To tell them they can’t drink in their own home?

Why agree to stay a week with them if you know alcohol is a main part of their Christmas? I'd rather be alone with my toddler and in peace, doing things my own way if I were you

She isn't dictating. She's asking. They've agreed. They're her family too. And if people can't wait till 6pm to drink, which is all she's asking, then they have a problem

Not your house and you're 100% responsible for your child. Either you go to bed with him and call it a night or don't go altogether. You can't dictate that everyone else doesn't drink at the one time of the year almost everyone has a drink. You're being ridiculous.

So many Brits are weirdly defensive about alcohol. I'm another one who thinks 'good for you OP'. You're putting the needs of your child front and centre, as the whole family should. They can survive without drinking alcohol before 7pm, and if not, if they are really struggling with that, it's a clear sign they have a problem with alcohol and this could prove to be a wake up call. I much prefer the company of people when they are sober, it's sad that people are so reliant on booze that they can't imagine not drinking during the day.

I have a drink about once a year unless I'm going to a wedding for example. It's not the fact that she's asking people not to drink, it's the fact that it's another person's home. In her home, her rules, but not to dictate in another's. No.

It’s not about the alcohol for me. It’s about OP feeling entitled to dictate what other people do in someone else’s house.

If she was hosting she could put whatever restrictions she likes in place.

I am essentially a non-drinker and I live with an alcoholic and I hate it. HATE IT! And I'm trapped here, but that's a story for another time. Point is, even i voted yabu. You cannot tell other people what to do at someone else's gathering.

I would just love to know who are these alcoholics voting that you are being unreasonable? No of course you’re not being unreasonable. Your toddler sleeps by 6/7pm. I’m sure these adult family members won’t die without an alcoholic drink until then. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to check into rehab stat as they clearly have a drinking problem. It’s never too late to ask for help folks.

I think it's OK to ask but not to dictate. Probably depends on the family dynamics though.
Im a former addict so I wouldn't go to dinners where certain Kinds of of alcohol are served. People have always been understanding and refrained from drinking those.

This has to be a joke. Why would you think you can dictate this. I would want to have a drink just because of your audacity to be honest.

You can't dictate that others can't drink over the festive period. You are responsible for your child while you are there so the accident scenario is a moot point. If you feel strongly about it then just don't go but why do others have to sacrifice enjoying their holidays or having a glass of wine while preparing lunch JUST because you've decided to have a child? (And before you come for me, I have a 2 year old and an 11 month old ... I would never dictate to others ... I am responsible for my kids and if I didn't like an atmosphere I have the choice to take my kids out of the room)

I'd uninvite you

What an extraordinary family! I’ve never heard of one that gets fighting drunk by 7pm on Christmas Day.

You are being unreasonable. They aren’t going to be looking after your child. My family always had lots to drink Christmas Day and evenings would have quite the party. I stopped taking my daughter until I thought she would be old enough. Would never of asked them to not drink. Was everyone’s day to unwind. If I had lived closer I could have gone in the morning until 2 and then left but I wasn’t so didn’t go.

I'd just avoid leaving your child with someone else, even for a second. If they were coming to you you could be more strict.

Seriously OP? Blimey. Of course you’re BU. Just don’t go, you sound hard work.

You're being completely ridiculous. The word "entitled" springs to mind (overused on MN but appropriate in this case IMO). Since you've already told people they aren't allowed to drink in their own home, your question is a bit disingenuous. I'm surprised anyone agreed to follow your rules. I'm not much of a drinker, but in your relatives' shoes I would tell you, "Not on your nelly."

You are being unreasonable. You cannot tell people what they can and cannot do in their home. People drink and consume alcohol on the holidays, especially the holidays. You can't expect them not to. And as long as they are adults and drink responsibly it should be of no concern to you. If someone is acting a little drunk, remove yourself from the situation. No need to make a big fuss about it. But making demands is going too far and if you really don't want to be around it, the best option is to stay home.

No only are you totally out of line, unreasonable & a CF but when they start drinking after he goes to bed they will get louder, are you going to tell them to be quiet as well?

Just don't go if it doesn't suit your standards.

It's everyone else's Christmas as well.

I totally understand your concerns OP. I’ve never wanted my children to be around alcohol either - it changes people. I don’t see it as any different to them being exposed to drug taking or a bookies shop … but in someone else’s home it’s not your choice. If I was in your boots I’d be thinking about making your own traditions with your toddler going forward and inviting friends/family you feel comfortable with to celebrate with you.

And it will be on Christmas Day itself, 100%. Because people with any kind of drink problem think that day is green light day,

I just kept my DC away from the situation. Not fair of me to dictate what all the grown ups can/can’t do, so we stayed home - a bit sad, but as least they never relived the Christmases of my childhood.

I think what you are asking for is reasonable, but big drinkers will never agree!

Wow. You'll be popular on the other family what's ap group because trust me there is one where they're laughing at your request.
I think you might find that your invitations to future events gets 'lost' next year/