Page 2 | Teenage son unreasonable expectations

buttonousmaximous · 21/12/2024 21:07

He's in love with her. It's very potent at that age. Try to include her in your family. And keeping including him even if he rejects it.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 21/12/2024 20:55

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 20:53

In my partner's flat not my mother's house I have respect for my parents.

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But no respect for his flat obviously

Because daring to be intimate with someone is disrespectful

MartinCrieffsLemon · 21/12/2024 20:55

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 20:52

My daughter is upset that I am not buying into her boyfriend or taking it seriously. What if it ends then what I would have bought into it. She has 1 and half years at university left that's all I care about.

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FFS
You support your daughter because you love her!
Yes, relationships break down. But that's WHY you shouldn't burn bridges with her. So she has someone to rely on if things go bad

Mother of the fucking year here everyone

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 20:53

MartinCrieffsLemon · 21/12/2024 20:41

I take it you conceived them in the back of a car then...

Since wanting to be intimate with a partner is disrespectful of the home

Not to worry, sounds like your children will happily leave "properly" and want nothing more to do with you.

Your attitude is vile

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In my partner's flat not my mother's house I have respect for my parents.

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 20:52

MartinCrieffsLemon · 21/12/2024 20:44

Sounds like you're pretty vile to your daughters and they'll all be glad to be rid of you and your complete disregard for them

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My daughter is upset that I am not buying into her boyfriend or taking it seriously. What if it ends then what I would have bought into it. She has 1 and half years at university left that's all I care about.

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 20:44

Dueanamechange2025 · 21/12/2024 20:41

Wow, you sound like an absolute fucking delight!

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I am doing well thank you.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 21/12/2024 20:44

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 20:43

My brother treated my mother like that all loyalty went the other way. Then again men do gi to the other side.

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Sounds like you're pretty vile to your daughters and they'll all be glad to be rid of you and your complete disregard for them

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 20:43

MartinCrieffsLemon · 21/12/2024 19:23

From their replies here I get the feeling they hold some deep resentment and bitterness towards 18 year olds being at home

We have no idea if he's paying anything, contributing to household chores when he is at home, helping out at hers, paying her family or anything but the PP has decided he is a freeloader who should be abandoned because he dares to want to be with his girlfriend and possibly be intimate

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My brother treated my mother like that all loyalty went the other way. Then again men do gi to the other side.

itsjustbiology · 21/12/2024 20:43

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 20:36

That's your opinion my girls could never bring home a boyfriend and do all that business. It's about having boundaries and respect for your home. I have 4 children and it's run like a tight ship because I have a 9 year old to think about. I tell all my children don't bring shit to my door and when you leave do it properly. I tell all my children don't rely on no woman or man for food, money or roof.

He shouldn't treat his mother like that and if he doesn't like it and wants to be with the other family then he should leave. He doesn't want to share his time between his GF and his family it's all one way. Later on op will get a short sharp shock if she don't put her foot down now. My daughter had to move out to start her fuckery at 20 it's like dealing with a sulky teenager. They will always be your children but when they get to that age fuck em if they want to play about. The op ain't getting any younger and neither am I. Start making plans op for your future.

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WTAF are you on about? Jesus wept...

Dueanamechange2025 · 21/12/2024 20:41

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 20:36

That's your opinion my girls could never bring home a boyfriend and do all that business. It's about having boundaries and respect for your home. I have 4 children and it's run like a tight ship because I have a 9 year old to think about. I tell all my children don't bring shit to my door and when you leave do it properly. I tell all my children don't rely on no woman or man for food, money or roof.

He shouldn't treat his mother like that and if he doesn't like it and wants to be with the other family then he should leave. He doesn't want to share his time between his GF and his family it's all one way. Later on op will get a short sharp shock if she don't put her foot down now. My daughter had to move out to start her fuckery at 20 it's like dealing with a sulky teenager. They will always be your children but when they get to that age fuck em if they want to play about. The op ain't getting any younger and neither am I. Start making plans op for your future.

