Is this enough for Christmas??

Because I’m reading the thread and keep seeing your silly little comments. Leave me alone.

oh ok, yes I can see how a Barbie dream house could be the one and only present as it’s huge and there’s a lot of playing power there. A Lego set isn’t the same.

You think you're doing the right thing. You have explained very clearly here why you think your way is better than other people's. So all you need to do is make the same explanation to your DC in age appropriate language. If you decide to parent in a certain way due to your values and convictions then i think you should be willing and able to explain your choices to your DC when questioned. In fact I think this serves as a much more useful guide than affirmation or otherwise on MN, as good choices come easy to justify and if you're struggling to do that, it's the time to have another think.

Last year dd had just one gift under the tree from us (Father Christmas), it was a Barbie house so was a huge present and still keeps her well entertained now. Sometimes one really good gift can be enough. She did get a few small gifts from family after that, but that was the one that made her Christmas.

Funny isn't it - I've seen the well off families be mean at Christmas too, but also mean throughout the year.

That's why money stays with money. The family in question are spending £30 per child - incredibly mean when they'd happily spend £20 on a bottle of vodka to guzzle at the weekend.

We are comfortable, my children get gifts throughout the year because I feel guilty for working and not being a stay at home mom, and Christmas we go mad and it is magical - for them and for us!

whats described in the OP is similar to what we do, apart from as they’ve got older the stocking bits and bobs have become 6-7 things £3-15 rather than just tat.
a main present from parents, two from aunties (budget £15 each) and one from grandparenr budget £40. XH’a family don’t buy for them so that’s it and it’s ample! Wouldn’t want to store much more stuff

Sounds absolutely fine. Kids don't need most of the crap they get and don't appreciate them at all.

It would take a huge amount for a friend to say to another friend their child didn’t have enough toys (or indeed criticise any element of a friends parenting). Multiple friends saying the same thing to you should put you on notice immediately that you’ve taken a wrong turn on this. The part about treasuring toys also just reads a bit as if you are slowly controlling them by restricting toys when they do perfectly normal kid things like lose a bit of it?
However 3-4 gifts is a nice amount for a child to open and I don’t think you need to buy more for the sake of it. But if my own friends were saying similar I would not be dismissing what they say.

MaMoosie · Yesterday 23:52
Just sounds really shit tbh.

That sort of depth? 😂 For someone who’s not worried. You keep coming back.

Budget aside, I can’t see how 2-4 presents is exciting? It’s not the quantity or size in itself, it’s that to me, there should be enough to entertain for the Christmas holidays, not just an hour or two.

I don’t buy gifts for them from summer to Christmas. Everything goes in the Christmas wish list. So we hold back most of the year (their birthdays are before summer) and go a bit crazy at Christmas. Some stuff is secondhand if good quality. I don’t spoil mine most of the year so on one day, I want them to feel spoiled and crazy excited!

My children give me a list, I have a budget and I buy what I can off the list. My son’s list was under my budget this year so I’ve brought him a few extras.
I’m thinking up to now your children have been quite young? It doesn’t feel workable with teens, for example my 17yr old daughter may ask for a couple of items of clothing, is that one or two presents? I don’t see that as waste as she’s stopped growing so generally will get a lot of wear out of them.
I think if your happy then you do you but after 17yrs of parenting I refuse to have opinion on what other people do unless asked.

@temperance81 you're my Christmas twin! mine are 18 and 26 and I do around 30 gifts plus a stocking

Shoot me

When you see people with massive piles, generally those piles include lots of consumables, books, arts and craft supplies, clothes, things for their room, etc. People who do more modest gifts tend to see these as basic necessities and buy though the year when needed. What is more likely to make a child spoilt - having a single day of extravagance, or getting new things constantly whenever needed/wanted?

However, I think there are two types of people - folk who think the worst thing you can be is extravagant, and people who think the worst thing to be is un-generous. They will never agree!

Have to agree with others, sounds shit for the kids.

But are you going to out and buy them more presents? If not then I don't understand why you are asking.

Over the years on here I’ve observed that the children from well-off families who get few presents at Christmas, usually get bought stuff/hobbies/trips throughout the year.

Regardless, 1 reasonably expensive/ very wanted present plus stocking and presents from the family sounds fine. People are being very judgy. I suspect, conversely, op is also trying to look down on people who do the opposite to them.

We do similar...though grandparents presents are opened at grandparents house. There's usually between 2 and 4 things under the tree each (and a new book for Christmas eve). We do the stocking on the 6th Jan.

