To tell them they can’t drink in their own home?

Stay sober and look after your own.
Let others do as they wish.

What @Rainingandlookslikeitwillneverstop Said.

You don't know much about problem drinkers if you're relieved by this. Words don't mean anything unless they actually follow through.
I hope for your sake they do, but I wouldn't be counting on it.

This.
Exactly.

"Forbidding" people from having wine with lunch in their own home is a completely out of proportion response to one family member becoming obnoxious when they drink.

Well said. I wish people would understand this there is a significant difference

Chronic anxiety is a mental health problem. Anxiety in and of itself is a normal human emotion. It's entirely reasonable to be anxious about being around aggressive drunks.

@katter Of course it. Anxiety is absolutely a mental health matter

If it's just one person maybe you could ask for family backup in having an open and honest chat with them about it . It'll be affecting all their relationships.

Then the OP doesn't go. It's still unreasonable.

It's not the alcohol , it's the people you're drinking with. I completely understand. My brother and his side of the family and their friends like to get good and pissed nice and early at children's birthday parties for example.

Just don't go if you think it will turn nasty. My brother used to start on me every single time, creating arguments out of nothing when he was drunk. I stopped attending before I had my son, I certainly wouldn't take him to one of their gatherings.
If you do go make sure you have an exit strategy

I do think YABU but I do understand where you’re coming from, too.

It sounds llike they're all bad drunks so Christmas just isn't that great if everyone gets hammered. Don't blame you for wanting to change that dynamic, whether it's for your son or just yourself. But you can't really insist people don't drink in their own home. Good luck and hope it's lovely (and relatively sober, with no fights!).

Whilst I don’t think you can ask people not to drink in their own house, i completely understand why you feel the way you do @Toddlertantrums222
Drunk adults around children is cringe-making at best and inappropriate or even scary at worst. It also creates a really weird atmosphere for anyone not getting drunk.
Hope it goes well for you and your little one.

Erm you are going to be there, right? As long as you are sober then there should be no issues. Unless your family are the type who get pissed at midday and fight each other violently.

Very unreasonable. I would also be very offended if my relative said that to me.

Sorry but I think YABU, if I was concerned about drunken behaviour I just wouldn't go in the first place, or maybe just for lunch Xmas day then leave.

Of course you can't do that. If you're not comfortable in that environment then don't stay for the week

I understand why you don't want people drinking before your son goes to bed. However, it's not for you to try to impose what others can do anywhere other than your own home.

I suspect that the really problematic individual will ignore your request anyway. And that is their right. They may even be worse than normal by having a few quiet drinks on their own before joining the rest of the family.

This is a you problem. If there's a massive drip feed coming about some abuse or drinking issues then don't go, otherwise the world doesn't revolve around you.

@Youhaveyourhandsfull here you are:

Certain family members have history of being aggressive when drunk and having bad moods,
Arguing with anyone and everyone; it’s obviously worse when the 2 problematic people are arguing with each other.
Being very negative, name calling, over dramatic. And also just generally strange behaviour like walking in to a room full of people talking and turning the light off and walking off again.

No you can't, you are being very unreasonable. What you can do is not let drunk people interact with your child. You'll be there yourself the whole time so there is no reason at all to let any of your familymembers watch/babysit your child. And if a person has had one-too-many you can always pick up your baby and take him to your room. But you don't tell people what to do/not do in their own home where you are a guest. This said, I like a glass of wine with a good meal, but I don't consume alcohol if I'll be the main carer for (a) small child(ren) that night. It's a bit like "don't drink&drive. Since you'll be there yourself the whole time the other adults present are not in any way supposed to stay sober for the benefit of your child.

My initial reaction was no, you can't do that. But now I've read all your posts I actually do think you have a point. If certain family members have form for aggressive/unpleasant behaviour when drinking, then as a family you all need to call them out.

"Listen X, Y & Z, you get gobby and obnoxious when you day drink, so stay off the booze until the little kids have gone to bed, or you'll spoil the week for everyone"

You are being a bit precious, but I actually get it, if these few family members are on the ale in the day it'll put you, and probably others, on edge, meaning you won't have a good time, and it sounds like they are the problem, not you, and maybe as a family you all need to supervise their drinking, even on Christmas Day, so they don't get pissed.

(Also, it's not a safeguarding issue if you, and other responsible adults, are caring for your son whilst X, Y & Z are drinking, only if the piss heads are in sole charge of him)

They all folded really quickly OP. If they all like a bit of a daytime drink as much as you say they do, expect lots of Baileys-laced coffees and suspicious looking "mocktails" to be consumed.
Because as the others have said you are of course being unreasonable.

Why exclude Christmas day? If you want to avoid drunken hissy outbursts then your rule should be enforced for every day of your visit.
You child would be no less traumatised if they kick-off on any day of the break.
No logic at all. Arbitary rules will be broken

That's batshit. People aren't raging alcoholics with a drinking problem because some self entitled lunatic wants to impose ludicrous restrictions on how adults act in their own home for a fucking week.

This is a you problem. If there's a massive drip feed coming about some abuse or drinking issues then don't go, otherwise the world doesn't revolve around you.

I think you are unreasonable. You’ve said it’s not everyone so if you have to leave your son to go to the bathroom etc., leave him with a ‘trusted’ family member.
If others do become drunk and aggressive you’ve said it’s a big house, remove yourself and son from that situation and give the host a chance to deal with it. Unless it is the host then you decide if after having some space and things calm down, you are happy to rejoin your family or you would prefer to leave anyway.
I do think you may have created an uncomfortable atmosphere now anyway. Hopefully I’m wrong and you all have a lovely Christmas.

It's because they haven't bothered to read the OP's subsequent posts.