To be dreading the holiday

I might get flamed for this myself - but Mindset is a thing. You have already decided its going to be horrendous. Therefore it absolutely will be.

There's a chance though, if you planned the break well with some of the fab suggestions on here, sprinkled on some positive thought, and be very firm and clear with DP that you are also having some time to yourself to get organised and do some self care ( don't give him a choice ) ..that it might actually be a very lovely christmas break.

Your kids will also pick up on how you feel, which will then come back to you in their behaviour ten fold.

Cooking, Cleaning and most of the mundane stuff we have to do can all be gamified to include the kids. Start a "team christmas" and let them start earning elf points :)

Im a lockdown Mum. Give me a two week christmas break in the house, over a summer of discontent anyday!! 😂 But under normal circumstances, it really is in how you approach it and how you engage with the kids throughout which will determine how you find it.

Good luck :)

People do it all the time - military wives, people with partners who work long hours. Some people even have more children than OP ( !!)

it’s not hell on earth. Op isn’t in Gaza and she needs to get a flipping grip.

I guess family life is hell on earth in a marriage where you’re completely unsupported and uncared for. Funny that.

OP is getting a pretty unfair deal here by some posters. She had every right to feel arsey and miserable.

She is being utterly robbed of her ability to enjoy her children because their father is a terrible dad and a terrible husband.

If anyone has the wherewithal to grasp that in the same situation, then you’d be bloody miserable too.

Well don’t act like one then. Seriously, looking after your own children for a week and you’re acting like it’s hell of earth.

Why on earth should I be ashamed? And she's practically biting people's heads off.

I agree with you!!

op……YABU!!!

I look after our 1 yo and 4 yo every day minus 15 hours of preschool a week, and I’m pregnant.

it’s two small children that you chose to have. Honestly just get on with it and stop being a whinge. Find things to enjoy about their childhood!! Go and see the Christmas lights (free!!) make some cookie, put a film on. It’s not rocket science

Why don't you do more free stuff then? The weather may not be your cup of tea but the kids won't care. Just getting them outside even for half an hour of running round with a ball or a walk to the shop or post Xmas cards to neighbours will be beneficial to all of you. Trying to do only indoor activities will not be helping.

I completely understand what you’re saying. The issue is your husband not caring enough about your well-being to take on his share of the childcare and give you the break you need. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with that. You sound like a really good mother whose ability to really enjoy her children is being wrecked by their selfish, lazy dad.

It is tough and relentless. And somewhat unfortunate that you've ended up surrounded by both a completely useless DH and friends who either have one child or a lot of support... a close friend of mine has two, but has their grandparents stay over from Thursday - Sunday each week on alternating weeks to help, and both go to nursery Tuesday and Wednesday, so she's only got them to "herself" one day a week, and with her husband two days. Thankfully other friends of mine have a lot less support!

We have none, but DH will have him. Sadly most of the time that he does is spent with me working, but that's just our situation right now.

I'm not sure that you actually want tips, but I will sympathise. It's tiring and relentless and then you feel guilty for feeling like that...

Mine are off until the 7th now!

She's not being remotely nasty. A bit exasperated but that's understandable given some of the horrible posts blaming her and not her useless husband for him being useless or criticising her for wanting to vent.

Your post is possibly the nastiest. You should feel ashamed of yourself.

You have a partner problem op you need to deal with it, maybe not now but soon. Small kids are exhausting and relentless. I remember it well

I feel you.
It's not even day one (weekend always happens) and I'm thoroughly done in. I have four so it's loud, messy and I just feel like I can't get a single thing done as there is always someone there in my way

Hi OP. I remember these days well. I have twins and also remember dreading these stretches of time with no childcare. They were also only just turned two when Covid hit and nursery shut its doors for 4 months.

Is this the first time you’ve had a big chunk like this at the ages they are? Was the eldest in nursery while you were on mat leave with the youngest?

What I would say, rather than trying to give tips of what to do with them, is try to just take each day as it comes as not think ahead too much. I do remember the twins actually being much easier than I thought they’d be when it came to it, and I think that’s because when kids are in childcare, you often see them at their very worst when you are are also at your worst – all tired after a long day or having to get up and rush around in the morning, and then weekends they are still tired from the week, as are you.

I think with longer stretches out of childcare, even though they are demanding, everyone is just a bit happier and with more energy for the day ahead.

Christmas breaks are not good for many people for a variety of reasons.
It will be over soon.
As for the illusion of happy family xmas's well????????

Still being a nob then. Think you need to go and get some fresh air so you can be a bit nicer.

She doesn’t sound uptight and aggressive at all, what a bloody stupid thing to say. Only an idiot would think it was ok to attempt to work from home and look after two toddlers at the same time. OP’s point is clearly that the care of the children suffered because instead of actually looking after them, her husband was trying to work. That’s why they ate rubbish, had toileting accidents and weren’t dressed. And she’s clearly pointing out that this is an ongoing pattern of behaviour rather than a one off.

The way some posters trip over themselves to defend useless men failing to parent their kids properly is absolutely embarrassing.

OP - I think I’d be dreading the holidays too if I was managing two toddlers with a bloody useless co-parent who can’t be relied upon. I would seriously consider whether it’s time for you to decide if this marriage is worth it and then communicate to your husband that if he isn’t going to change and actually start fulfilling his responsibilities then you’re not sticking around to have your life ruined by him any more. It’s not just that he’s selfish and lazy - it’s the fact that he is ruining your own enjoyment of your children by forcing you to do everything to the point where you’re burned out and exhausted.

To survive these next couple of weeks I would look into every possible free activity you can take advantage of to get out of the house. Are there any options like:

• local libraries - even if they aren’t running activities are they open so you can take the kids out and read books for an hour?
• Garden picnic - one of my favourite ways to get kids outside. Put hot food (soup, hot chocolate, toasties etc) in a basket with hot water bottles and get out into the garden or a local outdoor spot in warm clothes and waterproofs for a garden picnic. My son LOVES these and it’s a low effort way to get fresh air and time away from home.
• swimming - if public pools are open take them out, it exhausts them and they usually love it
• nature scavenger hunt. Give them a list of things to find on a walk or in a park. Preferably one near a picnic area so you can scroll your phone and have a coffee while they’re searching.
• are there any crafts they like? Colouring, sticker books etc? Stock up from somewhere cheap like The Works

But seriously - come the new year, decide if your husband is actually bringing value to your life and act accordingly…

You posted because you're struggling and you're being really nasty to people who were kind enough to offer help and advice. I think you need to take a real look at why your kids don't want to do activities with you. Could be because they can clearly tell you're miserable and uninterested, kids aren't stupid.

Did your husband want the children? If he did why isn't he looking after them or enjoying being with them?

OP this is your thread. People are mostly directing their comments at you. You've had some shitty replies but some really nice supportive long ones too, including from me. However, you obviously just wanted a vent and not solutions so I'll leave you to it. Again, best of luck.