Is this enough for Christmas??

The part I don't understand is the counting of the number of presents they receive.

It's oddly controlling to me. Some years children ask for big things that do not require other bits so a bike for example. Others years they ask for things that need other p arts to increase its fun so maybe a Barbie house, that might need additional furniture or another doll or a car to go with it.

I would go with the flow and buy what suits their main present. I then buy practical things for their other presents. We have 5 daughters this year along with the thignx they have asked for they all have fun bed socks, pjs family games, always add in a special Christmas themed book each to read together on Christmas Day, Cirque du solet tickets, etc. Things they would get anyway or we would do outsize of Christmas but we add it all in so they have fun opening presents.

Perfect.

You do what you want to do with your family. If you are happy with this, then that should be fine.
I remember my parents used to give us £100 each and let us loose in the toy store before Christmas. I usually got myself a massive Lego set back then and it got put away until Christmas.

Nowadays, we have a bit of a mixture and way too many presents. DS is a Christmas baby as well, which adds to the present pile. His dad and I split up recently and it's the first Christmas we aren't together as a family.
I don't know what his dad got him, apart from one game he checked about with me, but I don't really care. He's getting his "normal" amount of presents from me since I've always been the one to sort the presents out.
My parents have stuck to the toy shop routine with him and he's picked three little Lego sets (despite me suggesting the bigger one...way cooler and the same price, but what do I know...)
DD is only 5 months and is getting amazing stuff she needs anyway...such as a little rucksack and a bottle to take to nursery. She'll be more excited about the wrapping paper.

Depends on the size of your extended family somewhat. My DS has three sets of aunts and uncles (we had five growing up) so that's three from them, two sets of grandparents, couple of godparents and then one from us (I know bah humbug) and a stocking with about ten small things in. That feels like more than enough for a three year old. When he is older I might reassess. We had about the same growing up I think!

Some of the responses on here are mad. Your child doesn't have a more magical Christmas because of a larger present pile. There are lots of things that make a Christmas magical!

We didn’t get much through the year but my mum made sure we have plenty of things to open (even if they weren’t very expensive but instead thoughtful) at Christmas.

My children go to the toy shop all the time to pick toys out so they don’t get as much at Christmas but more probably than what you’ve listed here.

Mine have got 6 each, 2 joint and a stocking from us/Santa. Some of it they've asked for, some of it is stuff they will like and some things are essentials but also stuff they want like a new onesie or some fluffy socks.

They will get another few from grandparents but that's it.

We also do days out close to Christmas so it's a balance. I think I would rather do days out and less presents.

Maybe you could add a couple more, I always think mine never have enough but I don't want to buy for the sake of buying.

It's definitely harder when you have more kids, if we just had one the present pile could be double if we wanted because the money would be spent on one child not two.

WTAF is up with this thread!

These comments: “ miserable”, “tight”, “joyless”, “sad”, “pathetic”, “I feel sorry for them”.

Yes it’s obviously on the low side, but get a freaking grip people, can you not express that without nasty sneering language? It says a lot more about you than it does the OPs present buying.

@FootballGrump my kid has 3 presents from us (parents) this year - a huge set of brio which is second hand (gasp) which he won’t even get on Christmas Day because it’s too much to take to his grandparents, a yoto player with accessories and cards, and a book. Plus his stocking from Santa which is a normal size stocking, not a sack. He’ll also get a gift from his grandparents on both sides, and his aunties and uncles. I would have got him more presents probably but the yoto player was expensive and his dad is definitely on the less is more side of things! And I’ll confess I am now thinking where on earth where going to put the Christmas haul from everyone!

This is definitely a brag post about how superior OP is with their single gift, not like those chavs with their piles of tat.

Most people are somewhere in the middle. My kids usually get one main thing, 4 or 5 smaller things and a stocking. No pointless tat.

Hm. When I was small, half a century ago, I always used to go and see my friends on Christmas morning. She invariably had a mountain of gifts, and better and more expensive ones than I did. I was aware of this from the age of about three. Don’t let anyone tell you kids don’t notice or care. I’m not into pointless consumerism but I think what you describe sounds very scanty.

Last night I got all my child’s presents together to wrap. I didn’t think I’d bought much so picked up a few stocking fillers in the day.
Then I realised I’d actually got him several things and on to of that, there are gift bags hiding in a cupboard from other people. I felt a bit disgusted with myself for bombarding a young child with so much that I’ve set some of it aside to donate to a charity.
There’s no way he could enjoy and appreciate all this stuff. And that’s not the child I want to create. I think it depends on each person and we can all do what we want, for our own reasons but I’m inclined to agree with you.

People all have their own way of doing things so you're not " wrong" but I don't think it's what most people do.

F

Your situation is totally different to what op described and much more normal?
You don't buy one gift, you buy 4-5, then family and friends contribute doublethat number. So your child is probably getting a heap of 10-12 gifts at least.
Op describes a single gift, plus a further 2 from grandparents only. 3 gifts does not even compare to 10-12?!

There can be a happier medium. One gift is desperate, given you can afford to treat them to a bit more at Christmas!

I've bought my daughter a bunch of stuff, and I genuinely couldn't care less what anyone else thinks to that. She's an amazing girl, and she deserves to be made a fuss of at Christmas. I can't wait to see her surprised and happy wee face on Christmas morning.

