Christmas away from your 1 year old

I was going to say the same. Your DH will have a big wake up call. Let him go and have a luxurious day to yourself.

As other people have said, let him go. Stay in your jammies all day. Eat leftovers. Watch a box set. Have a bath. Enjoy this precious time to yourself. 12 hours away from you isn't going to damage your baby in any way. Your DH is looking for an argument with you. Don't give it to him.

I'd say fine but let him organise everything he needs to take fora long day and be on bed asleep if he got back late. Either he's switched on and it will be fine or he's not and he'll be back earlier having run out of nappies.

I would not be happy with this. A few hours, yes. 10am to 10pm is a big fat no. Unfortunately it sounds like your DH is under his Mum's thumb and needs to grow a spine.

True…but maybe dad is hands on. Such a sweeping generalisation.

Personally I’d love a full day alone after the rush of Christmas, so I could Grinchily take down the tree, tidy up all the presents and decorations, hoover and restore order. But you wouldn’t and that’s fine – and I think when my baby (also a close-to-Christmas baby) was barely one I’d have hated being apart from him for 12 hours, and couldn’t because he still breastfed.

Is the “it’s not fair” a direct commentary from DH? It does feel like a strange amount of time and odd choice to take a baby somewhere he won’t nap, for a late night, just to make things “fair”. Why would anyone want a grizzly overtired baby for that long when they’re 10 minutes away and can see you all the time? Going over for the morning and lunch, then coming home for naptime, makes more sense – doing otherwise feels like it’s a tit for tat, “this is what happens when you refuse to have christmas with my family” rebuke.

(I’m amazed you went there two weeks after a section!)

Who the hell vidits their parents for 12 hours?! 🥴 put your foot down OP and tell DH what time he can go there and if he doesn’t come back, go and collect child yourself

I'm quite sure she's not.

why is your DH being so weird about being at his mothers from 10am until 10pm and not giving a fuck about you or more importantly (sorry) about his DS's NEEDS?? Why can't he bring DS home in the afternoon, then go back for the evening overnight? Poor DS is going to be a grizzly nightmare without any naps & not going to bed as usual at 6. Does he really think keeping him up until 10 just because he's retaliating is good for DS??

why does he allow them to be the way they are with you??

mummy's boy needs to grow up. You don't need to be having an affair to be a shit husband, don't dismiss the posters comment

Edit To add - it's not Christmas away from your 1 year old, .

I agree with the suggestions that you go and pick DC up around 4 so you can do evening routine as normal. It will be nice for your DH to then have time with his family child free too.

I absolutely get that you don’t want to spend Christmas Day with them but maybe a bit odd/rude to not see them at all over Christmas. Could you consider having most the day to yourself, then go and join them late afternoon for a couple of hours and then take baby home at whatever time you feel like?

I also have overbearing in-laws, so I do get it but unless they’ve actually done something bad (other than just really annoying), I do think sometimes you have to give a little when you don’t want to. Your child probably really loves these people even if you don’t.

Assume he's not breastfed as my DC at 1 wouldn't have been able to do that, they were refusing solids at the time.

I would say yes, but on the condition he deals with grizzly DC on the day after boxing day too.

Don't let him make you pack the baby bag or come back with a grizzly DC at 9pm and hand over for you to sort it either!

Take the day and relax.

The mother is usually the primary care giver in any family dynamic. The child is only one year old.

I’d just say no to the whole thing. Doesn’t sound like your husband will respect your boundaries or stand up to the in-laws and it will end up in a row.

Yanbu and routine is important. Although I’d be tempted to agree and let him deal with an overtired baby when he gets back ( which I doubt will be any later than 4-5pm)

They're 10 minutes away, he could go for the morning with DD then drop her back and go back for some child free time. Has he ever cared for her for that long on his own before? If she's crawling or walking it's a lot of effort and very distracting keeping an eye on a toddler by yourself for 12 house in a strange environment, especially if the house isn't baby proofed.

If the OP doesn’t enjoy spending Christmas with her in-laws, it’s reasonable that she would want to begin and maintain her own Christmas traditions. It’s not unreasonable for the OP’s husband to take his DC to the in-laws - but are relations really so bad that the OP couldn’t go with them on Boxing Day, and then come home at a reasonable time with her DC? Failing that, and particularly as they only live ten minutes away, it would not be unreasonable for the DH to bring their child home at bedtime and then go back for the evening, if that is what has been agreed.

I would simply say to them you’ve already made plans for part of the day but will swing by in afternoon for an hour and take baby home with you afterwards to keep usual routines in place. Make sure your husband is aware this is the plan though so he doesn’t kick up a fuss. Sounds like the perfect compromise to me - you can’t cope the full day, he’s annoyed you’re not going at all. Meet in the middle.

No, no, no. Baby is home in time for a bath and cuddle before bed.

@Wewishyouamerrychristmasanda In the long run he needs to have a word with them and set some boundaries then. Otherwise you'll have this issue every year.

I do understand that so close to Christmas is not the time to have the row though. I think he'll be back early anyway when LO gets tired and grumpy.

Why does the mum get the final say? 😂