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AIBU?

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Original poster

Birthday plans husband says I've planned it wrong way round

68 replies

Jobsharenightmare · 21/12/2024 21:14

I've arranged a surprise for my husband's big birthday soon. I have ended up telling him vaguely what's planned because he suddenly announced he'd like to arrange something.

He knows we're doing an activity and has said he thinks that should come first. He doesn't know it's an escape room with a welcome drink. So I guess he may think it's something like bowling/axe throwing/crazy golf etc all of which are within a 30 min drive. Just in case this is relevant...

I could possibly change the plan if I'm voted U here. Currently it's pre-dinner drinks at 6, seated at 7, escape room at 9 then cocktails at 10.30 for anyone who is staying over.

YABU: It should be escape room, dinner then cocktails
YANBU: people want to eat first right?

OP posts:
Wolframandhart · 22/12/2024 08:31

Activity first.

but dinner, escape room then cocktails in 5 hours? What are people wearing to suit all three activities?

Original poster
Jobsharenightmare · 22/12/2024 08:29

So my way round seems to be in the minority in terms of preferences and I'm wondering if it's because I have never been to an escape room....No idea it was as physical as you're suggesting so thank you all!

Given that, escape room, cocktails then dinner would actually be fun to talk about it all whilst mingling with different people.

Will leave the thread open and come back before making a final decision as I've got enough time to change some of this.

Thanks for the replies.

OP posts:
Edingril · 22/12/2024 08:27

Activity first i would not do anything after dinner

susiedaisy1912 · 22/12/2024 08:26

Activity first

Onlyvisiting · 22/12/2024 08:19

Jobsharenightmare · 21/12/2024 21:14

I've arranged a surprise for my husband's big birthday soon. I have ended up telling him vaguely what's planned because he suddenly announced he'd like to arrange something.

He knows we're doing an activity and has said he thinks that should come first. He doesn't know it's an escape room with a welcome drink. So I guess he may think it's something like bowling/axe throwing/crazy golf etc all of which are within a 30 min drive. Just in case this is relevant...

I could possibly change the plan if I'm voted U here. Currently it's pre-dinner drinks at 6, seated at 7, escape room at 9 then cocktails at 10.30 for anyone who is staying over.

YABU: It should be escape room, dinner then cocktails
YANBU: people want to eat first right?

Are you having to fit this all in after work or something? As ideally I'd do the escape room earlier, then a relaxed dinner afterwards. Your way around would been I was slightly on edge all dinner as aware of needing to leave on time (what if service is really slow), and would much rather relax after a nice meal than get up and go do an activity. Especially one from 9-10pm, that is definite PJ and slippers time in my life!

Jinglingandmingling · 22/12/2024 08:19

I’d do escape room, then cocktails, then dinner

verycloakanddaggers · 22/12/2024 08:16

Activity first.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 22/12/2024 08:15

Activity first, then you can relax and enjoy dinner.

AlmosttimeforChristmas · 22/12/2024 08:14

Do 30 minutes of drinks at 6, activity at 6.30 and dinner at 8

InterestedDad37 · 21/12/2024 22:25

Yep, activity first imho 😀

freshfrule · 21/12/2024 22:08

Definitely activity first. Would not want to be doing an escape room after dinner and drinks. Also a break in drinking for 1.5 hours would sober me up and I wouldn't fancy getting on the cocktails, so you might get more drop offs for that part of the evening too.

Spaceid · 21/12/2024 22:07

From experience, nobody wants a full bladder or stomach when participating in an escape room. There were a lot of us (half) who had to shout to get out as we needed the loo. Mixture of men/women/old/young. Please don’t do that to people!!

Doggymummar · 21/12/2024 22:05

Activity first, maybe like 5pm then everything else works as booked.

Fourecks · 21/12/2024 22:03

I agree with the majority that I would prefer the activity first while I'm sober and not full, then a relaxed dinner where you don't have to watch the clock.

I do hope your husband is appreciative of the effort you have gone to in order to arrange a lovely surprise for his birthday though.

needhelpwiththisplease · 21/12/2024 22:01

Crawling on the floor looking for clues after dinner & drinks is not fun

GiraffesAtThePark · 21/12/2024 21:59

Agree with your husband- activity first then you can relax

Rowen32 · 21/12/2024 21:56

Jobsharenightmare · 21/12/2024 21:14

I've arranged a surprise for my husband's big birthday soon. I have ended up telling him vaguely what's planned because he suddenly announced he'd like to arrange something.

He knows we're doing an activity and has said he thinks that should come first. He doesn't know it's an escape room with a welcome drink. So I guess he may think it's something like bowling/axe throwing/crazy golf etc all of which are within a 30 min drive. Just in case this is relevant...

I could possibly change the plan if I'm voted U here. Currently it's pre-dinner drinks at 6, seated at 7, escape room at 9 then cocktails at 10.30 for anyone who is staying over.

YABU: It should be escape room, dinner then cocktails
YANBU: people want to eat first right?

Definitely activity first. Would hate to be going into escape room at 9 at night!

HunterHearstHelmsley · 21/12/2024 21:56

Activity then dinner. I wouldn't enjoy myself having dinner and drinks then pootling off to an activity. Leave me in my food coma.

Whole timings will need to be changed though so may not be possible at this stage?

Cakeandcardio · 21/12/2024 21:54

I hate doing activity first. I feel I can't enjoy it as I am looking forward to eating. So always dinner first. But I seem to be in the minority!

StampOnTheGround · 21/12/2024 21:54

Activity first!

Figgygal · 21/12/2024 21:51

Activity then dinner imo

Popskipiekin · 21/12/2024 21:41

Always fun to have activity first which you can then dissect over dinner. If you weren’t going to be having a welcome drink at the escape room I would have maybe suggested meeting for one drink beforehand to warm everyone up rather than go in cold. But welcome drink sounds good. Enjoy the escape room and then have fun discussing after.

FrogsLoveRain · 21/12/2024 21:40

Activity then dinner. Also gives a topic of conversation over dinner. Then let the drinks flow.

If dinner first you're always watching the clock

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 21/12/2024 21:39

I'd rather do the activity first. Dinner could over run and I wouldn't want to rush because food had come out late. I would be able to chill more if we were eating after activity.

Coconutter24 · 21/12/2024 21:37

I’d prefer activity then dinner

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