To be dreading the holiday

Eh?

Haha! I beg to differ. Sometimes it's well deserved.

Your perfect parents obviously didn't teach you or the PP that smugness is an unpleasant trait.

😜

Do you not have any friends with kids to meet up /come over

Dh needs to man up as well

Cause nobody tells you how difficult it is, and if they did you wouldn't believe them.

What a load of rubbish, not bothering to get him dressed, do his teeth etc is lazy in itself let alone the rest. This is exactly what OP is on about; if she doesn't do these things he doesn't bother and they won't get done.

Well then they won't get done. The world doesn't end because your kid misses a morning of tooth brushing or stays in their pjs for the day. Let the kids have some fun and let the husband mind them in his own way without insisting on doing everything your way. Unclench! Everyone around you will appreciate it.

@nonotchristmas sorry op. 💐

two things which got me through lockdown with a baby and toddler:

Bath slime. Put slime in bath, put child in bath, give plastic toys, enjoy 45 mins peace. Turn into real bath afterwards. zimplistore.com/products/glitter-slime-baff-4-use-aqua-orange

One of these. Pushchair haters love them as it’s more like a bike. You can often find them on marketplace. babylove.ie/cdn/shop/files/rowerek-trojkolowy-movi-black-mint_11480_full.jpg?v=1729440017&width=1100

In the gentlest was possible, you are rejecting all the good suggestions here as not possible. Of course you can do crafting with your kids. I recognise the reactions you are having here (and the way you describe your children and your husband) as symptoms of depression. Can you see a GP over the Christmas break? It really isn't normal to dread spending time with your children or to have a "this couldn't possibly work" reaction to every suggestion. There is a better life for you with treatment, it doesn't have to be like this.

No need to swear like this at the poster!
My mother's kid also turned out exemplary!
😂

Yanbu! I have a very active 11 month old! And it’ll be me and husband and I k ow it’s going to be full on. It’ll be nice to have time with her but also I will miss the break I get when she’s at nursery.

OMG you have my sympathy! Reading your post made me shiver remembering the hell of two under 4 (with Christmas making it worse than usual!).

Crafting - don’t just don’t! 😱! A drive sobbing I recall doing on many occasion! Fuck the expense I back softplay or anything you think might help!

I know this isn’t particularly helpful but it gets much better when they leave home. Although as our baby (now 28) hasn’t quite made the move at least we can leave (our longest was three years - bliss!).

I have my grandchildren frequently ( they're 2 1/2 and 11 months) Big cardboard boxes go down well and entertain them for hours. We've had a huge ( child car seat)one on the go for months. It was a pretend kitchen . Now it's been flipped over and has fairy lights poked through holes in the top and it's a sparkly cave. The older one is very happy lying in it with his assortment of bears and books. Keeps them entertained for ages. I'm 59. I need periods of relative peace and a cup of tea. This helps. Just a thought.
The husband thing is very depressing to hear. Mine was like this. We divorced in the end.

you dont need to spend money,
a playground is ideal
indoors or outdoors

Boasting about being the perfect mother to someone who is struggling isn't helpful.

When mine were little I used to get a couple of memberships to attractions and then go to those places over and over again.

The best one was London Zoo membership. It was expensive but we went so many times, probably once a week on average as I had a day off. The kids loved it and could spend hours there. I didn't even mind it much myself as some of the animals and exhibits were interesting and there were toilets and places you could buy coffee. I would intersperse this with other memberships like Royal palaces for some variety. It was expensive but a fraction of the cost of what all those days out would be. Also then you could just pop in for a couple of hours.

If you have a car could you find a decent kids attraction in your area or within an hour or so and get membership to it? Then you can use it as a filler place you can always go to when the kids are bored at home.

I feel for you ,you sound worn out! I think working FT and having little ones is bloody hard work!I think its a shame your DH is not on board yet .He may improve as DC get older .The local garden centres have FC and ours had a couple of real reindeer! You can grab a coffee or juice for them/ (DC not reindeer!) We live near the beach ,so collecting shells if possible?or a woodland walk, pine cones or small pieces of wood ,get home and paint them ? Mine used to like a drive round to see the "Ho Ho Ho houses " Peoples lights !I think you need to shift down a gear and see what they like to do ,I am an ex Nursery School Teacher and young children are tired after activities in Nursery .They need time to wind down and relax. as do you .

