DD has regifted something to me for my birthday which has been lying around the house for 3 years

Then it’s even more so not about the actual money spent but more so that it is the thought that counts! If she can be thoughtful and considerate for others gifts she can do it for her mum too!

Of course it's not dramatic. Op's daughter is 13, not 3. I would understand your viewpoint if the daughter had no money/hadn't bought for anyone else. However, the daughter has bought gifts for aunt and friends (with money Op gave her! ) but not her mum which is a bit of a slap in the face. Obviously she's capable of being able to buy gifts. Even a box of chocolates would have been fine. It's not the present it's the thought and clearly Op's "d"d doesn't think much about her mum.

I don't see why not, OP had originally given her dd money to buy her and others a present, so dd hopefully still has the money.
No big deal though if dd admits she overspent her budget and doesn't have the money.

This thread took me back to xmas Christmas shopping at Woolworth's in the sixties when I was around 9 or ten. One year I remember giving my dad a hack saw, and my mum got a packet of pink plastic hair rollers. They both appeared over the moon to receive those gifts! Another year, they were equally pleased with him and her cotton hanky sets! These sets were very popular all year round and sold everywhere, but are a thing of the past now (along with a Woolworths in every town).
All paid for by saving my meagre pocket money for weeks before though.

Wow. So this is about your return on investment. The return (or potential) comes years later and sometimes never. Didn’t anyone tell you that you shouldn’t give to receive? I think this shows your manners are somewhat lacking. Your DD is still a child.

I’d wait to see if she offers to pay at the cinema: she says she’s taking you out, which means she should be making it up to you and footing the bill.

Otherwise she’s wriggling out of it again.

I think it’s shocking behaviour. My mother wouldn’t have accepted it at all and she was the least materialistic person on the planet.

All those people excusing her for being thoughtless, what did they learn as teenagers then? My Dad or a family friend took me out from about age 6/7, and I went out with Mum for Dad’s card and gift. By 13 I was well clued up enough to budget for parents’ birthdays out of my pocket money - none of this being given money by parents specifically to spend on their birthdays, it was budgeted for out of my pocket money. DH was brought up the same and it was the norm in my friendship group too. They were obviously fairly token gifts but by 13 I was giving Mum paperback books by authors I knew she liked or boxes of sweets I knew she could eat as she got migraines with chocolates. It was basic manners.

If you pay for your ticket at the cinema then she’s just getting away again with being cheapskate and thoughtless with her own mother and is turning into a person who over-promises and under-delivers, which is terrible on so many levels. It’s a life lesson. I’d walk away and really teach her that lesson if she doesn’t buy you that ticket.

I agree with a PP that young people today seem to be far less capable and competent than they should be at independent thought and thoughtful behaviour.

My daughter did this once too. Wrapped everyone's presents up in paper as she knew they were things they were fond of.

The difference being - she was 6. Not 13.

Your daughter sounds incredibly childish if for one moment she thinks this is acceptable. Very odd behaviour.

Think this speaks of how little there is going on in OP’s life. Teenager in thoughtless gift scandal. If you’re giving her cash to buy your presents it’s basically a gift from you to you.

I think the OP has made it clear that this is absolutely nothing to do with her wanting an expensive gift. It’s about the total lack of thought and care.

She's 13! I think you are overreacting!
Accept the gifts graciously, you are expecting too much. She loves you, and a more expensive gift wouldn't prove that more.

I’m afraid, I agree. My DS13 is not the most perceptive of children and we’re not a big present-giving family (my husband and I literally just buy each other bars of chocolate for our birthdays!!) but even he wouldn’t do this. At the very least, it should have been given along with a “I’m really sorry, mum, but I accidentally spent too much on X for aunty Jane. I wanted to buy you Y but I didn’t have enough. I’m going to save up the rest to have enough to buy it in January.”

I bet she’s overspent on her friends, because for teenagers that is the most important thing. She’ll be keen to ‘buy’ social currency and good favour. And probably feels she doesn’t have to try with you so has given you the dregs. Understandable, but definitely a teachable moment that you also deserve consideration and care.

I would honestly have let this go. I’ve had some shit presents off teen dd whilst she puts more thought into things for her friends. It’s no reflection on how she feels about me. I’m her favourite person in the world I know this.

She's 13 not 3!
Some of these comments are ridiculous. YANBU

You gave her money to buy you a present and she gave you something she already had. So where is the money? Has that been spent on her aunt and friends? In which case I'd be a bit pissed. But she is only a kid 🤷🏻‍♀️

She's learnt a lesson, don't feel too bad that she messed this one up. I think a trip to the cinema on her is a lovely gift and could end up a bit of a Christmas tradition, so hopefully something really nice will come out of this. You handled things brilliantly.

I'm glad you've made up, hope you both have a lovely time at the cinema.

Has she budgeted like that before? If it's her first time buying for a reasonably large number of people I can understand her coming unstuck. Even a tenner each (which doesn't buy much these days!) would seem like a fortune and it would be very easy to buy something for £12.99 for each friend and then run out.

A valuable teen learning experience I guess!

Was this for your birthday? Is it possible she spent more on your Christmas gift? I would hang fire till after Christmas morning. If a suitable gift doesn't arrive I think it would be wise to let her know you feel a bit hurt by the lack of thought. Tell her obviously hand made gifts are cherished but only when they have been made with love for an occasion not just left round the house for 3 years and then given as a thoughtless gift.

It's not a fuck you, she's 13.
Also, she made it. So it now belongs to you only.
If an adult did this then that's different, but she's a kid.

This is the sort of trick I would have pulled. I would have spent the budget on my friends and thought “whoops” when it came to mum. It is just thoughtlessness on DDs part. We got passed it by mum just rolling her eyes and telling me not to get her a gift as she didn’t want me to waste my money and then she wouldn’t be disappointed. I get her lovely gifts now!

@OneAmplePearlKoala

lol what’s pathetic about it?!

@Illjusthavethebreadsticks

eh?! How have you got to that?? Poor OP more like!!