To tell them they can’t drink in their own home?

Not if it was from my single Mum daughter I wouldnt. I’d be asking why and if I agreed that certain family members got agressive and spoilt the atmosphere when drunk then Î’d understand and accomodate. She’s not going to friend’s she’s going home to her parent’s

If they are that badly behaved around alcohol that you’re worried about your child, I just wouldn’t go! Otherwise, you need to suck it up because you’re a guest in their home and have absolutely no authority telling them not to drink. Or even asking.

She says she asked. That's not dictating.

I don't drink alcohol, but I would if someone told me not to in my own home.

Of course it's not unreasonable to ask a favour from your loved ones. It's not like you're forcing them. You can ask people to do anything you want. The unreasonable part only comes in if you react aggressively when they say no.

I'm not a big drinker either and wouldn't care if I never had a drink again, so I do see where you're coming from but even still it's unreasonable to ask this of your family

I’m going to go against the tide tsunami and say that I think you’ve done the right thing in taking a stand on this. It IS unreasonable but if your family’s feelings for your toddler are an opportunity for a bit of a reset, that’s a good thing for all concerned. When my dc were little, it was an opportunity to push back on some unhealthy family dynamics.

Think through your plan B though. It’s always easier to say than do, and when addictions are involved, and the pressures that come with family gatherings, best intentions may not hold.

Well the OP shouldn't go, she can't dictate what people do in their own home..

Generally yabu but also yabu to want to spend time with people who hurt your child while drunk.

I rarely if ever drink but if I received a message like that, I'd be saddling up and heading down the offie to find out What's New in Booze in 2024.

As just about everyone has said, if you are uncomfortable with the way your relatives behave in drink - don't go. But it is beyond unrealistic and totally unreasonable to expect everyone to forego drink at Christmas until your son goes to bed.

Absolutely this.
Drink + Christmas is often a nightmare but it's really an unfair ask

I’d think yabu but equally if I was your relative I would accommodate your yabu so I could see you and your little one.
These early-mum things can become family memories of legend….Remember the year toddlertantrums222 banned alcohol at Christmas...
It does sound like you have one family member who has issues with alcohol so I can see why you are concerned, and why your other family members would therefore understand where your request comes from. Even if it is still a bit mad pfb.

Maybe subconsiously OP is trying to point out that some family members are out of order when they drink. The fact that some guests have already agreed perhaps shows that they agree theres a problem ?

YABVU if you don’t like it don’t go

My in laws drink a lot and fight each other when drunk ( has happened every Christmas for the past few christmassds) and even then I don’t feel it’s reasonable to tell them what they can do in their own house.. when they are at mine I ask my dh to try and reduce the booze offering past a certain point to try and avoid a problem but that’s the reasonable extent of it I think.
it seems booze and Christmas are v interlinked in this country and it’s just the way people do things

If it was your home I’d say no problem, you can state the terms and then let people decide if they want to come or not. In this situation, you are the guest and cannot dictate the terms. You can however choose not to go.

If you are supervising him at all times it should not be a problem.
Obviously I wouldn't leave him in the care of the person who was drinking again .
And if things get high strung you could go to another part of the house/bedroom.
Christmas is a tricky time for people being off work and drinking earlier then normal

This can’t be real.

You will be looking after your child. Why can’t anyone else have a drink?

Are you for real? It’s on you to not go to their house if you don’t like what they do. My mum has a glass or two of wine a few nights per week. I wouldn’t dream of telling her what to do in her own home and I also assume your relatives wouldn’t get blind drunk in the day time for you to complain about

Yes this.

Talk about entitled . Just don’t go.

I'd think you'd been on the Sherry if you even asked me that.

What a ridiculous idea.
You look after your son. It's nobody else's responsibility.
I can't think why anyone would agree to such an entitled request.

I'd be more concerned about normalising the level of drinking that leads to aggressive drunkeness, or even the drunkeness by him observing it. That's not a good example for your son.

You can't ask them not to drink but I don't think you'd be unreasonable to ask them not to get drunk. It sounds like your family has a problem around alcohol. There is a difference between drinking and drinking too much.

I'd just stay home.

Some people do get difficult / agressive when they’re drunk I don’t like being around that either. If this is the reason why then I understand and it’s maybe why two of the guests have agreed already.

YABU
and also hard work.
Watch your child and let people enjoy their Christmas