DD has regifted something to me for my birthday which has been lying around the house for 3 years

If she’s left mum to last that’s because she knows (or thought she knew) that mum would understand.
That’s a reflection of a good secure relationship - she knows there is no risk of losing mum’s love.
Her relationships with her friends are important to her but not unconditional like with mum so she prioritised them.

I'm going to be that 'more info needed' poster. Has she had money from you for presents in previous years? What happened then? is the expectation clear that she goes out and buys you a present?

Tbh I think tying gifts to perceived appreciation with children this age is not ideal and fraught with pitfalls. So I'm also going to ask what she's like otherwise. If your relationship's otherwise good, I wouldn't place any meaning on this. I'd laugh and say 'ah, ran out of money?' and that's be the end of it. Next year I'd remind her (again laughingly) to leave a bit over for me (and perhaps mention something inexpensive that I'd quite like).

It is her money, it was given to her.

She’s been given money specifically to buy gifts for everyone, tho. Sounds
like she has left mum’s presents til last and run out of money. Time to prioritise with a chat about budgeting, maybe?

This exactly!! I think you're expecting a lot from her to manage this and then be upset when it doesn't work.

In our house she would have the piss taken out of her for years.

Maybe she has got you a bigger present for Christmas if your birthday is really close to Christmas. My birthday and my DH’s are close to Christmas and we often get joint presents . People are a bit hard up this time of year. Can you talk to her about it ?

I’d laugh tbh & forget about it.
In 10 years time you’ll both laugh about it together.

This! She’s made a rookie error. Doesn’t mean she’s going to turn into a thoughtless dick.

What you CAN do OP is give her a lesson on graciously accepting a present.
Do you REALLY want to embarrass her at Christmas?

Honestly, some of these replies!

Perfect.

I would find it funny!

I'd probably give my DC a hug and say thanks and remind them how much I love the items, and we might chat about when they made them etc.. bring back some memories :)

Nothing to get offended or worked up by!

At 13, that's awful. Id talk to her.

As other PPs have said, there may have been a reason (over spent on other gifts, disorganised etc) but there are consequences of being this thoughtless (or shitty) in adult life that could cause (even) more significant hurt and fall-out. She needs to be brought up on it now so that she understands you simply don’t do this. If you have a DP or if there is a exH, they need to have a word.

As others have said this is a good teaching opportunity. Gently tell her that gift giving allows you to tell the person that you care about them and thought about what they like, even if you end up getting it wrong.

Tell her that you feel that although she did think to give you a gift she didn’t seem to put much care or effort into it.

She’s old enough to have a conversation like this.

You haven't mentioned a present for her Dad so I'm guessing he isn't around? Someone else should be supporting her in getting a gift for you, do you have a DP? Is the Aunt your DSIS, would she not assist?

I agree with pp, she spent too much on everyone else and ran out of money. Did you not supervise her purchases for her friends and Aunt to make sure she didn't overspend? 13 is young to budget and manage money on your own.

She’s 13.. It would be different if it was an adult but she’s a child who probably lost track of her spending.

I wonder why she did this. Is she unhappy with you and trying to make a point? Or did she run out of money and panic? It’d be interesting to know.

No, I won’t, because it literally doesn’t matter.
It’s just another day when you’re an adult.
My mum has never expected anything from us I don’t expect anything from my kids.
My MIL used to get FIL to ring DH if he hadn’t been to see her before work on her birthday- I will never be that woman.
edit to add- I’d rather my kids just come and visit me regularly when grown up like we do than a forced visit because it’s one of our birthdays. Love and care is spontaneous.

Some folk don't place much emphasis on presents though, and that's fine.

It’s hard when you do so much for your kids then they do something like this. I agree maybe getting someone to have a word with her.

She has a budget because she has to visit you things this comes across as

What my child does for me on events is up to them, maybe by giving her a budget and doing what she did she is sending you a message

I think I'd ask if we're doing re-cycled gifts this year and, if so, does she want to choose items from around the house for you to give her or if she's happy for you to make the choice.

You'll be the mum in 20 years upset because her son 'forgot' her birthday for the 20th year in a row. We can teach our kids better than this. It's not about 'stuff' it's about showing care and appreciation.

Oh I’d laugh this off.
It really doesn’t matter, my kids will pick us up a chocolate bar or pack of biscuits from the Co-op you don’t need a carefully thought out present from a child - that they think enough to acknowledge the day is enough.

This sounds like the sort of thing your DD may have decided to do in a panic. They may have wanted to get you something, but ran out of time or money, or tried but couldn't find anything, and then panicked because they didn't want to have nothing to give you.

So this might be an opportunity to talk to her about the appropriate way to communicate when things don't go to plan and you're upset about letting someone down. Be gentle and talk to her to find out what happened.