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Original poster

Xmas meal

82 replies

Ljjov · 21/12/2024 18:52

So my brother is very kindly hosting us and my parents over for Xmas. They are vegetarian, we are. In this case, they will have a nut roast as the main alternative to a turkey. The snag is that my immediate family are all allergic to nuts. DH thinks it's rude of them to have it as the main - am less bothered. Am sure my brother doesnt see it as rude - they just arent as bothered about allergies. DH and DDs allergies are severe enough that if they accidentally ingested nuts- they will need an epipen.

OP posts:
Livinginadream · 21/12/2024 19:27

ShortyShorts · 21/12/2024 18:57

So you'd rather risk your daughter and husband dying a horrible death, than stay home and cook your own dinner?

Nah, not having it.

She said would need an EpiPen not instantly drop dead..

Loopylu60 · 21/12/2024 19:27

Why would anyone with an anaphylactic allergy be cavalier with his and his child’s allergy?

Trickabrick · 21/12/2024 19:26

Vaxtable · 21/12/2024 19:20

I am horrified by your lax thoughts on this, your husband and child could have such a severe reaction they die and you don’t seem concerned

i would be telling your brother you won’t be coming and do a meal at home. It’s not just the nut roast, it’s cross contamination from utensils, plates etc

Totally this, how can you not know how dangerous this is!

Dishwashersaurous · 21/12/2024 19:24

This is so unacceptable it's shocking that anyone would think its ok. Unless they have really good cleaning and have everything separated then of course there's a risk that a nut could accidentally be eaten.

Do they actually understand how serious the allergy is? That they could die?

Pancakeflipper · 21/12/2024 19:22

Why on earth are you going to sit at a table that could hospitalise/kill.members of your family? And a table where they sit and eat nothing?

Tell them no and do your Xmas meal.

MumChp · 21/12/2024 19:21

I wouldn't risk it and stay home.

Vaxtable · 21/12/2024 19:20

I am horrified by your lax thoughts on this, your husband and child could have such a severe reaction they die and you don’t seem concerned

i would be telling your brother you won’t be coming and do a meal at home. It’s not just the nut roast, it’s cross contamination from utensils, plates etc

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 21/12/2024 19:18

Both dd and I have (difeerent) anaphylaxis food allergies.

Your brother is putting your dh and dds lives at risk. What the hell has possessed him to do nut roast when there are allergies to juts?

It will he everywhere, on their skin, in surfaces, in the air.

I wouldn't be going anywhere near frankly.

Rude is an understatement quite honestly

jackstini · 21/12/2024 19:17

I'm presuming OP is asking if she IBU tongue in cheek - playing devils advocate for her brother

It's bloody obvious they cannot do this and they still go!

OP,
Either they change the menu or you stay at home

purplecorkheart · 21/12/2024 19:17

OP from your post "am less bothered". Are you talking about yourself? Please tell me you are not. If your child's allergy is that serious and that is your attitude you should not be their caregiver. At least your dh is an adult.

TwinkleLights24 · 21/12/2024 19:16

I would stay home.

purplecorkheart · 21/12/2024 19:14

Has your brother heard of cross contamination? Can you trust him not to poke the nut roast with a knife and then poke the carrots to check if it is cooked.

No way I would be bringing my family to your brother's house for Christmas dinner if he is considering serving Nut Roast to people who are allergic. Allergies tend to get worse as time goes on.

Katemax82 · 21/12/2024 19:06

My son is highly allergic to cashews and I would have a huge problem if I went to a dinner and cashews got served

ApolloandDaphne · 21/12/2024 19:06

Good lord. Just swerve the family dinner. Better that than a potentially dead family member.

Bournetilly · 21/12/2024 19:05

It is really rude of them, I wouldn’t risk it.

Emmadaily · 21/12/2024 19:04

Unbelievable.
Terrible choice for a family meal knowing of the possible dangerous reaction.
I would definitely not be going.

sloecat · 21/12/2024 19:03

Ljjov · 21/12/2024 19:01

Trouble is DH is actually pretty cavalier himself over it. Plus my parents usually have nuts whenever it's family dinners...and just say we don't have to eat them.

It’s fine for your DH to knowingly take risks. It isn’t fine to expose your children to them.

ShortyShorts · 21/12/2024 19:03

Ljjov · 21/12/2024 19:01

Trouble is DH is actually pretty cavalier himself over it. Plus my parents usually have nuts whenever it's family dinners...and just say we don't have to eat them.

Yeah, what does your daughter's life matter, as long as the roasties are good 🙄

Gatecrashermum · 21/12/2024 19:03

Good lord, team DH!!!

I'm horrified by your brother and parents "aren't so bothered about allergies".....these are potentially fatal allergies your children have. How can their relatives not care? Do they not really believe them? In which case I bet they will be completely cavalier about cross contamination.

The rules of hosting people with allergies is you don't cook them when those guests are present. It's too bloody dangerous!

I'd say you could skip the meal and just visit for mince pies but honestly if they were my children I wouldn't take them into a house where people had been eating nuts.

There are so many other options for a main! Stay away! If they want to see you they can cook less deathly food.

DarkAndTwisties · 21/12/2024 19:02

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/12/2024 18:59

DH thinks it's rude of them to have it as the main

#Team DH

Having to police who uses what spoon to avoid anaphylaxis at Christmas? Sounds not fun.

I agree. If I was him I'd be staying home with the children.

Dollshousedolly · 21/12/2024 19:02

I don’t believe this. I can’t believe that you would expect your husband and daughter who have severe allergies to nuts to sit at a table with people eating a nut roast. Do you really not care for either of them?

ShortyShorts · 21/12/2024 19:01

Ljjov · 21/12/2024 18:59

I guess that am currently debating whether to have a fight over it with my brother. He only just told us the menu because I asked whether we should bring anything.

Unbelievable.

There should be no debate.

You just won't be going (assuming you're being serious of cousre).

Original poster
Ljjov · 21/12/2024 19:01

Trouble is DH is actually pretty cavalier himself over it. Plus my parents usually have nuts whenever it's family dinners...and just say we don't have to eat them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ljjov · 21/12/2024 18:59

I guess that am currently debating whether to have a fight over it with my brother. He only just told us the menu because I asked whether we should bring anything.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 21/12/2024 18:59

DH thinks it's rude of them to have it as the main

#Team DH

Having to police who uses what spoon to avoid anaphylaxis at Christmas? Sounds not fun.