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Wow, you sound like an absolute fucking delight!

MartinCrieffsLemon · 21/12/2024 20:41

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 20:36

That's your opinion my girls could never bring home a boyfriend and do all that business. It's about having boundaries and respect for your home. I have 4 children and it's run like a tight ship because I have a 9 year old to think about. I tell all my children don't bring shit to my door and when you leave do it properly. I tell all my children don't rely on no woman or man for food, money or roof.

He shouldn't treat his mother like that and if he doesn't like it and wants to be with the other family then he should leave. He doesn't want to share his time between his GF and his family it's all one way. Later on op will get a short sharp shock if she don't put her foot down now. My daughter had to move out to start her fuckery at 20 it's like dealing with a sulky teenager. They will always be your children but when they get to that age fuck em if they want to play about. The op ain't getting any younger and neither am I. Start making plans op for your future.

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I take it you conceived them in the back of a car then...

Since wanting to be intimate with a partner is disrespectful of the home

Not to worry, sounds like your children will happily leave "properly" and want nothing more to do with you.

Your attitude is vile

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 20:36

Wonderi · 21/12/2024 17:20

What an odd thing to say.

He’s 18 and lives with his parents.

Would you rather he didn’t have sex or move out of his home because he’s now got a girlfriend.

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That's your opinion my girls could never bring home a boyfriend and do all that business. It's about having boundaries and respect for your home. I have 4 children and it's run like a tight ship because I have a 9 year old to think about. I tell all my children don't bring shit to my door and when you leave do it properly. I tell all my children don't rely on no woman or man for food, money or roof.

He shouldn't treat his mother like that and if he doesn't like it and wants to be with the other family then he should leave. He doesn't want to share his time between his GF and his family it's all one way. Later on op will get a short sharp shock if she don't put her foot down now. My daughter had to move out to start her fuckery at 20 it's like dealing with a sulky teenager. They will always be your children but when they get to that age fuck em if they want to play about. The op ain't getting any younger and neither am I. Start making plans op for your future.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 21/12/2024 20:33

asthecrowdwaschantingmore · 21/12/2024 12:21

I'd be hurt, too.

And for everyone who thinks he should be 'left to it', I imagine her family has made it clear they see her at Christmas at her age, and probably still being supported by family. But for some reason that's okay for her family but not his?

But that's just your assumption
There's literally no proof she is being forced to go to hers.
If anything it looks like OP's DS is more comfortable at her house and has accepted an invite because that's where he spends his time anyway

Wonderi · 21/12/2024 20:29

MartinCrieffsLemon · 21/12/2024 19:23

From their replies here I get the feeling they hold some deep resentment and bitterness towards 18 year olds being at home

We have no idea if he's paying anything, contributing to household chores when he is at home, helping out at hers, paying her family or anything but the PP has decided he is a freeloader who should be abandoned because he dares to want to be with his girlfriend and possibly be intimate

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I completely agree.

OP says he works hard, goes to college and only has 1 day off.

She’s not said he does anything wrong apart from see his gf, which is completely normal and yet posters are acting like he’s the worst person in the world.

He lives at home so it’s not like they never see him.

HelloWorldItsNiceToMeetYou · 21/12/2024 19:30

BilboBlaggin · 21/12/2024 11:21

Sounds like quite a busy household if you have 5 kids. Maybe he finds it calmer and quieter at his GF place? Does he have his own private space/bedroom at yours?

Either way, he's almost 18 and at this age he's wanting to do his own thing. You need to cut the apron strings and let him live his life. You can't expect him and the whole family to be together every Christmas once they're older.

I was thinking it might be about the space to spend time alone

MartinCrieffsLemon · 21/12/2024 19:23

Wonderi · 21/12/2024 17:20

What an odd thing to say.

He’s 18 and lives with his parents.

Would you rather he didn’t have sex or move out of his home because he’s now got a girlfriend.

