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AIBU?

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Original poster

Baby gates and under 2s

41 replies

LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 13:26

I've got a mum friend who has a 20 month old toddler. He can apparently open baby gates and doors. I guess he can reach doors to open them but I thought baby gates were a lot harder because they require the opener to be slid to the left and lifted up, in that order and without a break?

She's a friend of a friend and find she bends the truth alot. So no sure if it's just my dislike for her picking this up as another lie or not.

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flyinghen · 21/12/2024 18:49

My 20 month old can open doors but she couldn't do a baby gate

nannynick · 21/12/2024 18:31

Even if they can open it, and/or are good at going down stairs, I would still have one at top of stairs. It forms a delay, so should they make a run for it following getting dressed, there is a delay to their speedy decent downstairs, and reduces risk of them stopping suddenly at top of stairs and due to being top heavy them falling down the stairs head over heals.

Tooes · 21/12/2024 18:04

LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 13:37

But weird you don't understand threads or people....

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Please enlighten me. And the rest who voted 100% YABU at the time of writing.

Original poster
LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 14:36

Wonderingpigeon · 21/12/2024 14:15

Again depends on child. My friends boy would pull out a box, climb on it to hop over. Or once I saw him monkey climb using his feet to grip up the bars 😅 guess taller one without bars? You can get screen ones if your child is like my friends boy
My DD that wouldn't cross her mind at all and she is behind in milestones and tiny.

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Screen ones aren't recommended for top of the stairs

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Original poster
LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 14:35

Ah right so it's not all babies will try it! Sorry I misread

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Wonderingpigeon · 21/12/2024 14:16

LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 14:15

Mental?

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Yesss that's what saw my friends boy do! It's wild 😂

Original poster
LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 14:15

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 21/12/2024 14:02

My son can climb the baby gate by gripping the bars between his toes. He's 14m. He's also deconstructed the child lock on the kitchen cupboard.

But not all babies are mental.

Mental?

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Wonderingpigeon · 21/12/2024 14:15

LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 13:34

What if it is a taller room divider, 105cm tall. What age do you think it would keep them from escaping? A room divider is a baby gate but just in sections.

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Again depends on child. My friends boy would pull out a box, climb on it to hop over. Or once I saw him monkey climb using his feet to grip up the bars 😅 guess taller one without bars? You can get screen ones if your child is like my friends boy
My DD that wouldn't cross her mind at all and she is behind in milestones and tiny.

Original poster
LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 14:15

Jingleberryalltheway · 21/12/2024 14:09

If they can climb over them then they’re more dangerous than not having them. By 3 I would expect children to be able to safely walk up and down stairs by themsleves.

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Ok I'll cross that bridge when I get to it!

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Jingleberryalltheway · 21/12/2024 14:09

LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 13:35

Ah right I was thinking maybe they would be ok until 3/4? I'm trying to think of family members and what they did.

My mum can't remember having baby gates so goodness knows that we did lol

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If they can climb over them then they’re more dangerous than not having them. By 3 I would expect children to be able to safely walk up and down stairs by themsleves.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 21/12/2024 14:02

My son can climb the baby gate by gripping the bars between his toes. He's 14m. He's also deconstructed the child lock on the kitchen cupboard.

But not all babies are mental.

Original poster
LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 13:57

CrispyCrumpets · 21/12/2024 13:41

We never had an issue with toddlers getting gates open. They were removed when they were 2 and the threat of climbing became more dangerous. A child under 2 is always going to be close to their parent when they are in the house, so you can hear them if they are rattling it and banging it about. Babies are surprisingly good at climbing upstairs, the greater danger is them trying to go back down, which they aren't so good at.

So good to have a baby gate at stairs? Can get ones 105cm tall and hard to open

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Original poster
LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 13:57

Thank you for the info about age and climbing over.

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HPandthelastwish · 21/12/2024 13:42

Stair gates aren't recommended after 2, you certainly don't need them for a 4 year old. You just teach them how to go up by crawling and down on their bottom until they can manage the step height properly.

CrispyCrumpets · 21/12/2024 13:41

We never had an issue with toddlers getting gates open. They were removed when they were 2 and the threat of climbing became more dangerous. A child under 2 is always going to be close to their parent when they are in the house, so you can hear them if they are rattling it and banging it about. Babies are surprisingly good at climbing upstairs, the greater danger is them trying to go back down, which they aren't so good at.

SnapdragonToadflax · 21/12/2024 13:40

The lock on ours was really stiff, it was tricky for an adult to do one handed and our child never managed to get into it despite many hours investigating.

BertieBotts · 21/12/2024 13:39

I think you are 100% overthinking this. Keep the set up you have and if you think your DC is getting close to working it out, then first analyse if you even need a gate there, and if you do, look for another solution.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 21/12/2024 13:38

My DN is 2.5 and can open the baby gate, although not quickly so it is only an issue if he’s left unsupervised for several minutes.

My 75-year-old mother still can’t open the baby gate despite being shown multiple times and makes a big performance of having to climb over it any time she wants to use the stairs.

Original poster
LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 13:37

Tooes · 21/12/2024 13:35

Bit of a weird thing to call a stranger a liar about it, and go posting about it in a forum full of strangers...

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But weird you don't understand threads or people....

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Original poster
LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 13:36

Bearbookagainandagain · 21/12/2024 13:35

Do you know what kind of baby gates she has?

There is no chance any kids would open ours when they are locked. It's a press and lift system, even if they could figure out how to lift the gate they would never have the finger strength to press the button to unlock it.

But I have seen some much easier to open. For instance our nursery has one to separate 2 areas which is just lift and push, our 3 yo opens it easily. I have also seen some that I think we're designed for pets rather than children with no real locking system.

Not sure. She sends about 20 messages to my one liner and she not clear in what she is trying to communicate.

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Tooes · 21/12/2024 13:35

LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 13:32

Bit of a weird comparison....

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Bit of a weird thing to call a stranger a liar about it, and go posting about it in a forum full of strangers...

Original poster
LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 13:35

BertieBotts · 21/12/2024 13:34

We had one which you had to push in a button with your thumb and that would allow you to lift up the handle. If you used one hand it was doable but tricky, with two hands it was really easy. Also you only had to lift the handle slightly to let go of the button as then the fact the handle was up would keep the button depressed. Really easy for a curious and determined toddler to figure out! I just distracted mine if I saw them trying to do it so they would never quite get there, DS2 got it at about 3 but was OK to go in and out of the kitchen on his own by then anyway.

Ah right. Yes the ones I have are really hard to open.

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Bearbookagainandagain · 21/12/2024 13:35

Do you know what kind of baby gates she has?

There is no chance any kids would open ours when they are locked. It's a press and lift system, even if they could figure out how to lift the gate they would never have the finger strength to press the button to unlock it.

But I have seen some much easier to open. For instance our nursery has one to separate 2 areas which is just lift and push, our 3 yo opens it easily. I have also seen some that I think we're designed for pets rather than children with no real locking system.

Original poster
LoftyTealSwan · 21/12/2024 13:35

Jingleberryalltheway · 21/12/2024 13:33

I’m well past baby gates (youngest is 5) I seem to remember a button to press in as you lifted the handle. I had tall children and climbers so not long after they turned 5 I removed them anyway.

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Ah right I was thinking maybe they would be ok until 3/4? I'm trying to think of family members and what they did.

My mum can't remember having baby gates so goodness knows that we did lol

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