Shy 2 year old - comments

My 2yo DD is the same. She's just cautious before interacting with new people. She has friends in nursery and is chatty at home and at grandparents house but around new people especially adults she goes very quiet and still.
She is getting better as she used to hide into my lap around strangers and she no longer does that.
It's very rude of people to judge.

My daughter is now ten but pretty introverted. When with her friends, she’s comfortable and relaxed. I can see the difference between her and some of her bubbly peers but she’s a healthy girl. So, I have no worries.

I would try not to label her as shy as she will hear you say that. She takes a while to warm to strangers and doesn't enjoy strangers attention on her- tell them that!

My son used to hate walking into rooms even if they had family in that he hasn't seen for two weeks. I had to tell them all straight "Hi please ignore him a bit until he feels comfortable here and then he will come up to you when he is ready". A few of them ignored me and kept demanding a hello hug from him and he would scream to get away from them and just cling to me even more. They said "oh I bet he's like that with everyone" I said no not my side of the family because they don't scream at him for a hug until he's clearly ready for one! That got them to stop and now he warms to them quicker.
If ever it happened with complete strangers I would just smile and walk away with him or ask them an adult question to stop them fawning over my child and talk to me instead.
Good luck!

She just sounds cautious. There’s benefits to that. Glad to hear that she is happy within her peer group. You’ve got no problems there but in terms of people’s comments just say she’s comfortable with her friends and leave at it that.

Yes! I had a few friends with very confident children which did make me worried about mine at the time. I remembering reading up about it quite a lot, very reassuring and lots around natural instincts and useful caution as they develop and understand the world. She’s also highly sensitive so I imagine there is a corolation there. It’s definitely normal, and other people are definitely rude!

If you think about it, it's self preservation too. You wouldn't want a toddler who happily walked off with any person that walks up to them.

Totally normal, if you read older books there are often references of young children "hiding in mother's skirts" or peeking out from behind them.

Imagine being 2 having no idea where you are when s somewhere new, no idea who the people are, no idea whether it is forever or just a short time. The more I think about it being a toddler sounds scary, no wonder they get overwhelmed.

Not always possible but you can try things like getting into the space before it fills up, so she can run around the entertainment space whilst it's fairly empty and people come into her space, rather than her going into a preoccupied space. Or turning her around so she can't see the overwhelming things but can see you whilst she adjusts. Try a sticker calendar so she can stick a sticker on each each morning and see how many 'sleeps' before going home.

My job involves working at a reception desk some of the time. I think most toddlers are wary of strangers. A good proposition of them hide behind a parent and might peek out and give you smile.
My own kids are in their 20s now and sometimes I wonder if those little short videos of toddlers you see all the time are changing the way some people view toddlers, like it's almost a toddler's job to be performing and cheeky all the time. I hate those videos. They seem like such an invasion of privacy.

It’s exhausting isn’t it, I know exactly what you mean about ‘finding a reason’. I didn’t do anything in particular to help her - she was at nursery four days a week and we do classes on a Friday with other kids. Have play dates sometimes on a Fridays too. I think she genuinely just got older and developed more confidence naturally though. I just always reassured her she never had to hug/high five anyone she didn’t want to, didn’t have to talk to anyone she didn’t want too. As long as she feels safe and confident and loved around you, which she evidently does, that’s really the most important thing!

100%

My niece is nearly 3. She is absolutely brilliant with people she knows but super shy around others. So sweet and funny, an absolute joy to be around

She doesn't owe anyone a smile, a laugh, a high five.

She will probably grow of it. For now, that's her and that's fine.

Normal for some kids - my ds was shy - I just let him sit on my knee if he wanted or if there were things to do - such as a playgroup, would go with him to play with something - if anyone asked I just said he was a warme upper - he would be fine once he had warmed up - he is fine now - sometimes a bit reserved but it isn't holding him back

People can just be so weird. When my 6 year old was a baby he had a strawberry birth mark on his forehead and honestly op the comments I had on that would really shock you. Really horrible. Total strangers every time!

I could've written this op! Worst I had was a concerned look and patronising 'don't worry I'm sure she will improve once she starts nursery' - like my toddler is a problem that needs 'fixing' ffs! It's so annoying. She's less shy now so I get it less but she used to be super shy at toddler group so I get it.

No advice but solidarity. Dd is also tall for her age so I am used to getting shocked reactions when I say her age. She's 3 in March but someone last week thought she's 4!

Though if you are in a place where there is character entertainment, it’s to be expected they’ll stop by your table -maybe you could ask that your table isn’t visited by any of the entertainment staff.

My daughter is like this too and we have also had arseholes make rude comments. I just say that she’s ’selective about the company she keeps’ and stare them out a little bit 😂

She's fine! She's not a performing monkey.