Building dens is a great idea. Forgot about that. It's amazing what a few sheets and some clothes pegs can do. We used to build a den, do some imagination play and then put on their favourite Cbeebies show so they could play with their duplo in there and watch at the same time. I'd make them a snack tray they could have inside. They loved it. Very simple and effective.

And I think it's absolutely awful that you have bothered to post this just to be judgemental and completely unhelpful. How is your post helpful to OP in any way?

A good tip can be to watch a Bluey episode together, then play the game in the episode - loads of them have fun ideas for games in which will keep kids entertained like playing magic xylophone or crazy pillow or whatever. Plus it means you space out the play time with a chance to sit on the sofa (and surely DH could do this too?)

Also here’s some things I did w my kids at that age:
lots of Lego duplo
building dens
playing a cardboard boxes (should have loads from Christmas deliberies) ie making them into castles or drawing on them and cutting windows in them
lots of different ball games
messy play like obleck and similar

going nuts with exhaustion and crying while I let them have screen time even though I said I wouldn’t…don’t beat yourself up. A bit extra screen time or buying yourself some rest with snacks won’t harm in the long run. Don’t think you have to be superhuman and ignore all the condescending and judgmental comments. In my experience people who say stuff like what are you complaining about and I never had any issues etc etc either had very easy and privileged situations when their kids were small for one reason or another, have suppressed how hard things really were, or just had very low standards. we all just have vastly different situations in terms of how much the partner helps, the size of our home, if We have access to a garden or nature, if we have family and friends around, if we have local free activities etc. Kids are also different and some are eaiser than others, and we all had different mental and physical health too.

if you’re struggling that’s fair to admit, you have my sympathy and I hope you find ways to get through the holidays, and don’t beat yourself up if the kids or you have some hard system sometimes. Just try again next day and know that kids are resilient and don’t need a picture perfect childhood to grow up just fine.

YANBU. I love my kids but god knows it was hard when they were younger when I had both of them non stop. Luckily Mil often had one which was a godsend because having one was so easy in comparison. It will get better OP! Just try to wear them out outside so they don't have as much energy left to bicker at home. Also try install different play sets like play dooh, drawing, playmobil, lego, trains and be overly enthusiastic. I started out playing with them and when they were caught in the game I slowly retracted:)

@nonotchristmas

Firstly ignore the self righteous idiots of this thread with the 'poor children' comments. The fact that they gleefully stick the knife in says more about them than you.

Now, its bloody tough with two that age, no matter what anyone says. So recognising that doesn't make you weak or a bad mum, it makes you a fallible human just like the rest of us.

I remember a Christmas when my mum didn't have long left and was in the hospice, I had two your age and both DH and I had the flu. I was literally on my knees mentally and physically with a big dollop of feeling guilty that the kids wouldn't have a good Christmas. So I just let go and thought just getting through the day was enough. That next Christmas they would be older and it would get better, and it did. So take the mental pressure off yourself. It gets easier with them as they get older so just keep in mind that they won't always be like this.

All I did that Christmas was put back to back films/kids TV on, leave making stuff out and toys to play with, opened snacks and stayed in PJs. I just surrendered. It was an awful Christmas for the adults but the kids didn't notice and they survived.

Obviously your situation is different and a useless DH has to addressed at some point or it will cause long term damage. But for this Christmas, you do have some breaks with family around. Don't be afraid of being vocal in asking for help. It's so isolating trying to do everything yourself. Ask your ILs to entertain the kids, put your DH on the spot to help. Push back, don't take it all on yourself.

Activities to wear them out is the key, walking is a great idea and lots of fresh air. Can your eldest kick a ball? Give DH a ball and send him to thr Park with the eldest.

If you have to go to a soft play then just grit your teeth and use it for all its worth. Anything to keep your sanity.

Try to have a little plan for each day, it will give you routine and shape the day with tasks.

Good luck and keep your chin up. It does get easier.

Small kids are lots of fun if you have a village.

Less so if even your team-mate abandons the field for the pub at the start of a game and you're left playing on the pitch by yourself, alone.

Sympathies, OP.

Personally, I'd do indoor-outdoor-indoor-outdoor. So soft play - woodland walk - shopping mall - playground and cafe trip.