I assume would be well received) is not ok and needs to be addressed now, not 'for next year'

It does show a lack of care. Presumably she ran out of money buying for other people, didn’t know what to do about your birthday, and thought ‘I know, I made these so I’ll just re-give them’. It would feel a bit crap like you weren’t worth the effort to plan for and that a lazy afterthought is good enough.

I couldn't get worked up about this tbh.

Not quite sure of the situation.

She made some things.

They therefore were hers?

She has now gifted them to you so they are yours.

My mum has given me presents before now of things she has made that are in her house. (Quilts, hangings, cushions etc).

She also gave my DD some earrings for her birthday that are family heirlooms.

Did she think that you would like them to belong to you?

Has she spent all her money and mismanaged it but wanted to give you something?

You can talk to her about budgeting for next year.

Hand back and say ‘I wasn’t born yesterday love’

Budgeting is hard but she needs to learn. Probably thinks she can get away with it with you.

If an adult did this to another adult, it would not be well-received. Therefore I think it is fair enough to explain to your DD why this isn't good enough and to help her think of an alternative present. It will help to teach her about appropriate gifts and reinforce that you too are deserving of care and respect, just as her aunt and her friends apparently are.

I don't think it is grabby of you to be upset by this, particularly given that you have provided your DD with resources for presents and have clearly reinforced at other times that you value home-made things too. It isn't the home-made that's the problem but the re-gifting of an item already given to you or already in the house. This is a learning opportunity for her that could benefit your relationship with her and her relationships with others in future.

If you have a partner I'd be asking them to have a gentle word with her.

Otherwise I'm afraid you'll have to do it.

She's only 13 n prob not thinking straight......but clearly she's happy to organise a thoughtful present for others

This is just really odd. I'd actually laugh it off. Thank you darling but this are already my things. You know that presents need to be something new.

If you weren't able to get to the shops or have time then you should have asked me for a lift. It's OK to not to get something but as you know we gave you money to buy presents for my birthday and Christmas. So I will need that money back.

And then go and have a lovely day

Yanbu, but this is something I'd get to someone else to talk to her about. Is her Dad around? Or her aunt could talk to her about this?