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Original poster

Did I do the wrong thing keeping newborn’s hands covered ?

189 replies

Flowersandforests · 21/12/2024 08:27

I’m a first time mum and MIL is making me start to doubt myself… my baby was born with quite sharp nails and scratched her face in the first night in hospital. Because of this & because I was nervous to try and cut her nails / between constant nappies and feeding it wasn’t top of my priority list, I used the inbuilt mitts on her baby grows and generally kept her hands covered for the first 5-6 weeks.

Shes now 12 weeks old so hasn’t had her hands covered for a while but every time MIL has seen her she’s made comments about how nice it is to see her hands and saying to the baby things like oh mummy kept your hands covered so grandma couldn’t see your hands etc.

Last night SiL was round and make a big deal about her hands not being covered now so clearly her and Mil have been talking about it.

It’s making me panic that I did the wrong thing? Should I have kept her hands uncovered straight away?

OP posts:
creamsnugjumper · 21/12/2024 08:37

Your DH needs to be aware of the comment, and how they made you feel, and he needs to step in fast.

He needs to say "I don't appreciate you speaking to xxx this way about the babies hands being covered, keep your comments to yourself"

This passive aggressive behaviour will get worse and always aimed at the mum when she's at her weakest.

I hope he will step up, and protect you from these stupid women.

napody · 21/12/2024 08:37

BobblyGreyJumper · 21/12/2024 08:29

Your MIL sounds like a passive aggressive nightmare. I can’t bear people (usually mothers or mils) who talk to the baby in order to criticise the parents. Does she say it in front of your DH? I’d ask him to stop her next time she makes one of those comments and stand up for you, tell MIL you’re doing a great job and there no need for the comments.

You're so right. Second only to talking 'as' the baby: "mean mummy won't let me...." fortunately not my MIL but I've seen it!

'mummy kept your hands covered so grandma couldn’t see your hands etc.'
I'd be a bit sharp with this: 'it's not all about you, grandma!' But I appreciate that's not always possible. Please don't let them make you question your decisions as a mother. Keep a distance or ask DH to be on the alert for it if you need to.

Namechangeforthis88 · 21/12/2024 08:36

Side note, DBIL and DSIL were nervous about clipping nephew's nails and he did get a tiny cut, he's 21 now and I still remember! Don't blame you for putting it off.

Itsallfunngamesuntil · 21/12/2024 08:35

Didimum · 21/12/2024 08:34

It’s not generally advised to use scratch mitts anymore for a host of reasons, but there’s no way I think your MIL knows that and she’s just being annoying a critical.

What are the reasons pls? I was not aware of this

Didimum · 21/12/2024 08:34

It’s not generally advised to use scratch mitts anymore for a host of reasons, but there’s no way I think your MIL knows that and she’s just being annoying a critical.

MrsGhastlyCrumb · 21/12/2024 08:34

Why isn't your husband having a word with them? They sound demented. Of course protecting your baby from scratching themselves at that stage is rational. Yes, as their motor skills improve their hands need to be free, but luckily that's generally when they stop scissorhanding at their own faces like tiny weirdos.

Do they lead exceptionally dull lives?

HPandthelastwish · 21/12/2024 08:32

What possible damage could having her hands covered do?

None, that's how much.

Ignore and move on, if you have a second child an emery board is useful to file off sharp edges

Namechangeforthis88 · 21/12/2024 08:32

How bitchy of them to comment. You're going to need a thick skin with that pair. Your DH needs to tell them that if they're not going g to be supportive they're not going to see the baby much.

thehistorymum · 21/12/2024 08:31

You did the absolute right thing to keep your baby skins safe.

JMSA · 21/12/2024 08:30

You did entirely the right thing. Trust your own instinct.
Flowers

ThursdayLastWeek · 21/12/2024 08:30

You didn’t do the wrong thing. That’s why those mitts are build in.

Impossible to keep perspective when you’re so new to motherhood and the hormones are fucking with you and you’ve had no sleep but honestly - this makes them sound insane.

You will laugh about it one day.

ohidoliketobe · 21/12/2024 08:30

Ignore them, what you have described is exactly what the inbuilt mittens are designed for. Try a nail file if you still aren't keen on trimming with clippers btw. And congratulations.

BobblyGreyJumper · 21/12/2024 08:29

Your MIL sounds like a passive aggressive nightmare. I can’t bear people (usually mothers or mils) who talk to the baby in order to criticise the parents. Does she say it in front of your DH? I’d ask him to stop her next time she makes one of those comments and stand up for you, tell MIL you’re doing a great job and there no need for the comments.

curtaintwitcher78 · 21/12/2024 08:29

No. They're mental.
I am guessing that if it wasn't the hands they'd have had some other thing to dig you out about.

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