Did I do the wrong thing keeping newborn’s hands covered ?

"Grandma is using you to be passive aggressive to me, your mummy! What do you think about that, Baby? She'll stop doing it right now, won't she? Yes, she will. She will. Yes, she will..."

Try a passive aggressive “silly grandma not realising that I covered your hands so you didn’t scratch your face in your sleep”

OP, I’ve not RTFT but your in-laws sound like fucking idiots; try and ignore their bullshit.

I found the easiest way to keep my DD’s nails short was to just bite them with my teeth gently — they’re very soft and will come away nice and easily x

First poster nails it.

No. They’re idiots.

The first time I cut my baby’s nails I made her bleed.
That wasn’t my best day….
Teach your baby to give MIL the finger with her ‘beautiful hands’ at the earliest opportunity….

Ignore her you do what you think best for your baby .Grandma here I would never criticise my daughters with their babies if they ask for advice I give it .

You did exactly the right thing for you and your baby - I did something similar and my baby is two with no issues!

I agree with other posters who are saying it would be good if your DH could have a word. So many things to critique a new mum about and it’s awful when you’re already feeling vulnerable and questioning every decision

lots of love to you x

Swaddling is not recommended.
It's recommended to let baby be able to use their hands to self soothe, have that sensory experience as they're learning about the world and their bodies.

But the mil and sil are dicks for keeping mentioning it.

It's your baby and you'll find your own way.

I would be concerned about the bitchiness in the family. They don't sound supportive or kind. Keep them at arms length OP. I come from a family like that and it's horrible.

They’re both bitches. Ignore them.

Have you ever heard of an adult who struggles in life due to scratch mits?

I didn’t use mitts because I read it was important for babies to use their hands to help establish breastfeeding, and soothe by sucking their fingers. But it’s not one of those “you must do it this way!” things, nor could I give a hoot about someone else’s parenting choice. It affects me not.

MIL and SIL are behaving awfully but I suspect you’re going to need a thick skin and a game plan because lord knows they will have OPINIONS when it comes to sleep, weaning, potty training and other milestones. Slap them with your baby’s freshly uncovered hands.

She's being stupid.

Every baby is different and it was fine for you to use the mitts. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

My DS hated being swaddled and we didn't swaddle him because of it. A family member was horrified about this but I just tutted and gave it no extra thought because HV had said you don't have to swaddle anyway.

People can be so annoying.

So how did it actually affect the millions of people who wore mittens as a baby?
Coz it's quite hard to spot them as adults.

At the hospital with my first, one of the midwives told us that the baby uses their hands to feel things and we shouldn't put scratch mitts on him.

With my second I ignored this. I mean FFS it's hardly detrimental to stop them scratching themselves.

Sorry your MiL and SiL are so nasty. You did nothing wrong.

As pp have said, easiest way to trim a tiny baby's nails is to nibble them. I was advised to do that and remember doing so!

Oh yes it is wrong. MIL could have asked why OP was using the mitts and accepted the explanation. Instead she went with a put down. Women who do this don’t deserve to have access to their grandchildren. It costs nothing to rein in snipey, unhelpful comments and instead to compliment and support a new mum.

Next time they say something politely but firmly ask them to stop. They'll do the hurty feelings thing but point out they have been rude and hurt your feelings and they haven't worried about that.

Second time, take baby back and tell them to leave. If your DH protests tell him he can join them if he won't support you because you will not tolerate being continually insulted and undermined.

Be firm with your boundaries or you'll have years of this.

And yes, I did do this. When my baby was 4 months old she gave her a chocolate finger because I was mean and wouldn't let grandma feed her. Went batshit, left and didn't go back until she apologised 3 weeks later. Set the tone and meant we could have a good relationship because she knew I would happily enforce boundaries. And before I get the wait till they are older comments, my daughter is now a teen and exists solely on sweets, pot noodles and pizza but at least I know she had vegetables at some point in her life!

Luckily my husband was fully on board and supportive. His mother threatened to turn up at the hospital while I was in labour and he told her if she did and he missed supporting me when I needed him it would be the last time she saw either of us.

Not the wrong thing they just probably wanted to see the sweet little baby hands

Don't listen to her. Some people need to feel superior and will try and make you feel like shit and like you know nothing because you're a 1st time mom. You know your baby best, and I'm sure like most of us, you spend ages researching, reading, learning about everything and you make your own decisions based on what works for you and your babe. Be confident in your choices, and reply "OK, thanks for the advice. I'm happy with what I'm/we're doing right now, it's working for us", and if she keeps going just keep staing "OK, I don't want to talk about it anymore". You'll soon become immune to it.

If you want, you can try this kind of file on your baby's nails, maybe while they nap, as they can find it quite interesting and try and mouth it 😅
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Electric-Safety-Trimmer-Clipper-Fingers/dp/B07MXNVLMD/ref=mpsa14?crid=3L5ZSRYIF3HP2&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.01pp3sIEFQ83dFQwKdLRwLfv9AFdvloBmuLZniw0RCwKknaRBBGhDxOs71qz8nrIn-aJvIVaLOZig7HuCkjCKP-J9vghyFD3A4GFt2j8JIz99amtnUtIeIUsD0CqvloS5xZRr7OpORNKyDDTCjdPEXuSu1lMNeQhzmGSUXw7wYsyzD3t75cw6r3u1EjCy8AFLy0TmI7JOB3vnE-0bw.d0pH0kryjkXXVsMSrFwWtjWL9jecZdpDSGHBsyJYA&dibtag=se&keywords=baby+nail+file+electric&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1734772334&sprefix=baby+nail%2Caps%2C106&sr=8-4

Sounds like mil thinks she's entitled to your baby!

Don't let them undermine you, get your DH to talk to her.

This. What the pair of them have done is totally unacceptable. They are knocking your confidence as a new mum - appalling behaviour. What you did was absolutely correct - that’s what the built in mitts are for!

You are going to have to think through how to respond to similar comments going forward. I’d favour a cheery response which is a put down, but delivered with a smile. Never look nervous or anxious in front of these two - sounds like they will walk all over you, given half a chance. So if this comment comes again, go with ‘silly grandma!! She doesn’t know that that’s what the mitts are for! To keep your lovely face safe!!’

And yes, I would tell DH that you’ll not stand for any more of it. Be prepared for him to minimise it though. In my experience it only tends to dawn on them when they hear it themselves. My MIL blew it badly once when DH had told her in advance that we didn’t want to discuss some surgery I was having and she agreed - only to raise it when he was out of the room, but he walked back in, heard her, and told her to stop.

I sometimes put baby socks on DS's hands, as scratch mittens would fall off. Your MIL and SIL would have had a field day with that.

I agree with a pp who said your mil is a passive aggressive nightmare.
My mother was the same and the only way to shut her up was to tell her to stop, very forcibly.
You could try laughing at her “ oh stop it with the hands Mildred, She has feet as well but I didn’t keep those permanently on show” “ Yes Mildred I know you can see her hands and her eyes, and her nose, and her mouth”
If she glares at you looking clueless ( my mother’s tactic) Say quietly I know what you’re doing and it makes you look very silly then move on quickly.