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Original poster

Do I police my sons friends phone usage at my house?

83 replies

lucy6058 · 21/12/2024 22:03

It's the first time my sons had a friend over for a sleepover. He's 12 and has had a mobile since he was 11. It's always been agreed that his mobile is to be left downstairs in the evening, to charge. He is not allowed his mobile in his bedroom at nightime.
However, his friend said he is always allowed his mobile at bedtime and felt anxious not to be able to contact his mum.
So they are currently up in my sons room with a mobile. I've turned off the WiFi in the hope the friend doesn't have data (but is still able to contact his mum should he need to). But what do others do? I'm interested in learning how best to navigate this. They are at such an impressionable age, and having started to watch the doc with Emma and Matt Willis, I do not like the idea of them being online late at night.
I am also unable to watch tv, as my smart tv needs the wifi!!!! So I'm going to bed to read a book!!!

OP posts:
FumingTRex · 21/12/2024 23:00

Your house, your rules. My DS was told to leave his phone downstairs when on a sleepover, i was pleased when i heard.

If he feels he wants to go home he needs to tell you anyway. Its really not helping kids to use the phone as a security blanket.

FusionChefGeoff · 21/12/2024 22:59

In our house it's our rules so I ask for phones before they go upstairs but tell them they can wake me up anytime if they need mum / to use phones.

Shouldnellly · 21/12/2024 22:57

If it’s the first time your child has ever had a friend over at 12 I’d be doing everything to keep that friendship going tbh

MerryChristmasYaFilthyAnimals · 21/12/2024 22:56

Suggest he puts the phone on the landing in case he needs his mum, but it's out of the bedroom. If that makes him feel anxious he's happy to call his mum to collect him.

fashionqueen0123 · 21/12/2024 22:55

If he’s 12 he should be ok to go for a night without his mum! My kids have been going to sleep overs since about age 9 and therefore had no phones. Honestly.
Id just say to put them on the landing or something

MerryChristmasYaFilthyAnimals · 21/12/2024 22:54

My DD age 11 had a no phone rule overnight in her bedroom. I've had sleepovers ranging from one more kid to five at once. I've always let the parents know that's my rule. The phones are on charge downstairs or on the landing and can be accessed in an emergency to call home if wanted. They can keep their phones a bit later obviously, but once's it's lights out, the phones are out of the bedroom. Together they can get silly (which is fine, they're kids) but video evidence or calling others late at night etc isn't happening at mine. As yet, never had pushback from kids or parents.

Iamfeel · 21/12/2024 22:49

Tell the soft shite not to feel anxious about contacting his mum. Also if you know what you're doing its easy enough to go into your router settings and see if he is online and disconnect his phone access so you can still use your own wifi.

Honestly being held to ransom by a little kid its no wonder this country is so wet.

Differentstarts · 21/12/2024 22:44

Yabu it's a sleepover loosen the rules they can't do anything at night on the Internet that they can't do in the day.