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AIBU?

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Original poster

Shy 2 year old - comments

107 replies

Namechangedforre · 21/12/2024 20:30

Wondering if anyone has some advice or tips. My DD is absolutely adorable. At home and in environments she knows (eg her playgroup and classes) she is chatty and giggly and a lot of fun. However, when we go into new environments eg holidays or peoples house or shops - she totally changes. She goes really shy and often pulls on my leg and will look very upset and not speak to anyone. I guess she goes very shy. We are currently on holiday and all of the lovely staff keep trying to play with her or smile or ask her for a high five etc and she will just hide or look sad. I have tried encouraging her but she is just really shy.

It’s night two and a few people have made comments about how she is “stroppy” or “always tired” or “totally silent” or
”wow so quiet so weird’” it’s really upsetting me. I explain that she is just shy and to give her time but of course cannot say that to every person!

Is her behaviour normal? People just expect kids to be all animated and bubbly. She is not. Yes she is quiet and shy around new people but that doesn’t make her weird.

I am getting myself quite sad.

OP posts:
CurlyWurly41 · 21/12/2024 21:11

Just saw this and had to reply. This is absolutely how my DD was. First off I think this is entirely appropriate and normal- kids should be wary of strangers, it’s developmental. My DD is now 10. When she was little she was so shy that she used to get off the climbing frame or slide in the park if another child got on it. She wouldn’t talk to anyone she didn’t know and used to scream when I left her. She’s still a bit on the quiet side compared to some others in her class (but so was I), but is in a really supportive school and is thriving. Try not to worry OP. There’s nothing wrong with her. Just support her and love her as she is.
I never liked labelling DD as shy- I think I said to ppl that she just likes to get to know people before trusting them. Or something like that.
Hope you get more replies.

TheNeverEndingOver · 21/12/2024 21:10

People are so rude. My daughter was exactly the same at two, I felt I spent my life saying ‘she just takes time to warm up’. People would say ‘oh she doesn’t like me’ ‘oh she’s so grumpy’. She’s 3.5 now and is completely the opposite, you can’t keep her quiet. Her behaviour is completely normal, she’s so young. People seem to think young children are there for their entertainment!

Dollshousedolly · 21/12/2024 21:10

Don’t label her as being shy. Just say she’s not feeling very chatty just now or just getting used to all the new faces of whatever.

Original poster
Namechangedforre · 21/12/2024 21:10

princessrapunzel · 21/12/2024 21:04

This makes me so sad. My kids are the same, i was like it as a kid too. Like you say people just expect kids to laugh at their stupid jokes or want to interact with them and i dont think they know how to act when kids dont like it so in most cases (like theyre being to you) they be very rude!
Your dd is not weird at all! Not everyone's born an extrovert. My ds is now 6 and is alot more confident and will interact a bit more but hes pretty clued up on fake people and tends to ignore them. I just now say to people who are rude about it 'he doesnt have to talk to anyone he doesnt want to' or roll my eyes and walk away.

I say your doing exactly the right thing, encourage but if shes not interested just shrug it off and walk away, you dont owe anyone an explanation, especially if theyre rude anyway. My mum used to laugh at me and kept saying i was silly and shy and try force me to do stuff and now im very anxious.
Im rubbish at advice and i barely ever post but i just wanted to try make you feel even a little bit better. Your dd isnt weird at all, its ok to take time to warm up to people, its ok to be a little bit wary. People are just rude

This post is so kind and thoughtful, I am tearing up! Thank you for replying. We just had dinner and she refused to speak to anyone and actually would stop eating and hug me if someone came super close to her. I mean I wouldn’t like it if I was setting chips and someone came and interrupted me singing and putting on a funny voice or trying to put a Santa hot on me so why should she!

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 21/12/2024 21:08

they are rude. My DD is shy, she is 17 soon and still shy, she is ok in her friend group but it’s just her personality.

TempuraCustard · 21/12/2024 21:06

She's fine. They're fucking rude.

princessrapunzel · 21/12/2024 21:04

This makes me so sad. My kids are the same, i was like it as a kid too. Like you say people just expect kids to laugh at their stupid jokes or want to interact with them and i dont think they know how to act when kids dont like it so in most cases (like theyre being to you) they be very rude!
Your dd is not weird at all! Not everyone's born an extrovert. My ds is now 6 and is alot more confident and will interact a bit more but hes pretty clued up on fake people and tends to ignore them. I just now say to people who are rude about it 'he doesnt have to talk to anyone he doesnt want to' or roll my eyes and walk away.

I say your doing exactly the right thing, encourage but if shes not interested just shrug it off and walk away, you dont owe anyone an explanation, especially if theyre rude anyway. My mum used to laugh at me and kept saying i was silly and shy and try force me to do stuff and now im very anxious.
Im rubbish at advice and i barely ever post but i just wanted to try make you feel even a little bit better. Your dd isnt weird at all, its ok to take time to warm up to people, its ok to be a little bit wary. People are just rude