To be dreading the holiday

Maybe not anxious, but definitely negative. That's just a typical Welsh winter. Which lasts about nine months.

Not everyone but a lot of posters feel offended if the OP isn't grateful enough for their advice or if she doesn't take it gratefully on board.

Then you get the sort of parents who say they can keep a child entertained for a whole day with the middles of three toilet rolls and one felt tip pen.

The truth is that some children are much easier to entertain and keep happy than others. It doesn't actually mean that they are better parents.

Well that's one day sorted. Buy edible glitter, buy some cookie dough for them to shape, sprinkle edible glitter, now they have to poo in the loo to see if it makes the water glittery!

your DH is the problem, he sounds like an absolute waste of space.

if you're going to be a single parent anyway it would be better to separate and then you can dump them on him regularly to get your peace and quiet.

As your first comment was:

'I think it's absolutely awful that you dread spending time with your own children to be honest.'

you were certainly not one of the people being kind enough to offer help and advice. In fact, your latest judgemental, sanctimonious and unkind comment makes it crystal clear what sort of person you are.

Nothing - It was a remark I made to high light we all go through similar with young children and that we all sacrifice our own wants and needs for years until they are older. However - judging by your reply to ke, and others, it feels that you have absolutely no issue in making others feel as crappy as you do, should you be having a bad day.

Take from that what you will.

Merry Christmas.

@nonotchristmas No I get what you mean, and it depends a huge amount on the kind of kids you have. My daughter is basically a lovely little potato, loves reading, crafts, pretend play, and dancing/music. And she hates the wind and being cold, so it's not as simple as wrapping up (5 layers is not enough apparently) to go puddle jumping in the park! My son though is hyperactive and can't sit still, and we live in a flat. It can be stressful. The exhaustion can really grind you down.

I am optimistic for our Christmas though!

@FarmerLlama No, older immature boy and younger advanced girl. Her communication is excellent, and not far behind him 🤣 My expectations are low lol, but they make forts, build armies of stuffies, obstacles courses, cars, sword fights etc. He teachers her things to play with him and she loves it and him very much. Of course they bicker and tell tales, but them playing together means it's not a constant 'mummy mummy mummy'. They're both really into dressing up at the moment now too, and having dance parties.

I don't think you sound aggressive, you sound worn out and pissed off.

People making suggestions that you know won't work (because you know your own kids) but then having posters say you are wrong or ridiculous for knowing that, really doesn't help.

And your DH isn't an equal help either.

Can you carve out any time for yourself alone at all? I know the house will be a tip and you will come back to two tired/messy kids. But if you can get a few hours of not being on duty, it might give you a bit of energy to start again?

Trying to think of examples that don't sound shite, but even a coffee shop with a book, not on your phone. Or go to a film on your own and if you hate the film, have a snooze. A bath with headphones in and refuse to be disturbed (bet that won't work, they'll know you are in there!)

In an ideal world, I'd say an overnight in travelodge, but that's probably a stretch!

I have three girls
They do not play together. They squabble and fight like cat and dog. They would never colour together as that would be copying each other and God forbid
If I put a film on, guarantee the other one will suddenly hate it and I hear screams of its not fair

A loving and supportive husband in the military or that works long hours is not the same, at all, as a husband who is physically present but that does not provide emotional or practical support.

A situation does not have to be literal warfare in order for it to cause damage, depression and eroded wellbeing.

Sorry, but if you can’t understand the importance of getting support in your marriage then you don’t have enough emotional intelligence to understand OP’s situation.

Yea that’s right! WHY hasn’t OP and everyone else who’s struggling thought of the simple solution to just CHEER UP! Brilliant.

It's ridiculous to say you can't go to the park because it's slippy, or the woods are muddy. We were on the beach for three hours Tuesday afternoon. You just put on waterproofs and layers and go. Of course you're going to find it hard work if you stay home in a grump.

@Bippityboppitybooo do you have two girls? I always hear about young children playing nicely together and I used to play with my sister for hours when I was a child, but my children are older boy and younger girl (same as op) and the times that they have ever played nicely together are very very rare as they just don't like doing the same things.

I agree about the partner, but if that isn't want op has, it's not going to help.

Op get them outside come hell or high water, it will be better for everyone's health both physical and mental

OP it really sounds like there are bigger issues here. Your set up just doesn’t sound good and your DH is perhaps only part of it.
I know that how I feel about looking agtrt my kids is all about the set-up - where I live, how much disposable income, how much space, how much support from partner, family and friends. My own work situation. All of it creates a framework which affects my abilities to create nice days and my mood and mental health.

other posters comparing to their entirely different situations is entirely pointless and unhelpful.

OP, focus on getting through this holiday and then think of what changes you can make to improve your overall life situation.

Sympathy @nonotchristmas . This is the first year I'm keeping dd home from nursery between Xmas eve and new year (they're literally only closed bank holidays). Now they're a little older (almost 3 and almost 6) they're thick as thieves and playing beautifully together. It will still be louder and with more whining than I'd like, but I'd feel too guilty to send her to nursery when she must need a break too.

BUT - I have an equal dp, we will alternate and keep the pressure off each other. We're a team. It would be a lot more fraught with a crap dp who didn't pull his weight...

Can you not see how aggressive you are? Perhaps the GP can help?

nonotchristmas · Today 12:07
**
I have not said it will be hell on earth, I’ve said it will be hard, and it will. Yes, some of you had seven under threes, went to the park every day even when it was flooded: it was jolly japes and little Hattie just loved practicing swimming since you’d never do anything as gauche as pay to go to a swimming pool.
Me, I’m not made as such stern stuff, I do get tired and want / need a break

There’s really no need to be so rude to people. Lots of posters have been very kind. You are very negative. Presumably you had worked out that your husband was pretty hopeless before you decided to have a second child?

Well all do lovely, i commented as a full time working mum, with a husband who works 55 hours a week. We are all exhausted. You, me, every body that commented. I can assure you, i am the furthest away from any "jolly japes" and little Hattie can f off away from me. But we had kids. And our needs are secondary to their immediate ones for a little while.