To tell them they can’t drink in their own home?

Op, I really don't like people getting drunk either, especially early on but honestly, you're being so precious. I get that you really like everyone and they are more fun without alcohol but you're storing problems up for yourself in the future. You're coming across as unreasonable, not here on MN, but to those you actually care about. It may effect your interactions in the future. Eg whether you are invited etc

Also, who's hosting? Have you actually asked them first? I'd be annoyed with you stipulating your rules without having asked me first if I was hosting.

The other thing, he's 6 years old, not 6 months. If you need to use the loo, tell him to wait for you outside if you're so very anxious.

This is madness, don't go, or go and look after your own child, what happens if they drink, do they get locked falling around and starting arguments, if thats the case don't go, if its not the case go and let them do what they want. Yabu

The thing is, that's like saying if everyone followed the law, we would have a wonderfully safe society - it's just not life.

You're best off breaking the cycle of acceptance and staying away. Perhaps it will shine a light on another person's behaviour being so intolerable that it's pushing family away and others will need to make a choice about whose company is more important. I remember reading a sad case on here where a man had stood by his alcoholoce wife for so long that his adult kids had basically nothing to do with either of them, so be prepared that the may not choose you and your son.

But take comfort that you're breaking the cycle and that that is more important in the long run.

I do feel for you though. So many people have a problem with alcohol, even if its not dependency, and it stains peoples lives and ripples further than just the user.

Surely this isn't a genuine post?!
Of course you can't dictate how people spend their Christmas, in their own home.
As a parent you should be the one not drinking as you're watching your child, if anyone becomes aggressive then surely you leave or if you're certain this will happen you don't go.

what??? You can't be serious! Most people have drinks with their Christmas lunch. At 6pm Christmas day is basically done and dusted. I know of no one that would wait til the day is almost over to drink!

Truth is OP, that a lot of people are alcohol dependent (especially in the UK) and can't imagine not drinking before 6/7pm every day so you won't get much sympathy in the comments. I was the same once, but when my dad became a raging (but functioning) alcoholic I bought him books to help him give up... turns out he had already read them and they didn't help him as he was too far gone, but I read them and don't drink any more and now I see how corrosive alcohol is and how in denial most people are about their psychological reliance on it.
All those who feel personally attacked by this comment should probably read The Easy Way to Control Alcohol by Allen Carr, and This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. Trust me, your body and mind will thank you later.

It sounds like a potentially miserable Christmas. I think just pop in early on during one of the 'main' day, if you want to, and then just head home and have a non-aggressive Christmas at home instead.

Of course you can't ask people not to drink in their own home!
That's incredibly unreasonable.

If you don't want to be around people having a drink or you are concerned that your family can't enjoy a drink without getting drunk and aggressive then maybe just go and visit in the morning and return home after.

I’m a non drinker and even I think YABU 😀

" It’s not even every family member, mainly just one who gets like this; but I sent the message to everyone so that they didn’t feel singled out."

This is the problem. The ones who don't get aggressive when drinking are being penalised because of that one person. It's not fair on those people.

I want to say YABU and if you don't like the atmosphere, don't go... but... Christmas Day aside, who drinks before about 6pm anyway unless they've got a serious problem with alcohol? I drink way too much myself but have no desire to start before about 6 o'clock anyway. Plenty of time to have a few in the evening.

I do understand where OP is coming from. Clearly some members of her family have a real problem with alcohol and I don't think she's wrapping her child in cotton wool, situations can turn very ugly when drink is involved.
I also understand that OP wants to spend time with the members of her family that she gets on with well rather than feel isolated and out of things alone with her child.
I do agree that you cant tell/ask people not to drink. They may agree but not stick to it and you can't police other people.
If you join an organisation like Al Anon one of the first things you learn is that you cannot control other people and that you are powerless over their use of alcohol.
You can however control your own response.
If you are worried OP I would make the visit a bit shorter.
Think in advance how you will handle it if things go badly. Will you have a room where you can take your child? Do you have any friends nearby you could visit? Could you go out for a walk or drive home if it was bad enough?
Plan ahead and don't react emotionally, just put your plan into action. And try to chill, relax- don't watch whether people are drinking or not just act if you see that they are becoming argumentative and aggressive.
You will antagonise people by trying to tell them what to do but I do understand why you would want to.

It sounds like your family have problems around alcohol, so yes, I'd either not go of ask them to not drink around your child. But I wouldn't go myself, social drink or 2 during the day- fine. Drinking to the point of being loud, argumentative or generally have their behavior visibly affected by it then I want no part of it and would absolutely not have it around my child. Including Christmas day.

It is a bit weird to have even considered to ask but I wasn't brought up in a household that appears to revolve around alcohol so arguing and aggression isn't something that I've had to consider.

If she was my daughter or sister Îd absolutely rather she asked for this reasonable favour ( not drinking around her son ) than not come at all. I could always say no , but given her reasons I wouldn’t.

Yeah. But they didn't. Some people have decent families

You are unreasonable. Your choice is go to the family or don't go but you can't dictate this

Did you purposely post this for a pile on??

They’d be well within their rights to tell you stay at home, alone, for Christmas.

What a ridiculous, entitled post op 🤣🤣

What? The drinking leads to the twattery. Just like jumping in on a thread without bothering to read it properly (and making it about yourself) leads to twattery.

Their house, their rules. Of course you’re being unreasonable 🤷‍♀️

Asking people not to be twats is fine. Asking someone not to have a glass of wine is not.

Asking people not to be twats is hardly "micro managing". It's pretty healthy behaviour. Good for you OP

If we went out we would leave a bottle of wine for the baby sitter.

This. OPs original post wasnt brilliantly written. But read the rest of her posts (there is a button to do this folks ) and it makes more sense. But seems like most YABUs didn't get past the first post. Pity really.