Posting for traffic, but wondered if anyone else has felt like this after having a baby or if I’m just going slightly crazy.
I am a first time Mum to nearly 10 month old DC. I haven’t had that many evenings out without them but I have had a few, and although I do enjoy the ‘freedom’, I just don’t feel quite right the whole time I’m out.
I don’t mean that I just miss DC (which I do!) or that I’m anxious they’re ok (which I am a bit). I feel quite strange/lonely, even if I’m with family or friends I know well. It’s mostly when I’m with people who either have much older children or don’t have children. It’s as if I feel like I’m the only one worried about a small DC and everyone else must be so relaxed, will get a good night’s sleep etc.
The other night I was at a Christmas drinks evening with some friends. A couple have older children and a few have no children yet. I was sat there as it got to about 10pm and just couldn’t relax, I felt tired and just kept worrying about how little sleep I’d probably get when I got home and DC would likely wake in the night. I was looking at them thinking, our lives are so different. It was almost like an out of body experience, I was enjoying myself on the surface but just felt strange.
It’s almost as if these times when I should be jumping for joy to have a child free evening, I just feel slightly anxious and strange and only feel ok again once I am back with DC, or at least at home and watching them sleeping peacefully on the monitor.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? It’s so hard to explain the feeling, a kind of loneliness/homesickness when I am away from DC when I should be enjoying my freedom. I don’t feel like this with Mums of similar age babies, maybe because we are sharing experiences.
Just concerned I will never be able to relax away from DC and that my social battery is depleted! I used to love going out!