To be mildly annoyed by people who don’t know what they would like for Christmas?

I find it hard to give family and friends gift ideas. There’s just genuinely nothing I want. I’m fortunate enough to have everything I need but mostly I’ve totally tapped out of consumerism over the last few years. Everything seems to so wasteful and unnecessary and just more ‘stuff’ that’s damaging the planet and no one really needs.
I do still like nice things for myself and for the home and I buy myself nice things sometimes (often [good quality] clothes from Vinted as I feel better about it, not because I can’t afford brand new) and for my birthday my husband bought me a nice handbag that was not at all cheap, because my old one was wearing out and it’s worth investing more in frequently-used items.
I’d genuinely be ok with people donating to charity in my name instead of buying a present. Experiences are nice but often outside people’s budget eg if it’s a friend or sibling who might normally spend somewhere between £20-£40.

I genuinely don’t want anything, so I’d struggle to tell you too.

I buy myself whatever the hell I want. I have a very generous husband who would buy me within affordable budget what u ask for but why would I when I can get it myself.
This year we decided a budget for each other, had a general idea what to buy him then concert tickets came out for a band I loved all my days so we have bought tickets for that in a European city for a treat for ourselves. This is great to me, he loves them too, it's a win win. Those memories will last longer than a bottle of perfume or a new shirt or whatever.
Plus it's without the kids so we're both getting a sneaky break too!

I think the need for this declines as we mature. What I wanted more than anything was a few answers from my mother about a number of things that went on when I was younger, and why she never had any praise for anything I'd ever done, despite knowing that she loved me. By the time I was able to ask those questions with maturity and sincerity, my mother was too old to put her through that misery.

I remember seeing her lying dead on the bathroom floor (I had been told she was dead, I didn't find her), and the second thing that came to mind was that I'd never be able to ask the questions...half of me was relieved that I wouldn't have to worry about blurting anything out accidentally, the other half was sad knowing that I couldn't ask her now even if I wanted to.

So maybe these people who annoy you are actually indifferent because what they want are things that money could never buy.

Some people just don't want/need ANYTHING, and if you insist on buying them things, you're doing it just for the sake of it.

My advice in these situations would be a voucher for somewhere they shop, or something like food or drink related.

I don’t know what to say when asked, because I really don’t want any more stuff. I am not materialistic and already have many things (from previous gifts) that I don’t want/need but struggle to get rid of. If offered cash/gift card as an option that is my preference.

And the other thing is that the things I do want, that I can’t afford to just buy for myself, are far too expensive to ask someone else to buy for me.

I don't know what I'd ask for that's of a giftable cost. I don't need stuff. I've got a hobby but buy bits for it as I need them.

Best gift was tonight when kids surprised us with money to go out for dinner and they cooked tea for my Dad (who has dementia and lives with us).

Gift giving is one of the most stressful parts of Christmas.

How much to spend, OTT or stingy?

What to get?
Clothes are hard, you don't want to get the size wrong too small won't fit, too big 'do they really think I'm that fat?'
Books aren't easy to choose.
DVDs / CD are no longer available thing.
Tickets aren't easy.

I have a million things that I want, but I’d struggle with telling anyone but DH.

It seems rude to me to ask for something (we never did Christmas lists as children, so I still struggle with the concept). And I don’t know their budget, or whether they’ll go to the right place to get it. And it seems really rude to say ‘I love this thing here, but make sure it’s this exact one, because this nearly identical thing is horrible and I hate it’.

Totally get this. Sometimes I say "a surprise ". I do mean this. I tend to know what most gifts are. The thing I really like is a surprise.

Exactly this. I’m not materialistic, so obviously will have a different attitude to gift giving/receiving to the OP. For me it’s about showing thought and care, not just buying someone something that by their own admission they could just buy for themselves if they wanted to.

By your own admission, you are very materialistic.

