Argument and I feel like I'm going mad

Tell him he's the one being a gaslighting prick. Poor kid being practically dragged along so quickly that he falls.
You probably shouldn't have said what you did but he definitely shouldn't have shouted at his child. Wanker.

Then best to post the full picture or you won't get balanced replies.

“My husband walks very quickly and it was dark and wet”

if a grown man walks very quickly, it can reasonably be assumed that this is too fast for a 6 year old child.

The OP didn't say her husband was storming ahead or that he was dragging the child, you have a fertile imagination. The child might have been tripping/slipping for all sorts of reasons, wet path, looking back at mum, looking at passing traffic or other interesting things, just tired, or goofing around, who knows, but must be the Dad's fault...

Your comment is passive-aggressively placing blame on him. Why say it if not to let him know he’s not as good a parent as you.

The nicer way to address it would have been: “Whoopsy. I think Timmy’s little legs are getting tired. Shall we slow down”?

Sounds like DH was rushing along - maybe for a good reason (eg catching an infrequent train) or maybe because he's grumpy. DC fell. He shouldn't be told off for that, that's mean... But "oh, he doesn't trip with me" isn't helpful, of course theres an implied criticism.

Well that's a positive way forward.

I think your husband was walking too quickly and has ended up dragging your DS, resulting in him tripping up.

I don't need background information to work out that your DH is an impatient and angry man. He was obviously dragging your DS too fast which is why he fell.

Is he always like this or only in certain situations? Is he generally a kind dad to your DS or are his expectations of a 6 year old too high?

Agree to firmly disagree.

@Slidingdowntherainbow you seem very invested in defending the OP.

To reply to your challenge to my points. I agree that if the dad is walking in an unreasonable way (and even more if he is raising his voice at the boy tripping) then it makes sense to criticise him (I even say this in my earlier post and multiple others have confirmed that in this aspect, the man is at fault). The problem in this example is to do so in such a passive aggressive way (rather than eg say directly "I think you are walking too fast for him" or "don't shout- that's not fair on him".... ) and then deny that you ARE criticising. I can understand why that feels like gaslighting to the husband.

The theatre example is revealing. Yes, the dad walking off suggests he may be less socially minded/a bit oblivious. But he took a child with him. It's not like he walked off leaving OP struggling with all the bags/coats/children.... he was doing his bit... and getting out of a theatre can be madness, and frankly big groups just trying to stay together causes more traffic jams. So what he was doing, at worst, was mildly irritating but also practical. The OP's reaction - of shouting after him multiple times and apparently worrying about losing each other is ridiculous, over dramatic. Persistently shouting shows real controlling instincts, because you are basically not giving the other person any option but to do things your way. It's also bloody annoying for all the other people walking past you.

If you've spent any time on Mumsnet, you will know that the tendency is to be massively critical towards the man in most scenarios.... but based on the information given by the OP, it really does sound like she could benefit from thinking about herself.

The fact that she has responded so unreflectively and rigidly to all the people who are trying to give her feedback also reinforces the impression that at least some of the problem lies with her.

I think you were criticising your DH (which is justified as it sounds like he was walking too fast causing your DC to trip) but the unreasonable bit is that you're not owning the criticism by pretending it's a fact.

Next time he's being a shitty parent, tell him directly. And if he doesn't like it, tell him to go fuck himself. Horrible man.

I feel v sorry for your little DS 😥

This.

You don't need to control everything.

I think you both have issues:

Your husband shouldn’t have shouted at your DS for tripping over, that’s nasty.
If DS was repeatedly tripping then either your DH was walking too fast or DS was tired.

Saying ‘he doesn’t do that with me’ IS saying it’s your husband’s fault in an indirect way. it would annoy me too.
I think you could be more direct with your communication then there is no chance of being misunderstanding or being accused of gaslighting. A better thing to say would be ‘DH could you slow down, it’s slippy and DS is tripping’. Or ‘I can see DS is getting tired, shall we both hold his hand’.
(and then if your DH got annoyed at you for saying that the he definitely does have issues and I would be questioning the relationship).

The theatre incident - I think it’s fine for him to wait in the foyer or outside, I don’t know why you were shouting to get him to wait. I wouldn’t shout like that in a theatre. He was probably embarrassed.
He could have waited in the foyer and had a chat to DS about the show until you came down. Also I don’t think it’s great he was staring at his phone tbh, but there may have been a reason.

@Aliceisagooddog YABU.

You may not realise but you are treating your DH like a child and I would hate that too. You're being patronising and passive-aggressive in what you say.

Telling your DH he never trips when he walks with you is saying your DH made him fall.

Shouting at him to wait at the theatre is silly. Just find each other outside. He had a phone. You should have just said "see you outside". You're an adult so he shouldn't have to wait.

It's so annoying when people use the term gaslighting for things that are nothing like gaslighting. 🤦‍♀️ What's his obsession with accusing you of it?

Sounds like this information is needed to fully evaluate the situation.

The theatre thing is ridiculous. It’s almost impossible to stay together when leaving a crowded theatre. So long as each kid is with an adult it doesn’t matter - just meet in the foyer or outside. He was probably embarrassed by you making a scene over nothing.

And the tripping thing definitely sounds like you were accusing him of it being his fault.

You sound a bit of a pita tbh, unless there’s lots of things you’re not telling us.

Leaving an event like a theatre isn't walking off. You cause more issues trying to turn back.

Granted he probably should have turned and looked but really the repeated shouting isn't needed. It implies some kind of crisis or emergency where there is none.

He might be an utter twat, but the theatre behaviour isn't a good example of his twat behaviour.

Because the child is 6 and the parent was in control. He clearly didn’t want to wait for his wife so stormed ahead with his young son in tow who couldn’t keep the pace.

The HUSBAND should have slowed down. Will you normally do anything to avoid seeing fault in a man’s actions? Or just this one so you can have a go at OP?

The husband is an adult, he should have ensured the safety of his child, no dragging him at a fast pace causing him to trip and fall. He, and you, it seems have no compassion for a young child.

Why would someone just walk off without checking if the rest of their family is able to follow?

he clearly heard her but didn’t want to acknowledge it (even with a glance back) so instead ignored her then had a go at her for calling after.

OP - please don’t take what these posters are saying, mumsnet posters love to blame the OP as a form of being contrary and having one up. It’s obvious that your husbands communication is off and he doesn’t amend his behaviour for the people around him. He does whatever he wants and when he’s called out, he gets angry. That’s not normal or kind and you don’t have to put up with it.

Is he good to your kids? Does he treat them with respect and kindness usually?

Why couldn't the child walk between them holding a hand each if the conditions were treacherous and the child was tripping over? Or if the mum was so much better walking with the child why wasn't she walking with them? Was DH too tall to hold hands comfortably causing child to stumble? Whatever, no need for any fact stating (blame).

The theatre example you're definitely wrong. Why wouldn't you meet outside or j in the foyer instinctively? No one needs shouting at in public to do that.