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AIBU?

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Original poster

Birthday plans husband says I've planned it wrong way round

68 replies

Jobsharenightmare · 21/12/2024 21:14

I've arranged a surprise for my husband's big birthday soon. I have ended up telling him vaguely what's planned because he suddenly announced he'd like to arrange something.

He knows we're doing an activity and has said he thinks that should come first. He doesn't know it's an escape room with a welcome drink. So I guess he may think it's something like bowling/axe throwing/crazy golf etc all of which are within a 30 min drive. Just in case this is relevant...

I could possibly change the plan if I'm voted U here. Currently it's pre-dinner drinks at 6, seated at 7, escape room at 9 then cocktails at 10.30 for anyone who is staying over.

YABU: It should be escape room, dinner then cocktails
YANBU: people want to eat first right?

OP posts:
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cariadlet · 22/12/2024 21:44

Good news that you have been able to move the escape room to an earlier time. Fingers crossed that you can also move the restaurant.

It's turned out to be a good thing that you had that conversation with your dh.

GiraffesAtThePark · 22/12/2024 21:41

Glad you’re changing it. I used to work in an escape room and letting people out the room to go to the toilet ruins the experience and that’s much more common in groups who’ve had a few drinks.

meganorks · 22/12/2024 19:18

Activity first. My desire to do anything after a big meal and a few drinks is very limited!

Original poster
Jobsharenightmare · 22/12/2024 18:55

Thanks everyone. The escape room can accommodate us earlier so now onto the restaurant to see if we can eat afterwards.

OP posts:
mitogoshigg · 22/12/2024 12:15

Dinner first if starting at 6 as I personally don't deal with eating late!

FrogsLoveRain · 22/12/2024 11:42

Jobsharenightmare · 22/12/2024 10:50

This is what I was thinking in my original plans...won't people just get really drunk if not eating until late? Do people want to start a birthday celebration evening at 5pm?

Show quote history

You've gone to a lot of effort OP, and you won't please everyone but hopefully doing the activity first you'll please the majority and your DH.

Personally I'd then prefer dinner then cocktails. But if it was cocktails then dinner I'd still join in. But would probably only have one cocktail...

I'm sure everyone will have a great time :-)

noworklifebalance · 22/12/2024 11:20

Bit worried now. Quite a few of you mention wanting to opt out if full. How can I make it clear to everyone that it's the cocktails that is optional on the night if you

Say something along the lines of: escape room booked and paid for X number of us followed by dinner and then cocktails for anyone who still has the stamina!

It sounds like a great way to celebrate a birthday - hope you all have great time!

ManhattanPopcorn · 22/12/2024 10:53

It wouldn't matter to me either way.

confusedlots · 22/12/2024 10:51

I wouldn't fancy doing the activity after dinner. It's much nicer to sit down to have dinner and a couple of drinks and be able to relax, not checking your watch to see what time you have to get up to go on to the next thing

Original poster
Jobsharenightmare · 22/12/2024 10:50

FrogsLoveRain · 22/12/2024 10:23

I'd need cocktails after dinner otherwise I'd be on the floor...

This is what I was thinking in my original plans...won't people just get really drunk if not eating until late? Do people want to start a birthday celebration evening at 5pm?

OP posts:
Dery · 22/12/2024 10:49

Glad you’re re-thinking, OP. Agree with PP - definitely activity first and then dinner. I would suggest cocktails before dinner also.

Maddy70 · 22/12/2024 10:42

I think activity first so you arent rushing for time and you can relax

Redwinedaze · 22/12/2024 10:29

Escape, dinner and then cocktails to relax at the end sounds perfect.

Fistle · 22/12/2024 10:26

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 22/12/2024 10:21

The order should be escape room, cocktails and then dinner... you don't have cocktails after dinner...

This.

FrogsLoveRain · 22/12/2024 10:23

I'd need cocktails after dinner otherwise I'd be on the floor...

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 22/12/2024 10:21

The order should be escape room, cocktails and then dinner... you don't have cocktails after dinner...

Dishwashersaurous · 22/12/2024 10:12

Always do the fixed time slot fixed price thing first, then if people flag away early you have done the thing youve paid for. And then you aren't looking at a clock.

Fistle · 22/12/2024 10:10

Cocktails are a pre-dinner thing, though.

cariadlet · 22/12/2024 09:49

Escape room, dinner and cocktails sounds perfect.
The escape room will get the guests working together and give them something to talk about.

It might be worth a discussion in the birthday WhatsApp group (or however you are organising the communication) about what everyone is going to wear so that nobody is uncomfortable if they turn up dressed differently from the others.

It wouldn't be a problem for me an my friends as we're a tshirt and jeans crowd but might be worth thinking about if you and your friends like to dress up for dinner or if the cocktail bar is posh.

High heels would definitely be a no no for an escape room.

AlpacaMittens · 22/12/2024 09:46

Sorry OP, he's right, it's completely the wrong way around. Should be activity first.

Original poster
Jobsharenightmare · 22/12/2024 09:43

Bit worried now. Quite a few of you mention wanting to opt out if full. How can I make it clear to everyone that it's the cocktails that is optional on the night if you like? I'll be paying £30 pp for the escape room and it's non refundable. The cocktail bar is letting me reserve an area for £50 so it's OK if lots go home then.

Based on the poll so far I've got enough insight now thanks, will see what can be changed! Will aim for escape room, dinner and cocktails I think but try to make it clear to people once they say yes it's not a decide on the night if they fancy it kind of situation... been saving for a year for this evening!

OP posts:
Funfuninthesunsun · 22/12/2024 08:53

Activity first then drinks and dinner and more drinks.

I think once I'd had dinner and a couple of wines I'd decline going to the escape room in favour of more wine and a sit down.

gamerchick · 22/12/2024 08:45

So my way round seems to be in the minority in terms of preferences and I'm wondering if it's because I have never been to an escape room....No idea it was as physical as you're suggesting so thank you all!

Some of them are nuts. If the only way to get into the next room is to climb into a big drawer and get pushed in by another player, you definitely don't want a belly full of grub. Dress for comfort.

DappledThings · 22/12/2024 08:44

Jobsharenightmare · 22/12/2024 08:29

So my way round seems to be in the minority in terms of preferences and I'm wondering if it's because I have never been to an escape room....No idea it was as physical as you're suggesting so thank you all!

Given that, escape room, cocktails then dinner would actually be fun to talk about it all whilst mingling with different people.

Will leave the thread open and come back before making a final decision as I've got enough time to change some of this.

Thanks for the replies.

According to the vote 240 people think you should do activity first and only 17 agree with you. That's pretty definitive!

Sanch1 · 22/12/2024 08:44

Activity first. Once you've sat down for food and cocktails people will lot want to go off for an escape, and also maybe too tipsy for an escape room!