DD has regifted something to me for my birthday which has been lying around the house for 3 years

I think you are quite right to raise this with your daughter now OP. Everything can be a learning situation instead of a fight and I applaud you for teaching your DC to value family at this age or it won’t necessarily suddenly and magically happen later when it’s more expected.
I think a lot of parents shy away from difficult/awkward conversations but this isn’t just about your present it’s learning to not take significant people for granted. Surely it’s much better to showcase how to broach and solve an issue rather than secretly be upset.

You do know that you can isolate the OP’s posts to read for context?

This all sounds odd to me . Why is DD buying your sister and partner a present ? Do you not give a joint present from you both? Not allowed to prioritise and buy her friends presents ? Treating you to cinema or half cost of cinema? Halves on concert tickets for her birthday.? She’s 13 and probably doesn’t have a job ? Why are you not treating her as a child?

@JellyBean909 - sweet!

Some replies here are crazy lol I do think the teenage years is genuinely when they are thoughtless arseholes,…. So it was 100% appropriate to pull her up on that now! Love the Nintendo switch example.

Giving a gift, big or small, is special because it says “I thought of you”.

I thought it would be fun to get my just turned 5yr old involved in gift giving this year so she went out with her Aunt and she decided mummy loves bubble baths so she’s picked me out some LUSH products, and then decided she wanted to actually get some for her Aunt, her grandma and her godmother too.

Never too young to learn to be considerate of other people.

That's probably why her mum gave her money to buy the gifts 🙄 you can just read the OP's posts if you can't be bothered reading an entire long thread!

@ZestyJoey

she was literally given money from her mother to buy presents. There’s no excuse for this.

Lol. It might be her way of saying "I don't have a job or money so what am I supposed to get you?"

Edit: so she's bought gifts for her aunt and her friends at school? The plot thickens.

So this might hurt like hell but there's a good chance she doesn't feel the need to show appreciation for you right now. 13 is an awkward age. Kids are trying to impress their friends and take for granted the people closest to them, I was like that once. Once she turns into a young woman I'm sure she'll appreciate you a lot more.

You sound like a good mum OP.
Teaching your daughter to put some care and thought into someone who singlehandedly brought her up isn't much to ask.
It's the thought that counts, but clearly, no thought went into it.
There's a lot of kids/dads taking mum work for granted and prioritising other people when the main caregiver is expected to take care of themselves.

It's a teaching moment and glad you've made up.

No one is buying anyone's love as OP actually provided the spending money.
OP could have gotten her own present but is teaching her DD how to budget.

No wonder there are so many thoughtless nightmare kids in schools.

Charity begins at home.

Eh? It’s not her own money. DD was given money to buy presents for a set of people, If she didn’t want to buy the gifts she shouldn’t take the money.

She was also allocated a separate Christmas present budget pot by me which was intended to cover: me, her dad, my partner, my sister and her partner and the 3 or 4 school friends she had indicated she wanted to buy for.

@Thepeopleversuswork

I don't understand why you've got such weird replies.

You only wanted her to treat you with the same care and respect she does other people.

God, there's some hard-hearted people on here! Sorry you've had so many nasty comments - par for the course on these threads, sadly.
I would be hurt. She was given money to buy you something and you said she was thoughtful when buying other family members' gifts. Perhaps it was because she didn't have an adult out with her helping her to choose?
Also, people have very low expectations of teenagers on here! They're 'supposed to be' selfish, apparently. What a shame.
Happy to say that my two sons, now in their 20s, have always been kind and thoughtful.

If talk to her. Sustainability and do include regifting. She may have learnt it at school but not quite understood how it fits in with social norms and that it’s not ok to give do done their own objects. There may have been a budgeting lesson to be leant. Go lightly but do say something x

So unbelievably weird that people want to purposely upset a child when obviously (given the daughter’s reaction when confronted) the intention wasn’t to be hurtful or mean.

Some of you really need to take a look at yourself and grow up.

Wrap up a pair of her socks and a used lipgloss for her Christmas present.

Happy Christmas dear daughter, now next year let’s start again!

I definitely don’t think you’re being unreasonable here, for her age. My mum was a single parent till I was around 12 and out of my pocket money I would buy her her favourite chocolates, and other little bits I knew she liked. It was never anything big, but she was always happy for the thought. When my stepdad came along, he would then help me take care of more elaborate/spoily gifts if I asked for the help with shopping etc. Now I help him 😂

I don’t really understand the MNers out there who insist they’re happy with a used tissue and a slobbery kiss, there’s nothing wrong with teaching your children the value of consideration. It shows they notice you enjoy things too. Even a small gift like a box of chocolates, a hand cream or a little £1 RSPB badge, simply because they thought you’d like the Robin one. Obviously little ones are a bit different, but a teenager who is buying for friends can surely pick up a little trinket for Mummy too. Very glad you’ve sorted it, if she pays for the tickets, you get the ice cream 😋

I would act super confused and ask her why she's giving this to you when she's already given you it previously. Get dad to speak to her.

Excuse me, what is your problem? Why such a strong reaction to a stranger's opinion on the internet? What do you know about my experience of motherhood? I'm not the one making myself look like a victim here or projecting my sh*t onto others.
You clearly have a different opinion, and that's fine. But I've attacked no one here, I merely expressed my opinion and, in fact, with the aim to get OP to reconcile with her daughter. Go with your childish reaction somewhere else. Merry Christmas.

If she was 7 then I’d say suck it up but at 13 she should know better, that’s not ok. Even if she made something recently that would be ok but not something that has been knocking around the house.

I hear you OP and it’s normal that you would feel unappreciated when you are the only person she hasn’t got a gift for. Unfortunately, at that age we are their “safe” person, so although it feel hurtful and like you were an afterthought, it’s not quite that black and white in the mind of a teen.

I'm afraid I'd interpret that "gift" as a giant "fuck you". I would be re-wrapping it and returning it to her on her birthday. If its good enough for you, it's good enough for her.

Too much pressure ! She isn't being sent down a mine !

Agreed. Some of the excuses people are making for this are ridiculous. She’s 13, not 3!

I totally agree with the lack of consideration for you.

She's put everyone else above you and that's not right.

All the posters making excuses for teenagers will be moaning in years to come...my adult child doesn't respect me or ever think of me for birthday/xmas presents.

I have one who enjoys thinking about what someone would like for a gift and the other who once could easily gift me my old dressing gown but knows now to do better having been told to make an effort. They do know it’s not about the amount of money spent.