To be dreading the holiday

God OP that sounds hard - I totally relate to how you feel and I remember dreading weekends sometimes when mine were that age . However my DH wasn't so useless. If it helps it's much easier now - they are both primary age and I'm looking forward to two weeks off with them. You will get there! I recommend sitting down and having a google and making a list of ideas for activities. And ensuring you have everything you need for them. You've had some good ideas already.

Park can be hard work but you do need an outing every day so check library opening times over Christmas. Walking to library, reading some books, getting a coffee and cake and walking home is a great outing. Set the older one some challenges - can you make a town from your toys? Scour Pinterest for toddler Xmas craft ideas. Go shopping to choose a present for Daddy (and he could take them to do the same...)

Anyway - I understand and I know it doesn't mean you don't love them, it's just tough at those ages - the days are long! So, take some time to prepare and have a bank of ideas (for example my kids loved playing cafes that age so you can spend time setting it up, making a menu, making some fairy cakes to serve etc). I hope you have a good Christmas and, if you can, maybe book a day off in the new year when they are both at nursery xx

"DH does nothing"

There's your problem.

I bet that's not just a Christmas problem either. My DH will be cooking the Christmas lunch. He doesn't know it yet 😉

Why do we women accept men behaving like children? Why do we think they are not fellow adult human beings capable of doing all the things we do?! My own father is a lazy lump of lard and my mother enables him?! It's horrifying to watch!

In the new year, stop doing all the things you do. Just stop. Stop cleaning. Stop cooking for him. Stop washing his clothes. If he wants food, clean clothes or a clean house he'll have to step up. Say you are on strike.

Also I hear you in the kids, they go insane indoors when it's wet cold, dark and horrible outside. My almost 2 year old clings to me and I have a bad back, it's mummy mummy mummy constantly. Sometimes a walk with raincoats and wellies is refreshing if you can get past the barrier of not wanting to go out in it! Christmas light walk is free, look at other people's lights or even drive. Go for a hot chocolate but make sure you find them somewhere for them to run around after. If library is open could try there they often have craft activities, toys as well as books and it's free and indoors. Find a board game try can participate in if they are old enough. Snakes and ladders with a big dice? Failing that Christmas movies with popcorn and make your own cinema. Build dens/forts/igloos indoors with cushions and fairy lights and telly stories. Treasure hunt around the house?

No real advice but can't just read and run. Even at 72 I still remember the slight feeling of dread and claustrophobia waking up to any school holiday with 2 little ones - loved them to bits but the days were soooo long! All I can suggest is to lower your standards so lots of mindless cartoons and snacks, 2 baths a day if it helps and just lie on the sofa every now and then trying to think relaxing thoughts. As long as they're safe in the room with you then you can disengage sometimes for your sanity. Ignore all the snippy, holier-than-thou comments - I won't be the only one who empathises 💐

find some indoor fun,
do less and concentrate on them playing, puzzles, dressing up, tidying up, painting, cooking

What a load of rubbish, not bothering to get him dressed, do his teeth etc is lazy in itself let alone the rest. This is exactly what OP is on about; if she doesn't do these things he doesn't bother and they won't get done.

Take each day at a time.
When at home stick to a simple routine which includes your husband ALWAYS dressing one child ready for the day.
Ask your husband to be responsible for more daily chores during the holiday as you will be doing more childcare.
Set those in stone - for example he cooks every evening meal by xx o'clock and cleans up the kitchen. He does a load of washing during the day and dries it..
Activities at home..
keep the kids in one or two areas, stick to the rule of only three activities out at a time (teach kids to pack away toys)
read books often, have a craft table in an area with hard flooring, play with the kids for a set time then leave them to play, repeat; turn off phone, take them for a walk around the block - there will be differences every day that they see, have them help make snacks for the day and lunch to pack into their boxes, invite a friend over a couple of times (you might receive an invite too), playing on swing outside with Dad, chores - folding clothes, sweeping, watering plants, food shopping (take one while your DH has the other)
Other Activities ..
Aim to have an outing every second day - Libraries, swimming pools, softplay, visiting grandparents, cousins, friends, take away food venue, cinema, walking around the block and counting dogs..
Could you also plan a family weekend away? - some where close enough but sunnier, involving pony rides, looking at animals, digging in damp sand with Dad for hours...

I feel for you OP, I remember how hard it is. You've had a few good suggestions here, making play dough was always a good one for bad weather days in my house, or a bit of baking. Biscuits with Christmas cutters or just melt chocolate and do Rice Krispie cakes - don't stress over the outputs needing to be decent, just let them faff over it and make a mess!! Make pancakes and let them decorate them with bits of fruit and a few chocolate chips
Daytime baths were a good time killer too

as a PP has said, get out for a walk every day, even just a stroll to the supermarket to pick up a few bits. Kids are fine with mundane, it's boring for you but if they are occupied your week will be easier.
Have you got friends with similar aged kids you could arrange to meet for a cuppa at soft play or playground? Those places are more bearable with company and good for kids to see others too

You have a HUGE DH problem but you already know this.