Show quote history

From their replies here I get the feeling they hold some deep resentment and bitterness towards 18 year olds being at home

We have no idea if he's paying anything, contributing to household chores when he is at home, helping out at hers, paying her family or anything but the PP has decided he is a freeloader who should be abandoned because he dares to want to be with his girlfriend and possibly be intimate

Jingleberryalltheway · 21/12/2024 17:23

Why haven’t you met her? Surely in 9 months you done some thing as family eg gone out for dinner for someone birthday or gone some where nice for the day and invited them both along.

Wonderi · 21/12/2024 17:20

ThatRareUmberJoker · 21/12/2024 15:41

you must assume he is happy and that is all I ever want for my child.

When it's free and given to him on a plate of course he's happy. He has his hotel to return back to and his GF bedroom to get freaky in while the mum and dad are downstairs.

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What an odd thing to say.

He’s 18 and lives with his parents.

Would you rather he didn’t have sex or move out of his home because he’s now got a girlfriend.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 21/12/2024 16:41

Probably has to fight for attention with 4 siblings at home. Let him get a little attention at his GF's...

RawBloomers · 21/12/2024 16:27

OP you say you have to consider everyone else’s feelings so I’m wondering - What are his feelings? When you’ve talked to him about his GF, what does he say about her? Why does he like her family?

Nine months and you haven’t met her. Do you know why? Why doesn’t he want to show off his family to her or to show her off to you? Or has he wanted to but feels he can’t for some reason?

Generally speaking, I agree with many other posters that it’s easy to have your head turned at that age. It may be just that he’s thinking with his dick, but I think it’s also possible he’s having his head turned by a lifestyle he isn’t used to. It may be worth seeing if your relationship with him could be stronger, and remind him of what he loves about your family. He may just need a bit of time or for you to be there if this relationship falls through (which it likely will at that age).

Sharptonguedwoman · 21/12/2024 16:09

FlakyPeachPanda · 21/12/2024 11:10

Eldest son is nearly 18 and does not choose to spend time with us and his 4 siblings ever. Has a gf who lives an hour away and would rather travel and play happy families with her brother, mum and dad. Even visits her nan with her. Works hard and has 1 day off over Christmas now college has broken up and that 1 day off he expected to go and spend with her family. I'm so upset he doesn't see a problem with it. They even invited him for Christmas day and he didn't understand why I was annoyed. 9 month relationship, we've never met gf or her family. I'm hurt. He just sees me as wanting to upset him and thinks I don't care about his feelings. I have to consider everyone's feelings as well as my own and Christmas is so important to us all as a family. Thoughts please?

At that age or a little older, I preferred to spend time at boyfriend's house. No expectations from his family apart from a little kitchen help and no criticisms given or explanations demanded. Both expectations and criticisms were in plentiful supply at home. As others have said, it was more peaceful and therefore enjoyable.
Your boy will come home. He's stretching his wings.

Tittat50 · 21/12/2024 16:03

Just leave him be. He's 18. He's old enough. You're putting your own needs too much onto him. It's ok to feel this way but just recognise it's your feelings and he needs freedom at 18.

He probably likes the space and quiet there.

strawberrysea · 21/12/2024 16:01

As he gets older Christmas will he important to him and the family he creates, too. It must really hurt that he's getting older and making his own decisions but maybe work on your feelings regarding this now before he gets married.

WaitingforStrike · 21/12/2024 15:56

WomensRightsRenegade · 21/12/2024 15:48

It’s not madness at all. It’s a teen relationship of 9 months.

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I have a teen, who has had a girlfriend. It would be different if neither of them have been to each other's houses, but if your son is a regular visitor to her house surely you would want to have the chance to meet her, and her you.

ssd · 21/12/2024 15:56

If he's always at his gf house i presume they will be feeding him a lot. So you should make sure he reciprocates. Nothing worse than being eaten out of house and home and never getting payback.