To tell them they can’t drink in their own home?

Of course you can't dictate what folk do in their own house. if you aren't happy about the way they behave you shouldn't have accepted the invitation. Entitled,selfish, judgey and controlling.

I couldn’t spend a few days with my Bro, we love each other. We enjoy an hour or two together in social times (or longer when working on a project etc) but I become so stressed if we are around alcohol that I probably wreck the atmosphere.
but we’ve had some car crash holidays etc and I just seem to be waiting for it to happen.

so I’m sorry if you have a similar experience and I think it’s shame, but you might have to limit the length of your trips

No really you can’t ask people not to drink on Christmas Day, I’m not surprised someone didn’t reply, they are probably still recovering from the shock of being asked.

I get you OP. My dad is basically an alcoholic and you can tell he's had a drink as soon as he's had just one or two. When sober he's fine but when he's on the sauce he has picked fights, sworn at me, made inappropriate comments about my cleavage, written me insulting messages and generally becomes bitter and aggressive. Of course I don't want my kids to be around that and I can see why you don't want it either. Alcohol changes certain people and it's reasonable to ask them not to drink before 6/7pm. You won't get a lot of support here though I don't think.

Your request was unreasonable. But wanting to limit your son’s exposure to aggressive, argumentative drunks isn’t. I’ve been in this position and I do understand.

1)Plan a shorter visit
2)Consider whether one or both parents or siblings might feel the same as you if you shared your dilemma and would be in a position to help limit early drinking. Plan activities, don’t bring out the booze until mid-afternoon, be ready to tell a person when they’re getting unpleasant. This is obviously easiest if the “offender” isn’t supplying the alcohol or seen as in charge, and it’s hopeless in some families.
3) If 2 doesn’t work or isn’t an option then tell your family that you aren’t willing to expose your son to shouting and that feeling like you can’t safely walk away from your son in the house for a few minutes is too much, so you’re cutting visits short or staying home as long as that’s part of the environment at their house. They can decide whether to make a change. “I’m not willing to have loud arguments and unsafe behavior around my son so I’m not bringing us into that environment” is healthy boundary setting, but “no one can consume alcohol until after my son’s bedtime while I stay for a week” is controlling and will usually end in you being seen as the person causing drama not the heavy drinker.

Don’t leave your son without a reasonably sober adult you trust to protect him. If other adults aren’t willing to step in to stop a plastered adult picking up a child then they’re not safe adults either and you just can’t visit for longer than you can provide close supervision the way you would in a location with physical dangers. It’s hard, I’m sorry.

This

This is all very well and understandable but you can't make them follow your rules in their house. If you don't want your child around it, which is commendable, then you just don't take your child around it.

Having grown up in a similar environment I'd not be attending this event.

As a child you have no control over your environment but you're now an adult.

I refused to be around any family that become aggressive in drink.

So as I said - ‘don’t go’

it’s so simple

Oh come on. Massively OTT. Stay at home if you don’t want people drinking on christmas day. So no-one can have a glass of fizz with their dinner because of your child? If my brother who has a 2yr old requested this i’d laugh so much, and say no, cook your own dinner if not happy

Good grief, don't be so ridiculous! My daughter and son in law are very strict Muslims but even they wouldn't have the timerity to ask us not to drink in our own house.

So don't go.

If people are this drunk and violent you shouldn’t be going to their house for Christmas Day

If you’d tried that with me I’d have told you to FRO. I barely drink, but I will not be dictated to in my own home.

She’s not expecting them to watch her child this time, but she is concerned about the behaviour and atmosphere that her family create when drinking.
I don’t like my brother drinking, he becomes argumentative easily, and it make me
worried having the kids there, he loves them and can be great fun, but if he has a few drinks he will often pick fights with me or other adults and that isn’t nice for my kids to see, maybe op has similar concerns, and it’s not because of alcohol in general.

Obviously you can't. Wow!

Their silence means you have pissed them off ! Surely you can see that !

I'd be telling you to get fucked I'm afraid. In a polite way of course.

You can't control their drinking but you can control your own choices - if you know the atmosphere will turn bad or get too loud etc then you don't need to stay there. Either don't go at all or just stay a few hours and leave before they get loud and confrontational.

Well clearly if they are drinkers and you’re dictating to them that they can’t drink, they are unlikely to have a great time. They are probably now wondering who the heck you think you are laying down the law. If you don’t like the set up then just don’t go. It’s not compulsory.

Err, perhaps their idea of having a lovely Christmas is having a drink during the day!

YABU.

Utterly unrealistic. This is why (amongst other reasons) that I point blank refuse to stay with my mother.