To be dreading the holiday

Why? 2 weeks with young children where most things are closed or unaffordable along with crappy weather lots would find challenging even if they darent admit it.

Mine were 23 months apart.

We basically lived at the park. I don't get your reticence. (and yes my daughter got hit in the mouth by a swing and we needed a paramedic, so I do understand they can be dangerous).

We found a nice park for toddlers which was gated and as soon as the children finished their lunchtime sleep, all the mums would meet at the park in all weathers.

Small DC wore all in one puddle suits with mittens and we let them crawl around on the floor.

Older DC spent two hours going up and down the slide or swinging. Someone would take a flask and cake or biscuits.

All DC would be exhausted by 4pm.

In my opinion soft play was hell on earth and I would only go in absolute extremis. So parties etc.

Sometimes you need to thoroughly wear them out to get a bit of peace and quiet.

I'd be disgusted if my DH didn't bother doing personal hygiene for DS like brushing his teeth and just gave him crappy food rather than actual meals, let alone the soiled pants and not being dressed appropriately. It's lazy, and it's exactly the point OP is making. As a one off it's debatable that's it's acceptable (I disagree but still), but by other posts he'd do the same every day, so unless OP does it this child would not have their teeth brushed, wouldn't be dressed properly, would eat crap, be left in soiled underwear and never go out to do stuff; does that sound decent to you?

I think it's absolutely awful that you dread spending time with your own children to be honest.

Your DH sounds absolutely useless. I'd be that much of a cow that I'd have to say something to embarrass him in front of his parents about how they raised a lazy useless man child. Walks, parks, soft play, swimming, cinema. Things don't have to cost a fortune to get out of the house for a while.

It's so hard work with little ones at Christmas at you will be feeling under so much pressure to provide a magical Christmas for them. I've been there and yes it should be a partnership with your other half but sometimes is isn't and that's an issue for another day. As a another poster has said , you must lower your expectations and just concentrate on the basics at the moment. Do little simple things with the kids so you are rested as much as possible. It's important that they have a calm mum that they can look to. Ignore the sad posters that are getting pleasure from kicking you when you are down, they have their own issues to deal with. You are in the midst of it at the moment but take advice and support from us. You are a mum and you are doing great. After Christmas when its all died down , you can cuddle your kids on the sofa and see how lucky and loved you are.

🤦‍♀️

No need to judge high up there on your pedestal. Give us a big wave then!

OP is here for support.

My worst nightmare when my DC were small was soft play, I actively avoided it like the plague due to being confined to one area with them😫. I need outdoors! At least if outdoors you benefit from it as well. Nothing at all to benefit from as a parent sitting in soft play. It's sh*t IMO.

Lower expectations

If I was having a day juggling the kids at home and my husband told me off for not having the kids dressed properly I'd be pretty cranky

Your dh sounds utterly useless op and as others have said that needs dealing with. However, practical advice to get you through christmas. Routines are your friend. Pretend you are running a nursery. Breakfast lunch and dinner at set times. Keep it all nice and simple. Breakfast then dressed and walk, get some reigns for the toddler so they can come out of the pushchair and walk very slowly if they need to. Keep the older one busy with a scavenger hunt....can you find me a feather, green leaf, round pebble, long stick etc. Then home for lunch (cheese sarnie, grapes and cucumber followed by a yogurt or something easy). Get the older one engaged in washing up while you clear up. Then do some sort of easy craft (stickers, stamps, finger paint etc), nap time if they still have naps and then, make believe play time....it's amazing how easy it is to play Dr's and to be the patient....or to play shops with some cans from the cupboard. Tell your useless dh that it's his job to cook dinner for 5 pm. After dinner, plonk them in the bath for a nice long wind down before bed. Yes it's exhausting but you can build in little wins. A walk past a nice coffee shop. Get dh to sit with them while they are in the bath. Pre make the lunches for a few days ahead.

I have an extremely energetic 2.5 year old, and as we went to pick him up on his last day (he doesn't do Mondays), I just said oh no, we have his craziness with no break for 2 weeks 😂

Luckily he loves his extended family, so when we are seeing them he'll ditch us but I get it, it's still going to be tough!

Because she probably did not know it would be so hard. She has all my sympathies.

Wow! I’m very impressed with all the crafting/baking/walking ideas.

I don’t remember anything other than videos, sweets and maybe a bit of paper chain making. Traditions I happily continued with mine. As well as an extra glass of sherry or two when the need arose (for me, not the kids…although…).

Put your feet up and crack open the Bailey’s. Everything will be back to normal
soon enough!

I have four ranging from 17 to 7. Over the years we were out in all weathers and I don't care what anyone says but it saved my sanity in those early years when all of them were small. It really did.

Being cooped up is like hell on earth for me personally.

It's getting easier as they get older and you will get to that point too OP.

Hopefully you get a break over the Christmas holidays. Even just an afternoon out.

I wouldn't think of it as how many days, I would take it one day at a time. Then tick them off as you go. This may feel more manageable then. Obviously your DH is a shit but you know that. You sound exhausted OP. Would your PIL look after them for a few hours one day so you can get a break?

As others have said it sounds like your DH is sadly the problem here as if you were more supported you probably wouldn't feel so worn down.
Do you have any friends or family nearby?

Oh and we used to have ‘cuddle afternoons’ aka all on the sofa under a blanket, with popcorn watching a film. They still remember these and they are in their 20’s now.

Some good ideas here, agree with getting into a rhythm so DC know what to expect on days where there are no particular events. If you don’t have a proactive plan for the day it will seem endless (pandemic preschooler experience here). I would try to get out in the morning then have a planned activity at home in the afternoon. Daytime baths can get you a bit of sitting with a thermos of tea time. Have a planned pressure reliever if things start getting overwhelming - mine was putting them in the car, listening to audiobooks while getting mummy a coffee from drive through starbucks. Ok DH is awful but what CAN he do? Just focus on any way he can be helpful for now (unless safety issues), eg could he take the oldest to a childrens film at cinema/ take the youngest for a pushchair walk/ take them to softplay instead of you? Lastly every day have something you are looking forward to to, whether a chapter of a book, online shopping for something, a lovely meal etc. Good luck!

Off the top of my head

baking and decorating fairy cakes

art and crafts painting sticky mosaics playdough painting

jigsaw puzzle

jumping in puddles (appropriately dressed) with bin bag by front door to take everything off

soft play

indoor picnic that they ‘help’ get ready & sandwiches cut into shapes that they can do.

easy ‘jobs’
washing vegetables
laying the table for Christmas Day
preparing Father Christmas’s mince pie and drink and carrots for reindeer (don’t forget to eat & drink them! Don’t throw away. Side eyes dh

panto or cinema if you can
age appropriate carol service
see if anything on near you for under 5 meet ups

it’s a tough time as the weather is grim but I used to try to get out for a bit. My dh used to have to work long hours so was always down to me apart from the weekends when we would divide and conquer!

Good luck