No Christmas card from my baby

It's maybe family traditions as well? Maybe as a child, her Dad made cards from her for her mum and maybe she's been looking forward to it all her life. You might it understand it if you didn't have similar traditions and if you don't give or receive cards. Or maybe she might even just like it for whatever reason, and that's ok

I’ve come to the conclusion that he just doesn’t care about me.

Are you sure this is the right conclusion? It might be a bit drastic?

You have a right to really want that card. If he doesn’t get it then I’d order myself a Card, Best Mum pillow, mug etc.

Congratulations on your baby ❤️

I would never have forgiven my husband if he didn’t get me a mummy card for my first Christmas as one.

Good grief.

Maybe he's got you a present with mum on it, a mug or something, you'd get to keep that and just it every day if you want. A card from a baby doesn't really mean anything

It is bad manners to ask for gifts, very bad manners. Does not matter if it is your nearest and dearest, does not matter if it is only a card, or one flower, etc. etc. asking is not a done thing. People would avoid major disappointment if they stop asking.

I just would love to see a card on the mantelpiece that was for me that said Mum on it.

Put one there then. This should not be a test of your husband's love. I get that you're feeling emotional but please get some perspective. You've got a baby. The baby isn't sending you a card. You could get yourself a mum mug, ice the word on a cake, write it across the sky, it's not the important thing here. If he's loving and a decent dad and partner then don't get hung up on a piece of card. You'll have years of things with mum written on by your actual child and this will seem even more silly if you've made a deal of it.

@mumtoababygirl
you’ll get your arse handed to you and told Yabu.
And honestly I read this and eye rolled BUT…
it’s not really about the card.

it’s something that for whatever reason means a lot to you and takes very little effort from your DH…. He should do it.

i do stuff i doesn’t care about and think is stupid because it means a lot to my DH / makes him happy and vice versa. That what a caring relationship looks like.
why wouldn’t he do something so low effort that means so much to you?

I've only read OP's posts so this may already have been said . If you haven't given DH your one from the baby yet , why are you upset that he's not given one to you ??

For us. Christmas cards are for friends and relatives outside the family, it would never occur to us to spend money on cards for each other when we will be wishing each other a happy Christmas in person. But if it is a think in your family, it's still awfully early to conclude that your husband isn't going to give you a card from the baby.

i completely agree.

I have nothing to add that others haven't said already OP - but I remember feeling the same as you when it was DD's first Christmas, and to be honest I really can't remember now if I got a card or not! I do remember that for my first mother's day I got 3 cards from DD - one organised by DH, one by my mum (with DD's handprints) and one my MIL bought as she was worried DH would forget 😆🤦‍♀️

Whilst I really don't think you'll remember this in a few months - I do think it's important for parents to show their kids how to show their appreciation to their other parent/partners on special occasions (and other times) - so that when they're old enough to do it independently... they actually do! Just think of the number of 'my kids/dp didn't bother getting me a present' threads we get over Christmas.

Sending you lots of Christmas wishes for you and your baby.

I get where you’re coming from op. It took us 8 years to have our first child. He knows you want a card from your baby, that it means something significant to you. He should absolutely do it as a priority. It’s not a big ask and he shouldn’t need reminding.

I don't get this, today is the 21st of December
It's still 4 days away!

I kind of get it, but parenting is full of the most hideous disappointment and misunderstanding or disagreement with your other parent. Sort of have to be more self contained about it and seek fulfilment in your role more internally. Hard to explain but there are moment that give me joy that are spontaneous and don't rely on anyone except my children, say, giving me a hug. Babies are hard in that respect.

It's only the 21st of December why would you know about any card yet?

It’s not even Christmas yet.

You’re being daft.

It would be nice if people understood that people like different things and that doesn't make them "ridiculous" or any of the other words people have used. @mumtoababygirl I understand how you feel. Please tell your husband, because sometimes they just don't know. Hugs to you and please have a wonderful Christmas with your baby.

Kindly, you are being ridiculous imo is. It's not Christmas yet, your baby can't write, you haven't given your husband a card yet. I understand where you're coming from but this isn't worth the angst.

Yanbu.
You told him that you would love one, told him how much it would mean to you.

When you love someone then things that matter to them matter , even if they seem unimportant to you. You do them. They cost little in terms of time, money and effort, but they mean so much. Why wouldn't you do them for the person you claim to love?

I'm just surprised this is an unfamiliar concept to anyone tbh.

I would get one for yourself with baby. When mine was a baby I bought myself a mummy mug with photos on from her and a footprint coaster when I got them for her Dad as I wanted them and knew he wouldn't get around to it. Now DD forces the point that he is taking her shopping for me herself. I am not a surrendered wife but it was a case of getting myself what i wanted rather than waiting for it to be given. Its not too late now to find a pottery place or go to get a photo mug printed. DH asked who got you that when mine went into the cupboard and I said myself!

Yes this is a ‘how to show you have no understanding of infertility struggles without saying it’ sort of comment isn’t it?

I can totally understand OP’s position - it took 3 years to conceive my first and then another 3 years/5 miscarriages to bring my second into the world, so being a ‘mummy’ was/is a huge part of my sense of self, even now my kids are 16 and 19.

But that said, OP, DH’s can be thoughtless and busy and simply not get it. Hopefully he has a little mummy gift all prepared, but if he doesn’t, it doesn’t detract from the wonderful gift your baby is or the fact you are indeed a much loved mummy. You really will have a memory box filled with cards and hand made gifts that affirm this as the years pass.

@mumtoababygirl Sending a hug, one mummy to another. 🫂

I'm going to give you some advice.
Years of infertility take their toll. It's a distressing experience, and seeing cards on people's desks and mantelpieces has made you wistful.
You have your much wanted baby, but everything doesn't automatically fall into place, or allow you to exist in a perfect bubble of happiness. If it's not perfect, it's not the end, maybe just the beginning.
Please tell your DH how much this means.

Kindly, this is insane.

Is writing thoughtful cards something your DH has done in the past, during the times you were dating or for any times such as your birthday or anniversary? Does he write cards to others?

If yes then he will probably surprise you with the card. If not, then it may just be something he’s not great at. It’s up to you if you are angry or upset at this.

If my DH told me to write a card from our DC to him, I would do it but it wouldn’t feel genuine. Now that DC does art and craft at daycare, I get many beautiful, priceless pieces of art and cards that is from DC. This will happen in time for you, you’ll see.

I haven’t given him his yet, no. I have it but I just feel so stupid.

Maybe he just hasn’t given you yours yet either? Why not give him his card and say I was going to give you it Christmas Day but thought it’d be nice to see on the mantelpiece. He might have you one hidden for Christmas Day