Settle into a rhythm. Out in the morning and possibly lunch. Home for a chill with TV, play with toys, tea, bath, bed.

Accept your DH is utter shit and make a game out of being surprised if he does anything.

She does, this is a parenting site and she needs support, your comment is cruel.

Feeling extra bitchy at 4am were you?

Wow your DH is fucking useless and I can’t believe some of these replies.

LOW BAR ALERT from them.

A good DH tells his wife to go and do her own things or takes his kids out for things he has planned himself.

A good DH cleans kids teeth and dresses them properly as part of their routine.

You’re not uptight or hate spending time with your kids OP! Your crappy husband is stopping you enjoying your kids because he’s not being the partner you need him to be!!!!

I’m working xmas eve, DP has booked the day off to do something nice with our kids before I finish. Last week he took him out all day to the markets and left me at home to get some house stuff done. We all do stuff together too!

You do realise op that a great many people look after their dc 247 365 days a year for decades! How can you not manage just a week? They are your own children and are little for such a small amount of time.

Please reframe this. This is your opportunity to spend some proper time with them.

A Christmas teddy bears party cost nothing
Glitter and make decorations for the tree cost pence.
Draw cards for each of the relatives
Christmas baking
Take them to the family friendly church service - it is free
They can help decorate the Christmas table
Play hide and seek with Christmas chocolates - they love that
Watch a Christmas film

If you approach this with a mindset of making this Christmas all about them, then it will be fun. Your little one is crying out for affection, hence the needing to be picked up. Tune into their little world, and yes dp needs to be told. You should not be accepting us lack of participation and parenting. Put your foot down. It is unfair on the children and unfair on you.

This is why I only had one. I knew I couldn't cope with any more. How people manage with three under 4 I've no idea. I salute them.

Someone not doing things "your way" is not "useless". This sounds fine (as long as DH cleaned the poo accident up - these things happen with young kids). Spaghetti hoops and choc for lunch won't harm your kids every now and then. You sound really uptight and aggressive.

If your DH will, in fact, take the children, as seems to be the case, you need to let him and stop judging. I bet the kids had a great time with him.

Are there any library sessions happening near you? Or local museums doing family days?

I found winter so tough with young kids, I scoured Facebook groups for local playgroups still running or rhyme time at the library etc.
swimming? Used to be a faff but tire them out.

Honestly, the best advice I can give you is to divorce your useless lump of a husband, and let him have the children every Christmas.

Two birds, one stone.

Be careful you don't over stimulate them. They'll have plenty to do with all of their new toys to play with etc. Don't feel you have to do planned out and about activity daily- chilling and making salt dough to play with, let them have a splash in the bath of a morning or afternoon, finger paint/hand painting, if it's dry out get some chalk and let them chalk all over the patio/pavement etc. Plus it's cheap/free!!!

Let them get on with their new toys, will that keep them busy?

I thought from reading your initial post you were a single parent, the fact you have a DH is wild. I'm not sure what you want people to say really, if it's just for empathy then I feel for you, having a useless waste of space husband who sounds like a terrible father as well as partner is hard, and having 2 young children is relentless and hard. If it's suggestions then you've already said no to the obvious such as the park.

@nonotchristmas I used to live in the country, didnt drive, one bus a day, coal fire, no phone, no shops. short walks around the fields, pick a few berries. rolls of old wallpaper taped to kitchen table, let them paint, do hand painting, teach them songs, read childrens rhymes and books, bake biscuits and cakes. etc etc. there is a lot you can do in the house too. tell your hubby to get his arse into gear for goodness sake!

Why did you have children if you don't even want to spend two weeks with them?

I teach so I'm off now with my 3 under 5 and I totally get it. I dread every single holiday despite being told how great it must be and indeed to take them to the park. I've got no tips but definitely here in solidarity (as one has got everyone up at 5.30am)

Why are you standing for this shit behaviour from your partner? Poor kids, and poor you, he needs to step up! And if he’s that useless perhaps 2025 calls for a new approach… just saying.

I feel you. Similar situation 3 year old and 3 month old baby. Husband has to work a lot over Xmas as we used his hols up to extend his pat leave as I had another c section.

I’ll be roping my sister in to take my 3 year old to as many soft plays as possible!!

Christmas does hit different with little kids I remember my life before kids when I’d basically eat chocolate and read my kindle for a week solid.

it will get easier though in a few years to come they won’t want to know us, will be doing their own thing!

She’s here for help, not judgement. Scroll on if you can’t say anything nice.