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Original poster

To be fed up of friends negative comments?

62 replies

dfleutr · 21/12/2024 19:02

I decided to go blonde two years ago, wasn’t a great decision as it took a long time to get to the specific shade I wanted and it was expensive.

Tired of toning my hair every week. I decided to go back to my natural colour and I got extensions and I felt fantastic.

Met up with friends last night and it was the first time seeing me with dark hair. Everyone said it was lovely and friend mumbled it was nice.

Later on she brought up my hair and said “but all that money you spent on going blonde” … I’m well aware of how much k spent and I also had it for 2 years and very much felt done.

I don’t need compliments and being told it looked nice for a good enough comment for me, but it frustrated me it had to be followed up with something negative. She’s done this quite a few times.

OP posts:
BeLilacSloth · 21/12/2024 20:49

dfleutr · 21/12/2024 20:48

Never said I spent £300 a week on my hair.

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But £300 a month on your hair is ridiculous, if a friend mentioning your hair an hour later is all your have to worry about in life then it sounds like you’re doing pretty well!

Original poster
dfleutr · 21/12/2024 20:49

BeLilacSloth · 21/12/2024 20:44

What is this about then? Seeing as me and everyone else on this thread has ‘painfully missed the point’

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No thankfully a handful of people have got it. I just genuinely have zero idea why you think I believe my friend cares what hair colour I have.

OP posts:
Original poster
dfleutr · 21/12/2024 20:48

BlueSky2023 · 21/12/2024 20:44

Could you explain how you were spending 300 every week on your hair, what exactly were you doing?

Never said I spent £300 a week on my hair.

OP posts:
Original poster
dfleutr · 21/12/2024 20:47

Tittat50 · 21/12/2024 20:28

The people on MN never disappoint. Only here can your reality be consistently denied 😆.

You don't like it because she has form. Your instinct picked up something in her comment. It is snide tbh. Whether it's intentional to make you feel bad or is she just thoughtless, only you know. I can't tell from that alone. Some people are just tactless rather than being cruel.

The best response to this is to either pretend you didn't hear it and start talking about something else or if you have to say something just say, erm yep. That's enough and then move on.

Thank the Lord for you! I thought I was going crazy with these responses.

I have a friend that changes their car constantly. If I see she has a new car, I’ll just say “ooh like the new car”. I don’t then randomly say an hour later “but you spent so much on your last car”.

I’m just happy for my friend that she’s changed her car. I don’t need to randomly follow it up an hour later saying “but you spent so much on your last car”

OP posts:
BlueSky2023 · 21/12/2024 20:44

Could you explain how you were spending 300 every week on your hair, what exactly were you doing?

BeLilacSloth · 21/12/2024 20:44

dfleutr · 21/12/2024 20:42

At no point have I said anyone cares what hair colour I have. If you think this is about colour then the point has been painfully missed.

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What is this about then? Seeing as me and everyone else on this thread has ‘painfully missed the point’

Original poster
dfleutr · 21/12/2024 20:42

BeLilacSloth · 21/12/2024 20:39

OP, surely the only person who cares about your hair is you, I really don’t think your friends feel that deeply about what colour your hair is…

At no point have I said anyone cares what hair colour I have. If you think this is about colour then the point has been painfully missed.

OP posts:
Original poster
dfleutr · 21/12/2024 20:41

Radishknot · 21/12/2024 20:17

Some of my friends comment on how much I spend on shoes, it’s never offended me!

You’re missing the point.

OP posts:
BeLilacSloth · 21/12/2024 20:39

OP, surely the only person who cares about your hair is you, I really don’t think your friends feel that deeply about what colour your hair is…

Dishwashersaurous · 21/12/2024 20:31

I think it's more that in real life people aren't friends with people that they actually don't seem to like.

Whereas on mumsnet it seems to be completely normal to spend time with and consider people friends that you don't actually like

Tittat50 · 21/12/2024 20:28

The people on MN never disappoint. Only here can your reality be consistently denied 😆.

You don't like it because she has form. Your instinct picked up something in her comment. It is snide tbh. Whether it's intentional to make you feel bad or is she just thoughtless, only you know. I can't tell from that alone. Some people are just tactless rather than being cruel.

The best response to this is to either pretend you didn't hear it and start talking about something else or if you have to say something just say, erm yep. That's enough and then move on.

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 21/12/2024 20:23

dfleutr · 21/12/2024 20:12

Not really. £300 every month + salon products on hair isn’t ideal but it’s affordable. Between appointments I’d tone it myself. Overall it’s just too much maintenance for me to spend 8 hours a week just on hair.

I loved the blonde but I equally love the dark hair. And I think after two years most people like to change up their looks.

Other way around I’d just compliment a friend, I wouldn’t feel the need to bring finance into it when the cost has had nothing to do with me.

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It took you two years at £300 a month to go blonde?

You’ve been well and truly mugged off.

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 21/12/2024 20:22

Not everyone’s going to like your hair.

EmberAsh · 21/12/2024 20:20

It's not negative to comment on cost. You're hugely overreacting.

ChristmasinBrighton · 21/12/2024 20:19

Did you post about this a few weeks ago, complaining nobody had commented on it?

Margorett · 21/12/2024 20:18

She hasn't said anything negative, you're being totally unreasonable and sound hyper sensitive !

Radishknot · 21/12/2024 20:17

Some of my friends comment on how much I spend on shoes, it’s never offended me!

LetsNCagain · 21/12/2024 20:15

How did she know how much you'd spent on it?

I've never dyed my hair so I'd have no idea how much it cost, I had no idea it was hundreds every month

arcticpandas · 21/12/2024 20:15

She was just making an observation. I would have just laughed and said "I know, it's crazy". Would definitely not have been offended if a friend said this.

Original poster
dfleutr · 21/12/2024 20:12

snowyglobe · 21/12/2024 19:35

Sometimes the truth hurts.

Not really. £300 every month + salon products on hair isn’t ideal but it’s affordable. Between appointments I’d tone it myself. Overall it’s just too much maintenance for me to spend 8 hours a week just on hair.

I loved the blonde but I equally love the dark hair. And I think after two years most people like to change up their looks.

Other way around I’d just compliment a friend, I wouldn’t feel the need to bring finance into it when the cost has had nothing to do with me.

OP posts:
xyz111 · 21/12/2024 19:55

The title suggests she does this all the time?

Dishwashersaurous · 21/12/2024 19:36

Sounds like she was just making an observation, and having a conversation.

snowyglobe · 21/12/2024 19:35

Sometimes the truth hurts.

Birdscratch · 21/12/2024 19:35

She sounds like a bit of a Negative Nelly as she has form for this type of comment but it wouldn’t get to you so much if you were more confident about your decisions.

Original poster
dfleutr · 21/12/2024 19:34

LadyQuackBeth · 21/12/2024 19:26

Have you kept her informed along the way, every attempt to get the exact right shade etc?

You've switched from taking your hair very seriously and acting like there's a perfect colour, to someone who plays around with their hair. Neither approach is wrong but I'd be surprised to spend years listening to someone dissect different blonde tones who then just switched to dark on a whim.

She's just surprised, was probably relieved when you found the right colour and would maybe move on to not needing compliments and as much hair chat. She hasn't actually been negative, just not enthusiastic. If you like your hair - that's great, I hope you enjoy it enough to not need other people to care.

I mean you’ve just assumed all of this?

Why would I have kept her updated on my hair at any point? I really don’t think anyone gives a shit about my hair but me.

Taking my hair seriously?? What?

Acted like it was my perfect colour? Acted to who?

I never switched to dark on a whim. It took me months to decide actually.

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