DS1 is 8.5 (so old enough to compare with friends) and has never seemed bothered. He's at a very multicultural school so he knows everyone has different Christmas traditions or has different celebrations instead.

I get the DC things throughout the year as their interests change or things get worn out (e.g. art stuff, bits of sports kit). My DM buys little random treats when they visit (eg a new hot wheels car or a funny pen).

I’m not worried. Perhaps you could apply a little more depth to your thought processes int future to avoid making yourself look like an idiot like this.

What about things for your kids to actually do and learn from though, and things for you to do/play with them? Books, jigsaw puzzles, board games, arts and crafts things? I don't think kids need more hunks of plastic tat, but you can never have too many books or board games.

But the thing is ......why do you want to know what other people do, if all you're going to do is get antsy when they say they buy more?

I think what you do with your kids works for you....Great!

It wouldn't work for me because the paucity would make me feel sad and grinchy

I'm not right for you. Youre not right for me

I think the fact that you've started this thread is either because deep down you think you should be buying more or it's a reverse type stealth boast

You do what works for you. If 3 gifts and a ticking works for you then great.

When the dc were little they would have a room full of presents as I did when I was little. Now they're 19 and 24 they probably have shock horror 30 ish presents each plus stockings. But that's my choice.🤷‍♀️ they haven't grown up into spoilt adults, they've always taken care of their belongings and they've grown into generous adults. But that's tradition in my family. My way seems odd to you as yours to me. Doesn't mean either way is wrong.

I’m sure there is a happier medium you can work with as they get older…? As in, you can give a few more gifts which will add to the excitement of the day without overwhelming them with a massive pile of presents that they spend all day opening?

In any case, children need things during the year, like clothing or new art supplies / craft sets when they get used up. They grow out of toys and into others as they age. They get bored of some, like doing the same jigsaw puzzle again and again, and some just aren’t a hit. Each year we have a clear out and these types of things get sold or donated, then freshened up with a few new things at Christmas time or on their birthday.

You can give them a few more thoughtful and long-lasting bits (books, jigsaws, wooden toys, a stuffy, a game, art/craft stuff, etc etc) without it being a mountain of plastic tat from toys r us.

This year mine have one larger gift, and four other gifts ranging from £10-20. As an example, my daughter who is 7 is getting a fluffy spinning chair for her desk as her main present (she had asked for this), a family game we can all play together, a little cardboard suitcase filled with sewing supplies as she has been learning sewing at school and enjoyed it, a stuffed animal with babies that unzip from its tummy, and an art set with “how to draw kawaii cats” book. I know all of these things will be used and loved throughout the next year and I don’t think she is spoiled.

"Lying"?? Or how about maybe just a different set up to other people, as demonstrated by the varying amounts in this thread. My mum was one of 7 children and they had one (very small) gift each growing up in the 50s.

Dc exploring and breaking toys or pulling them apart is fine it's what toys are for.

If your so precious and heavy over how your dc play with a plastic toy why not just get toys for free trim freecyle or charity shops?

If you attach money value to toys then maybe just pay little for them the dc won't notice.

I'm not sure it's something that is easy to "compare".
Every family is different. They have different financial situations, different numbers of relatives etc.
In my family, we don't have much extended family at all. My children have us and one set of grandparents, one uncle, aunt and cousin. That is all. So we buy each child maybe 8-10 things, but they don't have much from anyone else. These smaller things vary in cost between £5-£30 at an estimate.
My niece on the other hand has a HUGE family on her mums side, lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, step -relatives etc. So she gets huge amounts from them, so my brother and his wife only get her a couple of things as they know she gets plenty from elsewhere.
Santa usually brings their main present and a couple of smaller things in our house. So for example a tonie box is the main, then a couple of tonies and a cuddly toy is the smaller ones.
So whilst I don't think there is a set number of gifts to buy, I do think Xmas is about that feeling of awe and wonder so as long as you achieve that in whatever way works for you, it's OK. My children are really lovely kids who work hard, are kind, are grateful. So I love the chance to really spoil them once a year and see their faces 🥰.

I wouldn't say dd gets loads more in total. She gets 1 main or 2-3 smaller mains depending on the year from us under the tree. She also gets a stocking, but I'd say our stocking are not tiny bits and bobs. This year it will have things like a Polly Pocket set, a cuddly cat teddy, a locking diary, a fleece blanket, a couple of books, a mini craft set, bath bombs etc. She'll then get gifts from grandparents and a couple of other family members when we see them. Seems enough, but it really depends what you want to do.