I think for most people, the exchanging of gifts is meant to be an exercise in thoughtfulness, as a way of showing you care.

What you seem to want (everyone telling each other what to buy) isn't really gift-giving, its just everyone mutually appointing each other as the middle-man in doing their own shopping (giving the vague appearance of gift-giving but with no thought, surprise or care).

YANBU. I ask everyone to give me a list. I hate guessing and it's so wasteful to get it wrong. It's way more fun to see their faces on Christmas day when they are given something they really really want. We're not a very materialistic family, I just hate junk and waste.

Oh and it’s never a hint for cash.

I'm not very big into "stuff", have more than I want already, and also buy what I want for me when I want it, or actively choose not to because it's not overall worth it, or something similar where "yeah, that'd be nice but more in fantasy than reality".

Definitely not a hint for cash.

What I would like is someone finding a fun experience or new restaurant I haven't tried or something like that to take me out to. Not vouchers for it though, just them saying "I'd like to take you out, how does this sound on that day?" I value the spending time with people and the connection.
I do it for friends quite often and seems to go down quite well. But depends what your price points are.

I think asking for stuff feels rude and would hate to feel presumptuous about how much they would be up for spending. I hate gift lists for this reason and when people ask for vouchers also just feels mercenary.

This is me. Firstly because I have used up all my mental power thinking of what to buy my DC and DH, then having to think of gifts idea for my DC from my entire family with appropriate budget for each person, then think of gifts for various family members. Two of my DC also have birthdays in December so by the time I get to Christmas I'm sick of the thought of present buying. I don't then want to spent even more time trying to figure out an appropriate gift for someone to give me, again figuring out what budget range to ask within and how easy it is for them to buy etc. Basically it is all WORK.

Secondly, I'm a minimalist at heart and find having lots of stuff stresses me out so I don't want things hanging around unless it's something I really love. What I would really like is to be able to relax. So something like a spa day or massage or someone to take us out for dinner so I don't have to meal plan, shop and cook. But that is all too expensive and too much to ask for so I can't come up with anything.

In the end I usually ask for something boring and useful like thermal vests or a pair of gloves because I have to say something.

Wanties 😂😂

Was going to say exactly this!
I’m not bothered about enforced gift giving seasons, it’s nicer when someone just randomly sees something that reminds them of me and drops it in and stops for a cuppa, those are really thoughtful.
I don’t really want ‘stuff’, don’t like ornaments or anything that doesn’t have a proper use, consumables are preferable as I don’t need to find somewhere to put it.

if I’ve got to send someone a link to a present of something I would have bought myself I’d be annoyed - put some thought into it or just genuinely save your dosh. I can and do buy what I want.

If people ever ask me what I’d like I always say I don’t know, mostly because I’m quite picky about what and how much I bring into my home but also because I don’t know what people want to spend. Don’t want to say a £150 jumper because the person might have only wanted to spend £50. Just a bit awkward.

You see, if I’m close enough to someone to give them a Christmas gift, I’ll know what to get them. I can’t ‘ask’ them, it would be as if they’re placing an order. Where’s the thought, the surprise element? My kids have never made a Christmas list, I love finding cute, thoughtful or funny things for each of them and ‘collecting’ them starting around November.

If you don't know somebody well enough to choose a gift for them why would you even bother? Doesn't it take the fun out of it for you to ask?

I can’t think of anything I want. Generally if I want something, I buy it. If there’s a show I want to see (and I have childcare!) I buy tickets. My house is already fairly full of stuff and I don’t want to add to it.
If someone really wants to buy me a gift, I don’t want to do all the work.

Totally agree. But what is off the scale annoying is when they ask for a list, one is provided, and then they completely ignore it & get something utterly random.

I really don’t want or need anything so I do struggle to think and honestly I’m not particularly interested in getting any gifts.
but people often get me flowers, chocolates, a bottle of gin etc. I’m always happy with consumables as I don’t want more stuff