I admittedly go overboard with the quantity of presents my children receive at Christmas however they are the only presents they get. Apart from one Auntie they receive no other gifts from family so what they open from us on Christmas morning is it.
In OPs situation for me it would depend on whether family/friends where arriving later with gifts so the quantity increased throughout the day. If the one main gift and a few stocking fillers is everything they are going to receive and you can easily afford more then it does sound a bit....underwhelming tbh.
If the older child is getting to an age that they compare gifts with friends they are definitely going to wonder why Santa got Bob a Nintendo Switch and five other toys, some new pj's and a stocking full of bubble baths, underwear, colouring stuff etc and they (in comparison) have received very little.

Why do people like you not understand that there is a middle ground?
Theres a huge gulf between buying a single gift, and kids waking up to half the lounge full of bits of tat carefully wrapped to look impressive....

Neither of those extremes is a good thing.

Most people I wouldimagine will be somewhere between, buying their children perhaps 5-8 quality gifts - a main present, then perhaps a game, a book, some pyjamas, some art/craft supplies, perhaps a smaller lego set or other toy? What exactly is wrong with that? Could you explain why thats terrible?

My children don't expect more and more every year and im not sure why some people imagine childrem bought lovely gifts then demand even more every year 🙄 maybe those kids are just..... Content and happy!

Christmas aside...

Do you feel your children have everything they need development wise? I don't think there is anything wrong with minimalism as long as developmental needs are met.

For example, my young tens are getting a kitchen knife each this year... because they often need one at the same time, and many of ours are too heavy for them. We could have just popped them in the kitchen drawer... but they are presents as wrapping a few extra needed things is normal in our house. But neither approach is wrong really.

I would probably try to add a couple more gifts to the pile. But I think you have the right idea. You need to balance the Christmas magic with not just going over the top because everyone else does. I have felt compelled to go over the top as I see what everyone else does. My kids are getting some expensive stuff this year, so they won’t have much to open. I had a clean out in October and threw out hundred of dollars of crap my kids got for birthdays and Christmas’ that was played with once because I wanted them to have stuff to open.

This is definitely a stealth brag post.
‘Look how unspoiled my children are, why do all these other people overload their kids with gifts when it’s clearly better to do it my way’.

You may as well have posted what I wrote considering it’s very obvious that’s what you think. Otherwise you wouldn’t have chosen the wording that other people ‘spoil’ their children a lot more, you could have said gift or give etc. You also seem sure of your choice so why bother posting.

I remember waking up to large piles as a kid, yes most things were small or practical gifts like calendars, socks, selection boxes, annuals etc, but I still remember loads of them and there’s no underestimating how exciting it is for a child to walk in and see a large pile of presents.
People who say it’s a new thing to buy more than a 1-3 gifts are lying too, my mum and dad were born in the 40s/50s and said they used to get small piles/stockings.

We were never allowed to open family gifts when given - they were under the tree.

It’s another small change you could make.

I think the build up, having over food, spending time with family, going to see the Christmas lights, Christmas crafts at school, school plays is what creates the memories.

The wishing for X - say latest toy - and hoping you get it is always more exciting than the extra presents.

When asked most people won’t remember what they got last year!!

The gifts aren’t the most important aspect whether that’s 2 or 20.

I want Christmas to be magical for my children but I guess I also want them to put less weight on the materialistic stuff and more on the Christmas spirit, the being together bit with friends and family and cooking and good food going on, baking, music, etc.

You must realise it's perfectly possible to do both?

We'll do lots of what you describe in the run up to/over Christmas, but also choosing to buy a child a nice range of presents (e.g. this year from us DS is getting some LEGO, some painting/colouring/craft supplies/activites, some soft toys he specifically requested, some dress up outfits and puzzles/boardgames) doesn't have to equate to "spoiling" them.

Infact, DS loves and looks after all of his toys because that's what we've taught him to do from being tiny 🤷‍♀️ As well as encouraging him every year to work out which of his old toys he no longer plays with as much to donate them to a child who might be less fortunate than him.

I personally think we have a nice balance, but am happy to accept that every family does Christmas their own way.

Or seeking applause and/or showing off?

We stopped because we don't live in the same country at the moment, and prioritise other times of the year to spend together rather than Christmas, due to work commitments. In 2024, I was in the UK in August and October and DC visited me in March and July.

Is there not a middle ground between both op? It’s like people who talk about decluttering- my pov is that my mum left us with no tangible memories toys/ books/ comics wise. Now as a parent I see why but the things you’re thinking of of tat- my sons will get eg yo-yos and annuals to read, a teddy, some will get Lego. We don’t fill our room with stuff but they’ll properly play with this stuff and keep it- so it’s not tat. One single present is very much ‘here is your choice of an enjoyable item that you must appreciate’

The only thing I would add is that, while well intentioned, your approach may push them too far the other way...as soon as they have their own money it is possible they will want to useless tat etc. rather than saving... Like everything in life it's about balance. When it comes to consumerism the message I am trying to pass on to my DD is 'its okay to enjoy nice things, but don't tie your happiness to them'. You don't have to feel guilt or shame when receiving presents (something I struggled with for years).you don't have to deny yourself. Just keep perspective. If it all disappeared tomorrow would you still be happy? If the answer is yes, then there are no worries. You can test yourself too. How would you feel if you lost your mobile phone now? Marcus Aurelius has some nice insights.